1st Trimester

Pay to attend baby shower?

I just received an invite to a baby shower that will be at a banquet hall. It says to RSVP and return $20.00 per person to the host. I know the purpose is to cover the cost of the banquet hall, food, etc. However, the idea just seems so tacky. Is it just me? What do you all think?  

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Re: Pay to attend baby shower?

  • Tacky. Esp. since you will be taking a gift as well.
  • no way would i go ... i would not want anyone to have to pay to go to my baby shower ... that's ridiculous!
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  • That is WRONG.  Sooooooo wrong.  If the hostess couldn't afford the banquet hall, she should have chosen an affordable venue.
  • WHAT?! Heck no! I'd skip it and just mail the mama-to-be her gift. I would also probably call thehostess and tell ehr how tacky that is, HOSTING means you eat the bill.
  • Tacky to me.  If you cannot afford to throw someone a baby shower, then either don't do it or do it somewhere cheaper or go in with one or two people.  You don't tell people when they are invited that they must pay their way.  How insulting.
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  • Extremely tacky, I got an invite once to a monetary bridal shower...seriously?? I would be so embarassed
  • If I were you, I would RSVP yes, but don't send a penny to the hostess. 
  • imageCapitolBaby:
    That is WRONG.  Sooooooo wrong.  If the hostess couldn't afford the banquet hall, she should have chosen an affordable venue.

    This exactly!  There is no way someone should charge you for attending a shower!

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  • I'm going to go with tacky.  Maybe if it was like $5, i'd be less surprised...but $20?  Seems a little much to me.  If the shower were for me, I'd rather have it somewhere cheaper than to ask guests for money!

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  • Very tacky!  If you have to ask for money, you should have it at someone's house instead.
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  • I am so glad I am not alone in my thoughts!!! Such a turn off!!!! 
  • I've personally never received a request for money to attend a baby shower.  Seems a little odd to me since I always thought that whoever was throwing the baby shower would be handling all of that, much like if you were to throw a birthday party... you wouldn't be charging people admission, would you?  I guess unless it was talked about ahead of time and everyone liked the idea of having it at that particular venue??? 
  • Umm if the host gets $20, the person they are showering isn't getting a gift. Sorry but Tacky on so many levels!
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  • Wow, talk about a turn off. That is extremely tacky. The hostess shouldn't have chosen a banquet hall if she couldn't afford it. A shower is something you offer to do, you don't charge the guests for coming. Especially since it's a shower and so a gift is expected.
  • imageCapitolBaby:
    That is WRONG.  Sooooooo wrong.  If the hostess couldn't afford the banquet hall, she should have chosen an affordable venue.

    Yes i would be so embarrassed if that were my baby shower.

  • Super tacky!!! I would be awfully embarresed if that shower was being thrown for me!
  • Very tacky.  I wouldn't go.
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  • OMG so so so tacky.  I've never even heard of that.  If she couldn't afford to throw a shower she shouldn't have offered or should have picked a cheaper option. 
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  • I have never heard of this!  I totally think it's tacky...  Depending on how close I was to the mom to be would dictate my decision.

    If it was best friend, I would suck it up and pay, just because it's not her fault her "host" is a moron...  (edit: I would pay and go if it were a surprise shower and my friend didn't know that her "host" was a moron...)

    If I wasn't that close to the mom to be, I would most likely just send a gift.

  • I wonder if the bride knew the hostess was going to do that? 

    The hostess probably thinks she'll get all this $$ back, but little does she know half of the people won't show at all because of the level of tackiness.

  • This beats anything I've ever heard about a baby shower - TACKIEST TACKY EVER!
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  • I suggest mailing a gift.  I would NEVER pay to attend a baby shower when I'm also expected to give a gift.
  • Wow, I think that is super tacky.  I have never heard of such a thing.  Never would I ever think of doing that!
  • imagemfransdell:
    WHAT?! Heck no! I'd skip it and just mail the mama-to-be her gift. I would also probably call thehostess and tell ehr how tacky that is, HOSTING means you eat the bill.

    Knowing myself...I'd probably call the hostess and give her a piece of my mind as well.  lol

  • O.M.G - you can't do that!!!  That is beyond tacky.  I don't know what I'd do.  I'm leaning towards thinking I would decline out of principal but I'd feel bad for the guest of honor.   Especially around here since they are done as surprise showers and would likely not know about the cost being passed on to the guests.  If she didn't know I'd go but I'd talk viciously about the host(s)... LOL. 

    But, if she does know there is a "cover charge" I'd decline the invitation.  If you can't afford to have the shower at the place you are then scale back who you invite or have it at a house.  It's never ok to ask the guests to chip in.  Wow. 
  • VERY tacky!  I would decline and send a gift. 
  • Oh hellll no. If you go, I wouldn't send any money. I wonder if the mom-to-be knows her hostess is pulling that?? I'd be so embarrassed.
  • Ew. Tacky. I wouldn't go.

     

  • Wrong wrong wrong.

    I'd much rather go to a free shower in a home (or at a park, or a teahouse, or at church, or at a home previously inhabited by smoker with cats) with few decorations, homemade food (or hell, no food) to celebrate a friend, rather than pay to go a nice place.  Lame.


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  • Kie310Kie310 member
    Wow. Very tacky. I would not be going & just sending a gift directly to the mommy-to-be
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  • Yeah i think that is extremely tacky. If whoever is throwing the babyshower could  not afford  a really fancy one then why go all out??? In that case they should of done it at someones house or something where you dont have to bill your guest to go.
  • This is extremely tacky.  If you can't afford to host the shower, change venues.  I wouldn't even go.  I'd just mail the guest of honor her gift.
  • So tacky-like asking people to pay per head at a wedding!
  • No, the mom to be and I are NOT close. She married one of my DH's good friends. Plus, her sister is the host so she knows about the "fee"! Plus, I live over an hour away. The shower is in Miami and I am in WPB. I think I will just send a gift. 
  • Way beyond tacky...just plain wrong!  If you can't afford to throw a shower at a hall/restaurant then don't.  Have it at a park or someone's home and keep the food, dirnks and decor simple - nothing wrong with that.  NEVER solicit money from guests.

    I would absolutely not go and just send a gift directly to the mom-to-be.

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  • I would be mortified if that was my shower. The hostess has bounded over the line of what is acceptable. I would decline and send the mom a gift and let her know you couldn't do both a gift and $20.
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  • This takes tackiness to a whole new level.
  • ctanactana member

    There are NO WORDS to express the level of tackiness.

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  • imagemfransdell:
    WHAT?! Heck no! I'd skip it and just mail the mama-to-be her gift. I would also probably call thehostess and tell ehr how tacky that is, HOSTING means you eat the bill.

    This!

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  • Completely tacky!  You don't invite people to a party then charge them, no matter what the party is for!  It's even worse for a shower since gifts are implied as well!
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