DH and I were discussing this the other day and he doesn't see the purpose of godparents. I'm Hispanic, so in the Hispanic culture is very common to have godparents, whether you're catholic or not. I love my godmother and godfather, they are VERY important in my life and I can't imagine not having them. I decided I want my cousin who I grew up with and is like a sister to me, to be the godmother of our first child and then I told DH that he could choose the godfather. His answer was "our kids are not having godparents, we're not catholic and that's stupid, I don't see the point". I got kind of hurt and upset at his attitude. I have adopted American traditions that I never celebrated because I know they are important to him, so you'd think he would be a little more sensitive about it. Anyways, our kids are having godparents regardless of what he thinks, and I'll just have to choose them myself.
So I was wondering, what is your take in having/being a godparent?
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
DH and I are both Catholic, so yes our kids will have godparents. I guess since I grew up with it I didn't realize it was such a "catholic" tradition. I knew non-catholics who did. Maybe you could explain to YH you want to do it because of your heritage not because of religion.
BFP #1 11/28/09 ~ EDD 8/6/10 ~ DS Born 8/9/10 BFP #2 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/8/14 ~ Natural MC 9/18/13 at 6 weeks, 6 days BFP#3 3/28/14 ~ EDD 12/7/14 ~ DD Born 11/21/14 BFP#4 6/15/17 ~ EDD 2/20/18
We're atheists, so having godparents doesn't make a whole lot of sense for us. We have written in our wills who we would like to have custody of our children should something happen to both of us.
Even if your husband doesn't see the purpose, I see no harm in having them if it's important to you. You should definitely choose them yourself since you're the one it's important to.
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DH and I aren't religious, so our kids won't have godparents. I never had them and DH's are his aunt and uncle that doesn't even really see all that much.
My son has God-parents. However, with some recent family changes, the person has changed. We take God Parents to mean, "You are who we are entrusting him to if we should die..." It was my cousin, but he recently adopted a daughter and now has his hands full. It is now my cousin who was my matron of honor, like a sister to me and her husband. They have two young boys (5 and 2). They all understand and appreciated the change.
Yes, our kids will have godparents. We are Catholic and we think it's a great tradition. I know plenty of people who aren't Catholic who choose godparents as well.
We're not religious at all. I was growing up but have recently strayed from all the nonsense (sorry if i offend anyone). Anyway, we do plan on writing wills to include who will have custody of our children. But we won't baptize them or anything like that.
Maybe you could explain to YH you want to do it because of your heritage not because of religion.
Ours will not. I grew up without a religious background and DH grew up catholic, but has grown to be more agnostic.
Traditionally Godparents are basically responsible for ensuring the child's religious education is carried out, and for caring for the child if something happened to the parents. But anymore, Godparents are more of an extra special "aunt" or "uncle"
I already explained to him that we're not doing it for religious reasons since neither of us is Catholic. We're doing it because is my tradition and he can't take that away from me. He just shrug his shoulders, my little supportive husband
God parents are not something I grew up with. My family is very religious, but not Catholic. There is no tradition of god parents in my family. However, I am not sure what DH thinks. It is something we will have to talk about. I will have to get his opinion on this issue.
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
It is interesting that you bring this up. I was going to ask a similar question. Something like, Will the God parents of your kids be someone who takes their faith seriously and can be a role model to your child religiously, or just some person that is close to you.
I want my childrent o have God parents, but I think it would cause I problem b/w my and DH's family. He has two brothers and I know he would want them to be the god parents, but neither of them go to church at all. I do not want that. So this is a dilemma to us as well.
I would say you need to explain to DH how much this means to you.
BTW- Its not only the Catholic religion that has godparents. I'm am Lutheran and we have godparents. I was recently at a friend's child's baptism at a Presbyterian (sp?) church and they had godparents also.
Our problem comes with the fact that I'm Catholic and hes Lutheran. If we baptize in the Catholic faith the Godparents if married (as all possibilities are) the marriage has to have been witnessed by a Catholic priest (which non have been). We can get an exception granted by the Archbishop, but I'm not sure what requirements are needed for an exception.
If anyone knows I would love to know!
Funny you ask this today because last night my SIL forgave me for not including them in whether or not we are TTC and just asked if she and her hubs could be Godparents when the blessed event happen. I explained this to her and she is not talking to me again
Bug has a godmother - my best friend. However, we have been at odd's over a god father and apparently everything that DH has read on the subject is that a child only has a god mom or god dad.
