1st Trimester
Options
Leaving the Bump.
Hey guys.
After long thought i have decided to leave the bump. I can no longer take the depression of all these women losing their babies. It is truly making me depressed and scared for the safety of my own. I hope you all understand and i hope you all have a happy and healthy 9 Months.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Leaving the Bump.
With #1, I moved to second tri early at 11w. It's a lot happier over there.
Best of luck to you.
Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14
ditto. you can't let it bring you down and worry too much about it.
What they said.
Bloggin' It
I completely understand what you are saying, but I think the benefits outweigh the negatives. Its tough to hear about people having m/c, especially when they are around the same EDD as you. Try to hang in there and Jenni's suggestion was a great one. Try to keep your chin up.
Reading about an April loss today really saddened me this morning and put things in perspective. We need to cherish and celebrate these moments. We complain - we are pregnant women - its basically expected, but reading about the m/c only encourages me to remain faithful.
I felt like that the past two weeks. And then I read someone's post and it helped a lot. I wish I could remember what it was, but do what's best for you. Or start lurking on 2nd tri.
Good luck, you'll be missed.
I'm sorry. I have to totally agree with this. This post takes the attention away from where it should be - on the women who have lost their children.
Loss is a part of this, whatever board you go to. I do not say that to frighten you or anyone else. It is the horrible reality, and if it really bothers you this much, than perhaps you should stay away from a pregnancy message board all together.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck with your pregnancy.
Same here, please don't go. Just because it happens to somebody else doesn't mean the same thing is going to happen to you. We're here for support, good times and bad. Try to stick it out or move over to 2nd Tri.
Wow, just wow. I pray that you never go through a loss because it's 10 times worse then just worrying about it. If you can't handle reading about them, you definitely are too weak to deal with it.
FYI, pregnancy loss is a real thing and happens in all stages of pregnancy. How about instead of letting m/cs scare you, be thankful that you are pregnant.
Very true.
Also, to the pp who said it's only a few out of hundreds. It's 25%. it's 25 women out of 100. I don't say this to scare anyone, really, but I was completely clueless and thought it could never happen to me, it's good to know the actual #'s.
Agreed!!! Thanks for posting this.
I completely disagree with this. I think the OP is voicing something that a lot of us on here are feeling. Of course we know that having a loss is way harder than reading about other people's, but it's really awful to be reminded of what could happen a few times a day. I've thought about not coming on here because of this also and I just try to avoid the m/c posts now b/c I know they are bad for me.
OP, thank you for voicing this. It feels good to know that I'm not the only one!
I think you are a jacka$$ for even saying such a thing. Good Riddance!
Maybe you need to step back and think about how all those women feel after losing their children. The world does not revolve around you or your lack of sensitivity to such a terrible loss.
It is trash like you that keeps the door closed on miscarriages and infant loss awareness... Again, GOOD RIDDANCE!!!
Yes, the awful part is you being reminded that a loss can happen. Not that this woman has lost her baby. These posts will always be a part of ALL the boards. If you can't stand to face that, then agreed, stay away.
This. You think its hard for you to read about other peoples losses while pregnant? Try being pregnant after a loss. Think before you speak.
Instead of avoiding the m/c posts, why don't you lend a little support. A "I'm so sorry" or even simply (((hugs))). It's so bad for YOU? GO THROUGH IT! You want support when you don't feel good, when you are puking your guts up or when you are exhausted because first tri is so rough. Well support the women going through a loss as well.
These posts are selfish. I'm sorry, but they are. Deal with it, it's a reality. People lose babies. And if you think you are safe going to 2nd or 3rd tri boards, you are wrong. Sadly, loss occurs on those boards as well.
Seriously.... "I know they are bad for me"???? Bad for you? Lend a freaking sympathetic ear and pray that it never happens to you.
Wow, seriously surprised at all the hate posts when the OP posted some completely legit feelings. I think some of you need to take a few deep breaths.
Of course the worst part is for the women who actually miscarried. That is absolutely awful and my heart goes out to those woman. It's so awful that we don't want to think about the possibility of it happening to us and these posts remind us how common it is.
No one is is saying that is worse to read about it than actually go through it. We're are just saying it's not good for us to read about b/c it freaks us out. Someone offered the good suggestion that she move to the 2nd tri. That is a much better response than some of the hate and anger coming from some of you.
