3rd Trimester

s/o drinking alcohol around the LO

Will you have alcohol in the house? Do you or your spouse drink? How often? Do you have limits? Will you drink in front of your little one?

My DH and I drink. DH drinks with his dinner, and if he's relaxing during the day he'll drink while playing video games. Ive given up drinking until I stop nursing. 

But being that my dad is/was an alcoholic I hate having alcohol in the fridge, and I don't want my LO exposed to alcohol [i.e. asking to taste] at a young age.

Dh has a seperate fridge to keep his beers in, and thats our compromise, 

Re: s/o drinking alcohol around the LO

  • We rarely have alcohol in the house, but I don't have anything against.  I think that being a responsible example is better.  There's a big difference between having it in the house and getting drunk all the time. 
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  • We'll keep alcoholic beverages separate from everything else.

    There was NO alcohol in my house growing up. But I nannied for two years for a couple that were big drinkers. They kept a fridge in the garage with beer and liquor. The kids knew their boundaries and were not allowed in the fridge. I think at some point there was even a lock on it.

    There was also another couple that I sat for regularly that kept beer and liquor right next to their kid's juice boxes. This was bizarre to me. But they also hosted parties every weekend where adults would come over to drink and their kids were always present.

    It's just not a lifestyle I'm accustomed to.

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  • We do/will have alcohol in the house. DH is a beer drinker so it's always around and I'm sure he will drink but never will be even close to drunk around her. I know what you mean about asking to taste, and I've seen parents actually let their children have a sip (small children.. and it drives me NUTS), and needless to say I won't be doing that. I plan on doing it the same way my parents did.. They drank in front of me and my sister from time to time, but we understood it wasn't for us and never had a desire for it.
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  • that's like asking if i'll have water in my household.  yes, yes i most certainly will.  i think it's important to do anything in moderation and my husband and i both drink moderately.  i don't mind having alcohol in the house because i'll be sure to teach my daughter from the appropriate age what it is, how it can negatively affect you and how, like with anything else in life, you should respect it.  my parents had alcohol in the house, drank moderately and because alcohol was never kept a secret, i didn't drink untill college and even then i didn't go overboard (well, i had a few fun nights lol). 
  • If we have alcohol in the house, it was usually bought for a specific purpose, not just to drink whenever. Eg, if we planning a nice dinner we'll buy a bottle of wine, bring it home, and then drink it. We don't stock up on it, though. Sometimes we'll go out for drinks, and "drinks" usually means two each, max. We just don't have that kind of cash flow, lol.

    We prefer not to have alcohol in the house, DH has alcoholism in his family and has to make a conscious decision not to drink when he's down, or to cope, so having it in the house would make that a lot more difficult. We also want to practice not having tons in the house because we don't want our kidlet having easy access in the future.

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  • Husband isn't big on drinking.. a beer every few months mainly..

    I would probably only keep seasonal Abitas in the house if anything.. 

    Growing up both my parents drank, alot.. still do.. most of my family gets tetotaled drunk when they get together & I'm not a big fan of that..

    it was awkward when I was little.

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  • We will have alcohol in the house and the kid(s) will see us drink it (not be drunk though).  I don't want alcohol to be some big mystery that they discover at party.  DH & I will talk about alcohol with them, when the time is right.
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  • I come from an Irish (off the boat grandparents) family So my brother and I were exposed to a lot of drinking very young Ie: " put a lil whiskey on er gums for the teething" To "eh put a lil whiskey in er bottle to help er sleep" (jamesons was like penicilin in our family) LOL Alcohol in the house yes, kept VERY seperate from the LO, also yes
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  • imagekhagan9368:
    I come from an Irish (off the boat grandparents) family So my brother and I were exposed to a lot of drinking very young Ie: " put a lil whiskey on er gums for the teething" To "eh put a lil whiskey in er bottle to help er sleep" (jamesons was like penicilin in our family) LOL Alcohol in the house yes, kept VERY seperate from the LO, also yes

    lol.. i was convinced this was something my grandmother had conjured up all on her own! lol...