He wants his brother, who doesn't even believe in a higher power, and I would like his bff who very much believes in God and comes from a very spiritual family.
It's important to me that our kids have one or the other, so right now they have a God Mom
Yes, and DD does. It was a given that we were going to Baptise our children and so we had to choose Godparents. We aren't religious either, but it was still important to us. Also, the Godparents are not who will take care of DD if something should happen to us. That is someone else designated in our will.
Since we plan to have the godparents be people who can guide/inspire in a religious sense, we plan to pick people who are also practicing Catholics. I also think we will pick friends b/c our sisters already have a special bond. In fact, we haven't talked about it recently, but I think I know who we will pick for our first child.
**** TW - kids and loss mentioned **** ~~ married 8.11.07 ~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~ ~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~ ~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC ~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
Our problem comes with the fact that I'm Catholic and hes Lutheran. If we baptize in the Catholic faith the Godparents if married (as all possibilities are) the marriage has to have been witnessed by a Catholic priest (which non have been). We can get an exception granted by the Archbishop, but I'm not sure what requirements are needed for an exception.
If anyone knows I would love to know!
I don't understand this... you can pick godparents that aren't married... i think as long as one of the godparents is 'in good standing' with the Church (meaning they belong to a parish, attend regularly, etc) it doesn't matter.
**** TW - kids and loss mentioned **** ~~ married 8.11.07 ~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~ ~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~ ~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC ~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
My (atheist) vote is no, and H's (agnostic) vote is leaning no, too. But H was raised first as a Catholic and later as an Episcopalian, and his parents are elders in the church, so I have a feeling that they're going to try to push us into godparents.
We've already had...discussions...with them about baptism....
Our problem comes with the fact that I'm Catholic and hes Lutheran. If we baptize in the Catholic faith the Godparents if married (as all possibilities are) the marriage has to have been witnessed by a Catholic priest (which non have been). We can get an exception granted by the Archbishop, but I'm not sure what requirements are needed for an exception.
If anyone knows I would love to know!
I don't understand this... you can pick godparents that aren't married... i think as long as one of the godparents is 'in good standing' with the Church (meaning they belong to a parish, attend regularly, etc) it doesn't matter.
Yes we can pick Godparents that are not married, which would eliminate the church's issue but create war in the family. All of our siblings, save for 2, are married. I could not choose friends over our sisters and brothers.
Our problem comes with the fact that I'm Catholic and hes Lutheran. If we baptize in the Catholic faith the Godparents if married (as all possibilities are) the marriage has to have been witnessed by a Catholic priest (which non have been). We can get an exception granted by the Archbishop, but I'm not sure what requirements are needed for an exception.
If anyone knows I would love to know!
Funny you ask this today because last night my SIL forgave me for not including them in whether or not we are TTC and just asked if she and her hubs could be Godparents when the blessed event happen. I explained this to her and she is not talking to me again
I have a similar dilemma. I have another cousin who is also close to me but now as close as the one I choose for Godmother. This other cousin, our mothers are sisters and her mom is my godmother, my mom is her godmother, so she always assumed that I would be the godmother of her first child and she'd be the godmoother of mine. Well the problem I have with this is that I barely see her because she lives in Switzerland.
I want my kid to be able to interact with his/her godparents, you know? So I know that when it comes time to announce the godparents, she'll be extremely offended and hurt.
Our problem comes with the fact that I'm Catholic and hes Lutheran. If we baptize in the Catholic faith the Godparents if married (as all possibilities are) the marriage has to have been witnessed by a Catholic priest (which non have been). We can get an exception granted by the Archbishop, but I'm not sure what requirements are needed for an exception.
If anyone knows I would love to know!
Funny you ask this today because last night my SIL forgave me for not including them in whether or not we are TTC and just asked if she and her hubs could be Godparents when the blessed event happen. I explained this to her and she is not talking to me again
I have a similar dilemma. I have another cousin who is also close to me but now as close as the one I choose for Godmother. This other cousin, our mothers are sisters and her mom is my godmother, my mom is her godmother, so she always assumed that I would be the godmother of her first child and she'd be the godmoother of mine. Well the problem I have with this is that I barely see her because she lives in Switzerland.
I want my kid to be able to interact with his/her godparents, you know? So I know that when it comes time to announce the godparents, she'll be extremely offended and hurt.
