Um, friends?
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I was talking to a friend today and she'd mentioned how pacifiers were a complete life (and mind) saver when she had her LO. I told her my fiance and I aren't planning on using them all the time, just when we're on the phone and for whatever reason can't leave the baby and she says we're making a big mistake. All I said was "I just don't think they should be used excessively, its just another thing we'll have to break them from later if we do" and she went off on me saying I called her a bad mother. Then when I sat there with a look on my face like "where the heck did that come from?" she started saying I was looking at her like she was stupid or something. I just kind of wrote it off because she's pregnant too so it might have just been hormones.
We believe its not a mistake in doing that because we've done it successfully 4 times already with our foster kids and all of them were born drug addicted and had special medical needs when we got them.
So what're your opinions on pacifiers? When should or shouldn't they be used?
Re: Um, friends?
RSVP Date: 2/28/2011
I've seen it go both ways. My brother was really attached to his to the point where he started hiding his throughout the house so you couldn't take it away. He would then go back to where he hid it and suck on it when he could get away with it. My mom, to this day, moves furniture and finds "binkies". My brother is 19.
On the other side of the coin, though, is my neighbor. Her parents did not give her a pacifier in fear that it would be hard to wean her off. She took to sucking her index, middle, and ring fingers at the same time instead. This is a habit that followed her through elementary school all the way through high school.
That said, I will use a pacifier for this child, but I will not rely on it.
You might want to do a little research of your own. Times and studies have changed since your mom's time of raising kids.
First off, using a pacifier has been linked to a reduced risk of SIDS.
Second, the sucking helps them to be soothed. Trying reading Happiest Baby on The Block for more on this issue.
Third, unless the child is using the pacifier for years and years (say past the age of 2), there is no link to needing braces or speech issues because of pacifier use. My background is in speech therapy, so I've have a few classes on anatomy (and several specifically focused on the A&P of the speech mechanism) and know how language/speech develops.
With Riley I would say, oh I am never using paci's, nipple confusion blah blah blah but after she started using my effing nipple to comfort suck I threw all my pre concieved notions out the window and popped that paci in and I haven't looked back. We had no issues and nursed successfully until about 17 months.
She's now 19 months and clearly understands that her paci is for sleeping only. We taught her to take it out of her mouth and leave it in her crib when she wakes up. It's actually really cute when she's up and wants out of her crib she does a very dramatic removal of the paci and throws it down. It's hilarious
LOL, talk to me when your baby is 6 months old and we'll see if you are still singing this song
I knew a woman who could not break her kid of her pacifier. I think the baby might have been 3 or older...Anyways, the mom got the Dr. at her kids next visit to do/say something about the pacifier. As soon as the Dr. walked in...he took the pacifier out of her mouth and threw it in the trash bin and said that it was bid and the little girl never once cried or needed it from that day forward.
I haven't decided what I will do about pacifiers. I really hope my baby doesn't care for them but I am just tryting to stay open minded. I don't want to use them all the time for sure.
I'm not a pacifer fan, but I can see why she got defensive. After she told you she used something all the time, you told her why you would never use what she did.
Its fine to tell her, of course, but moms are judged all.the.time and therefore its easy to get defensive about it. I personally would have simply said "we are going to try to not use them but we'll see how it goes." End of story.
I am not really a big fan of pacifiers. I don't think they are very good for a babys developing jaw and teeth. I don't think I will be inclined to give my child a pacifier just to keep them quiet. By having a child be dependent on a pacifier I see huge problems when you try to get rid of it. Not to mention if a new baby is brought into the home after the weaning is done. The older child will see that a the chance to get the pacifier back and be treated like a baby again. This is not a good situation in my eyes.
We will be using a pacifer just not excessively. I never took a pacifer but DH sucked his fingers. I think weaning a child from sucking on their fingers would be much more difficult than weaning them from a pacifer. I didn't take a pacifer or suck on my fingers, but I was extremely hard to wean from the bottle according to everyone in my family, so I figure my work is cut out for me either way.