I am truly (I mean this, I really do) glad that you can't fathom the pain, the heartache, and the place of pure hell where that "hate and anger" is coming from. I pray you never know what this feels like.
There are losses on 2nd Trimester as well. That is reality. Posting "poor me, I'm leaving the Bump now" is AW in the worst way.
HERE HERE! I am sick of women thinking its a taboo subject. You need to learn to deal!
The anger is coming from us because WE HAVE ALL LOST BABIES! Get it? We've been there. Gone through the hell of it all. So to say "I'm leaving cause it's so upsetting..." wtf? Just leave, but don't be an AW and SAY IT! What about the women just starting to go through it who read her saying she is leaving because of it? Now they have to feel even worse because they upset someone? FOR REAL????
Look, I'm happy you guys don't know what it's like. TRULY. My baby was due today. See that? TODAY. Back in April I had just moved to the 2nd tri board and had to post my loss. I got tons of support from 1st and 2nd tri. If I had of seen someone post an AW post about how they were leaving because of MY LOSS I would have felt even worse in an already horrible, devestating, heart breaking, crushing moment in my life. So suck it and just leave if you don't want to hear about it. But if you stay, don't say crap like this. It just makes us who have losses feel bad for talking about them.
Agreed!! It's not hate that we are portraying, it's a lack of sympathy towards someone complaining about other people's losses being too hard for them! It was a very unnecessary post.
It is good for you to be aware that miscarriage happens. Believe me, it's a lot harder when you don't know that it could happen to a normal healthy woman, and then it does.
What infuriates people about the OP's attitude, and yours, is that women who have had losses are "shushed" by our culture and we're tired of being told to shut up because we are bumming people out. We didn't do anything to deserve losing a baby, yet we are shamed for it. Would you tell someone whose mother or sister died to just keep it to herself because it's too depressing for other people to hear about it? Have some compassion.
Posting legit concerns is one thing. An AW "I'm leaving The Bump because reading about miscarriages are bad for me" is a whole 'nother.
Sack up and realise that loss happens or leave. Don't come on here looking for a pitty party because you can't handle the sad posts. Real life isn't puppies and rainbows, but if you want to live in that bubble where everything is, you are better off not being here. I for one would rather have some realistic knowledge of what could happen. Maybe I should go make a new thread about how I'm sticking around so everyone can fawn all over me.
Hate and anger? You have no IDEA how much restraint these ladies are showing right now.
This.
I would hate to think that if I suffered another miscarriage, it would upset someone else who was still carrying a healthy baby. And didn't you know, if you read about someone elses miscarriage, you are automatically at increased risk of having one? ???
Yes, it's a scary reality. But miscarriages aren't contagious, you know. It's pretty obvious from the titles of the posts when someone has had a m/c. Don't read them. Women who have m/c feel like sh!t. A post like this will make them feel sh!ttier. Just sayin'.
This 100%. I would have felt so much more horrible if I had read a post like the OP after my m/c. It is completely insensitive for you to post something like this. I don't dispute the validity of your feelings, but can you climb down from your high horse for just a moment to think how comments like these might affect the woman who has lost her baby? I assure you whatever you are feeling pales in comparison to the complete anguish she is experiencing right now. How about having some humility and biting your tongue for the sake of not making things more difficult for someone who's going through total hell right now?
If the posts bother you that much, stick with your originial plan and stay far far away from the bump. And as one of the posters above said, good riddance!!!
This exactly. You are adding to the taboo and shame that we aren't allowed to talk about our miscarriages because we could upset someone. This is real, it happens in 1 out of 4 pregnancies, you can't hide your head in the sand and pretend it doesn't happen. 1 in 4! Why should we have to hide our sorrow? My baby died and I will always think of her and miss her and keep this pain in my heart. I hope you never know the same.
I'm glad you pointed this out. It is far more common then any of us want to believe.
I agree- Many of us have experienced loss and I think that it is sad that you are being so insensitive. I understand about not wanting to get freaked out, but loss is reality.
1st pregnancy: m/c began 1/12/09 d&c 1/13/09 8wks. Baby stopped growing at about 6wks.
Delaney: Born 10/15/09
Gavin: Born 4/8/11
Baby #3: due July 10, 2014