I see your dilema but also understand your decision. In my mind it is something that she will have to learn to understand. You have a very valid point in wanting your Godparents to be part of your childs life. I saw and spoke to my Godmother for the first time in 10 years this month.
The role of a Godparent has very vague lines and most in my family are not really all that involved and were choosen as a tradition rather than to have an active partipation. That being said the realtionship with your child and this person should go beyond the day of christening.
Hey there Mey.. I am hispanic too and my Dh is white..so he doenst understand alot of the traditions I have grown up with either.. but yes, I will have Godparents for our child.. whenever he decides to come..
We can get an exception granted by the Archbishop, but I'm not sure what requirements are needed for an exception.
If anyone knows I would love to know!
Your parish priest should know the requirements. (I guess I never knew you needed an exception in this case.)
Neither did I! I'm not really going to look further into it until it becomes an actual issue we need to figure out. We are not active church goers and I was just curious as to the different Baptism requirements for each of our churches, which is how I learned this.
I don't know if its across the board or just in my parish
Godparents are a big part of my family. I am godmother to three of my neices/nephews. And to be baptised they need them...so they will absolutely have them
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I was raised in the Catholic church, and later went to Lutheran. I stopped practicing religion when I was 18. DH has never even stepped inside a church. He is uncomfortable with baptizing our child when we dont practice religion, but wants our child to have godparents (that we have already picked).
He did some research and came up with a "naming ceremony". Where we'll have a party of some sort at the house and the godparents that we choose will stand up in front of everyone and give the child a blessing and promise to help guide and support the child. He said its a way to recognize the people that we WOULD be the godparents without actually doing it in a church.
While I feel a desire to follow tradition, the idea is growing on me.
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
We are practicing Catholics, so Yes, we will have Godparents.
I was raised Southern Baptist, and thus never had them growing up. I felt like I was missing out somehow when others mentioned their Godparents. When I converted I asked an Aunt & Uncle to become my Godparents, even though I didn't need them to at the age of 27.
Re: Will your kids have godparents?
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
BFP #1 11/28/09 ~ EDD 8/6/10 ~ DS Born 8/9/10
BFP #2 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/8/14 ~ Natural MC 9/18/13 at 6 weeks, 6 days
BFP#3 3/28/14 ~ EDD 12/7/14 ~ DD Born 11/21/14
BFP#4 6/15/17 ~ EDD 2/20/18
We're atheists, so having godparents doesn't make a whole lot of sense for us. We have written in our wills who we would like to have custody of our children should something happen to both of us.
Even if your husband doesn't see the purpose, I see no harm in having them if it's important to you. You should definitely choose them yourself since you're the one it's important to.
Carina 12.28.2010 | Aurelia 9.23.12 | Chart - Round 3
yes, we are practicing Catholics, so our children will be baptized and have godparents... not sure who yet, guess we'll figure that out when its time.
The godparents will likely be different than the guardians of our children as written in our will.
~~ married 8.11.07
~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
We're not religious at all. I was growing up but have recently strayed from all the nonsense (sorry if i offend anyone). Anyway, we do plan on writing wills to include who will have custody of our children. But we won't baptize them or anything like that.
My Chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/28017b
TTC #1- 3 failed rounds of Clomid/ Surprise Natural BFP w/weight loss- 9/22/11 DD 5/12
DX. Dec '09 w/ Inappropriate LH Secretion Syndrom/PCOS/ Anov 28 months
(Former username: xxbblueangelxx)
Ours will not. I grew up without a religious background and DH grew up catholic, but has grown to be more agnostic.
Traditionally Godparents are basically responsible for ensuring the child's religious education is carried out, and for caring for the child if something happened to the parents. But anymore, Godparents are more of an extra special "aunt" or "uncle"
I never took Godparents as the guardians of your child(ren) in the event of your passing. And we had them growing up.
No, we won't be having Godparents b/c we aren't very religious. We will name guardians in a will when the time comes.
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
TTC#2: Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.
IVF #4: BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #5: MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #6: (New RE): Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN
FET#1: BFN
Our DD doesn't have godparents. We do have outlined in our will who would take of DD if something ever happened to both of us but that is about it.
It is interesting that you bring this up. I was going to ask a similar question. Something like, Will the God parents of your kids be someone who takes their faith seriously and can be a role model to your child religiously, or just some person that is close to you.