  • We have beer/wine in the house and often have it with dinner (or had it pre-preg).  Occasionally we will have wine after DS has gone to bed and we do have a rule that one of us must remain sober/not-buzzed at all times.
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  • We usually have beer and wine in the house. Neither of us plan to stop drinking when lo arrives.  I totally understand how some parents fear keeping alcohol around their kids, but we don't want to demonize drinking to the extent that it makes it the all-alluring "forbidden fruit" either. Everything in moderation I suppose.
  • 2-Step2-Step member
    I will have alcohol in the house and keep it in the same fridge as everything else. As a child my parents enjoyed a glass of wine or beer almost every night with dinner, but I never remember ever seeing them drunk. I think it was a good example of a healthy relationship with alcohol and because it was always there, it was never a big deal to me. I was used to it being an adult drink that they enjoy in moderation and never was curious or even cared. I will set boundaries and raise my children the same way
  • Our liquor is kept in a beautiful antique in the front room and DH has a wine refrigerator in the basement (he's collecting).  We'll continue to drink moderately around LO and will let it be a normal part of life.  In other countries people aren't as agro about alcohol as they are here--the kids I babysat in France could have watered down wine if they wanted (they also had a cabinet full of chocolate and they would often pick fruit or yogurt instead!).  We feel that binge drinking and teenage accidents come from abusing and experimenting with "forbidden fruit." 
  • Oh no, Irish whiskey cures all!!! And my pop (a raging alcoholic) lived to 102 on Jamesons and his pipe. That man could really screw up scientific studies... He also survived on bacon grease sandwiches (ew)
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  • 2-Step2-Step member

    imageejm:
    Our liquor is kept in a beautiful antique in the front room and DH has a wine refrigerator in the basement (he's collecting).  We'll continue to drink moderately around LO and will let it be a normal part of life.  In other countries people aren't as agro about alcohol as they are here--the kids I babysat in France could have watered down wine if they wanted (they also had a cabinet full of chocolate and they would often pick fruit or yogurt instead!).  We feel that binge drinking and teenage accidents come from abusing and experimenting with "forbidden fruit." 

    Agreed. I think making a big deal out of it just makes kids more curious when they become teenagers. 

  • PeskyPesky member
    Yes.  Yes.  DH more frequently than me (acid reflux kills me) -- maybe 4x a week max.  Yes.  Yes.  I think part of learning to be responsible around alcohol is having good role models.  Both DH and I grew up in households where in high school, we were told if we wanted to try liquor, to let our parents know and do so preferably in the safety of our own home so they could help in case of ER.  DH would occasionally drink wine while traveling with his parents abroad, I didn't (a few sips here and there worked wonders -- never liked the taste until I was almost 30!).  I think that kind of attitude helped us know that while it is something that can be enjoyed, there is certainly a dangerous side to it that we needed to be aware of and respect.  And I hope our kids learn the same.  FWIW, DD has already reached for our wine glasses or beer bottles.  We just tell her "no, that's special for only mommy and daddy and could make you very sick" and she leaves it be.  It's not an issue.  As she gets older, we'll educate her more as to what it is but we're keeping the lesson at her understanding right now.  And we NEVER leave alcoholic beverages unattended when she is running around.


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  • My DH has a problem when he drinks liquor, so starting a few months ago he only drinks beer and wine.  I LOVE wine.  We'll definitely have wine around the house and split a bottle over dinner after LO is a few weeks old.  We won't drink more than a couple drinks each for quite awhile, and then when LO is old enough to know what's going on (4, 5 years old?) we'll probably only drink after he's gone to bed or at special social occasions.  We normally drink 2-3 nights a week a few drinks, and a glass of wine almost every night with dinner.
  • completely agree with this
  • we both have had drinks around dd.  i grew up with parents who drank in moderation or on Friday/Saturday nights-mostly my dad.   We knew where the alcohol was kept and i really didn't drink until college-maybe had some in High School, but not regularly and not a lot.   our daughter knows it is "daddy juice" or "grandpa juice" there fore not her juice.    i believe it is healthy for kids to have healthy examples and to know it is not taboo. 

    we have alcohol in the house, we both drink-dh a drink per night or more on weekends-me weekends i'll have some wine or the occasional beer (i also do a couple girls weekends per year and let loose then).   i know my limits and dh knows his.   and yes we drink in front of our dd.

  • Neither DH or I like beer, so you will never catch it in our fridge unless someone that does like it come to visit.  However, we do drink the "harder" liquor, and wine, on occasion.  We have a special cabinet over our stove for harder liquor and a wine rack in the kitchen for the wine.  I've only been drunk twice, and DH only once...back in college.  That was enough times for me to know my limits when it comes to alcohol.

