I'm afraid I'm going to have to switch to formula
jen_and_scott
member
I have a chronic pain disorder that has finally returned. I have a doctor appointment (rheumatologist) next Wednesday. He'll run blood tests again. He was looking for Lupus before I got pregnant, so he'll probably run that panel too. Basically, we'll be looking for the blood results to confirm an increase in inflamation at which point he will put me on medication.
Sadly, and I'm almost crying just typing this out, this will be the end of me nursing my baby girl. My goal was a year, and it looks like I've only made it to 6mo. I feel like my body is failing me. Logically, I always knew it was an option. In my heart, I made it so long without any pain at all. I wish I could say I can just tough it out, but I know my body and I know that if I let this go untreated it will only get worse. I know that formula is not poison, Scott and I were both on it as babies, but I also really wanted to give her breastmilk til she was 1. Scott has terrible allergies and I have lots of stomach issues, so I was hoping to help prevent those.
I'm really sad about it, dreading my appointment. At the same time, when my arm and calf are throbbing and burning, I'm ready for medicine.
I'm just really sad.
Natalie Kate - October 4, 2011
Blighted ovum, d&c at 9w, July 2012
Blighted ovum, d&c at 10w, September 2013
BFP May 28, EDD February 4, 2015
Re: I'm afraid I'm going to have to switch to formula
You did an awesome job! 6 months is amazing.
I understand how you are feeling. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. It was so bad before I got pregnant and I'm waiting for it to come back. When I was pregnant I didn't think I would want to BF so I secretly hoped that I would get a flare up and that would take the guilt away from not nursing.
I would be upset if I had to stop now too. I am so sorry. Just remember you did an awesome job. You need to take care of yourself. That beautiful baby needs a momma that isn't in pain and can play with her. That's most important.
Really? Because I think you are.
As a kid, weren't you sad when Christmas was over? How about the summer? Did you enjoy going to the doctor to get shots? You knew all of that was going to happen at some point. That's how I feel.
Natalie Kate - October 4, 2011
Blighted ovum, d&c at 9w, July 2012
Blighted ovum, d&c at 10w, September 2013
BFP May 28, EDD February 4, 2015
I have fibromyalgia. The doc is looking for lupus also. I wish none of this stuff, RA included, existed. I hope that you dont' have any flare ups for a long time!!
Natalie Kate - October 4, 2011
Blighted ovum, d&c at 9w, July 2012
Blighted ovum, d&c at 10w, September 2013
BFP May 28, EDD February 4, 2015
Wow. That was pretty craptastic.
I'm so sorry to hear of this. I know I'll be upset when I wean my DS as well. As many of the pps have said though, 6 months is definitely an accomplishment, & your LO's tummy is much more mature now.
Good job & good luck!
Thanks, Jen! I'm so sorry you have to be in pain. I hope the meds work quickly and that you are feeling better soon. If your daughter could talk, I'm sure she would tell you that she would rather have a mommy that feels good to play with. That angry face she is making is in your siggy is because she's saying "Mom, I'm fine...stop worrying about me!!!"
Congrats on making it to 6 months! I know how hard it is to make that decision to stop breastfeeding. It's that one bond you have with your LO that no one else has - before it was the bond during pregnancy that no one had. You are right, formula is not poision, but it makes you feel so guilty not being able to give them what nature intended.
I only made it 2.5 months with my first baby, 4.5 months with my second. I am now at the 4.5 month mark and praying I can make it to at least 6 months, but I am just taking it day by day.
Good luck with your appointment. I hope the drs can give you some relief so you can enjoy some pain free days with your LO.
I know this feeling all too well. I had to stop breastfeeding after only 6 weeks due to DD's sensitivity to everything I was eating. It was a very sad time for me when I had to dry up my milk. But DD is doing much better on formula, and it's great to have DH's help with feedings.
Hang in there.
Congratulations on your BFing success!! Know that you tried, and were successfull for a whole 6 months. That is an accomplishment. 6 months of BM is better than none! FWIW, after 6 months, they don't make as good of use of our immunities as they used too anyway..
I was in a similar boat a month ago, and formula isn't that bad. My supply tanked and I supplemented but gradually made the switch over. DS is happier, I'm happier, so it was worth it. (BFing got frustrating for the both of us.)
I know it's upsetting, and a kick to the ego, I was disappointed in myself too. But you need to take care of yourself also. If your happier/healthier, your DD will be happier/healthier. It's okay to feel down about it, don't let anyone tell you otherwise... it will get easier once you wrap your head around the idea.
I am so sorry to hear that. I know it probably doesn't help to hear this but 6 months is amazing.
I have Crohn's disease that has flared since I had Conor. I'm terrified it will mean I have to start back on immunosuppressants, which means the end of breastfeeding. I know what you mean about feeling like your body failed you, and wanting to just tough it out but knowing that only means you could get worse and that would be an ever worse outcome for your baby.
I hope by some miracle your doctor's appt. goes better than you expect and your pain goes away. If not, I hope you're able to get some relief with the meds.