I want my childrent o have God parents, but I think it would cause I problem b/w my and DH's family. He has two brothers and I know he would want them to be the god parents, but neither of them go to church at all. I do not want that. So this is a dilemma to us as well.
I would say you need to explain to DH how much this means to you.
Yes.
BTW- Its not only the Catholic religion that has godparents. I'm am Lutheran and we have godparents. I was recently at a friend's child's baptism at a Presbyterian (sp?) church and they had godparents also.
Ours will. Because we are baptizing/christening.
Our problem comes with the fact that I'm Catholic and hes Lutheran. If we baptize in the Catholic faith the Godparents if married (as all possibilities are) the marriage has to have been witnessed by a Catholic priest (which non have been). We can get an exception granted by the Archbishop, but I'm not sure what requirements are needed for an exception.
If anyone knows I would love to know!
Funny you ask this today because last night my SIL forgave me for not including them in whether or not we are TTC and just asked if she and her hubs could be Godparents when the blessed event happen. I explained this to her and she is not talking to me again
Bug has a godmother - my best friend. However, we have been at odd's over a god father and apparently everything that DH has read on the subject is that a child only has a god mom or god dad.
He wants his brother, who doesn't even believe in a higher power, and I would like his bff who very much believes in God and comes from a very spiritual family.
It's important to me that our kids have one or the other, so right now they have a God Mom
~~ married 8.11.07
~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
I don't understand this... you can pick godparents that aren't married... i think as long as one of the godparents is 'in good standing' with the Church (meaning they belong to a parish, attend regularly, etc) it doesn't matter.
~~ married 8.11.07
~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
My BFP Chart
My (atheist) vote is no, and H's (agnostic) vote is leaning no, too. But H was raised first as a Catholic and later as an Episcopalian, and his parents are elders in the church, so I have a feeling that they're going to try to push us into godparents.
We've already had...discussions...with them about baptism....
Your parish priest should know the requirements. (I guess I never knew you needed an exception in this case.)
Yes we can pick Godparents that are not married, which would eliminate the church's issue but create war in the family. All of our siblings, save for 2, are married. I could not choose friends over our sisters and brothers.
I have a similar dilemma. I have another cousin who is also close to me but now as close as the one I choose for Godmother. This other cousin, our mothers are sisters and her mom is my godmother, my mom is her godmother, so she always assumed that I would be the godmother of her first child and she'd be the godmoother of mine. Well the problem I have with this is that I barely see her because she lives in Switzerland.
I want my kid to be able to interact with his/her godparents, you know? So I know that when it comes time to announce the godparents, she'll be extremely offended and hurt.
that is funny that you mention it because it's been a topic at our house this week.
our friends asked us to be their daughter's godparents and we are so excited and honored! we already have godparents picked out for when we have kids.
my parents aren't catholic but i have godparents.
same here
I see your dilema but also understand your decision. In my mind it is something that she will have to learn to understand. You have a very valid point in wanting your Godparents to be part of your childs life. I saw and spoke to my Godmother for the first time in 10 years this month.
The role of a Godparent has very vague lines and most in my family are not really all that involved and were choosen as a tradition rather than to have an active partipation. That being said the realtionship with your child and this person should go beyond the day of christening.
Hey there Mey.. I am hispanic too and my Dh is white..so he doenst understand alot of the traditions I have grown up with either.. but yes, I will have Godparents for our child.. whenever he decides to come..
Neither did I! I'm not really going to look further into it until it becomes an actual issue we need to figure out. We are not active church goers and I was just curious as to the different Baptism requirements for each of our churches, which is how I learned this.
I don't know if its across the board or just in my parish
I was raised in the Catholic church, and later went to Lutheran. I stopped practicing religion when I was 18. DH has never even stepped inside a church. He is uncomfortable with baptizing our child when we dont practice religion, but wants our child to have godparents (that we have already picked).
He did some research and came up with a "naming ceremony". Where we'll have a party of some sort at the house and the godparents that we choose will stand up in front of everyone and give the child a blessing and promise to help guide and support the child. He said its a way to recognize the people that we WOULD be the godparents without actually doing it in a church.
While I feel a desire to follow tradition, the idea is growing on me.
Cooper+Evie=Soulmates
We are practicing Catholics, so Yes, we will have Godparents.
I was raised Southern Baptist, and thus never had them growing up. I felt like I was missing out somehow when others mentioned their Godparents. When I converted I asked an Aunt & Uncle to become my Godparents, even though I didn't need them to at the age of 27.