    We will have in our house, but by the time our kids get to the age of being curious about it, we will keep it locked.  I remember growing up my dad had so many hiding places for his alcohol that it was beyond crazy. LOL He also counted beers everyday.  Lord forbid if one went missing, because that would put him on a manhunt to find out who took it...even if he forgot how many he had drank his self.

    Me: 36  DH: 37
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  • Will you have alcohol in the house?  Yes, but we will teach our children from an early age that drinking alcohol is an adult activity.  It's expected they will try it when they are teenagers, but we will cross that road when we come to it.  For now, tho we will have it in the house.
     
    Do you or your spouse drink?  How often?  Yes.  Obviously I am not currently because of the pregnancy, but before I had wine several nights a week.  DH is the same.  Currently he only has beer when he's out, or bourbon when he's had a long day at work. 
     
    Do you have limits? I guess - we both are mature enough to know not to get shiitfaced anymore.  Before the pregnancy if we were out and saw the other having a little too much, we would say so.  I can't imagine getting drunk drunk again anymore tho.
     
    Will you drink in front of your little one?  It depends on what kind of drinking you're referring to.  At least, there are different levels for us.  Wine with dinner = fine.  Beer with dinner or while wathing a football game = fine.  Wine during a holiday dinner/get together = fine.  Mardi Gras style drinking = no.
  • We always have a full stock of alcohol in the house. We don't get drunk very often, only parties once or twice a year maybe. However we do enjoy casual drinks. We plan on having a finished bar in the basement with a seperate fridge (both with locks) one day. Until then we have a liquor cupboard with a pretty deceant selection, many different kinds of wine we make or buy by the case & always have beer in the fridge. DH enjoys either a beer or a glass of wine in the evenings & before being pg I would often have a glass of wine. I do not see a problem with this around LO at all. I have had the occasional sip or small glass in the past few weeks as well. I will have a drink when nursing too. I think healthy drinking (as in one or two social drinks, no buzz) is a good example for LO. We will not let LO drink any alcohol at all. They will know its a grown up drink.
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  • My DH drinks 1 or 2 beers on a fri/sat night, more nights in the summer but he's vary rarely ever "drunk" if even. Neither of us has ever drank when DD was awake, it just seems odd. If it was like ?a vacation and he had a beer at a resturant thats fine, i drive even if he's not remotley drunk, and if we had a picnik and there was beer it would be fine, but its' not the norm.
  • My DH doesn't drink, and I only drink while out with friends/family along with dinner. Alcohol is not kept in our house. I was raised with parents that had a glass of wine or beer with dinner - and that was it. It was never a big deal at the house. I have a ton of family that are alcoholics - and was warned from a very very young age the problems associated with alcohol, and therefore have really stayed away from it. We will raise our child with those same very strong warnings.

  • AlilivAliliv member
    We have alcohol in the house - we keep a stocked bar:)   We drink on occasion when we have friends over.   I prefer wine.  DH prefers rye or beer.   We have never been drunk in front of DD nor do we plan to; however, we have had a drink in front of her.  DD does not sip our drinks.  In fact, I have her so well "trained" with "healthy" fear of alcohol that when by Dad tried to get her to taste she started crying!   She was afraid Grandpa was trying to make her sick!
  • We're the same - we both drink but we keep all liquor in a separate fridge.  I am likely to start drinking again after breast-feeding but it won't be while the LO is around/awake.  

     

    I think it's fine in moderation. 

  • DH and I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner a couple nights a week (except now obviously) and that will continue after the baby. ?My parents drank occasionally and I see nothing wrong with it. ?I think it's better to have them exposed to it than never seeing any alcohol or people enjoying it responsibly.
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  • steverstever member

    Neither DH nor I ever drank on a daily basis and we don't come from families of drinkers. I don't see it as ever becoming a problem with LO wanting to have a sip from our drinks but, if it does, I'll just make sure he knows that it's something for grown-ups.

    I think the spare fridge is a good idea for your DH.

  • afgafg member

    Yes we both drink (I don't now for obvious reason) but we pretty much always have wine and/or beer in the house.  I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

    It's not like we drink to get drunk.  I think it's better to set a positive example for your child, that you can have a few drinks and not go crazy and over board.  Personally I think it's worse to make alcohol a taboo thing, that is hidden or a secret.  It will be kept in the fridge in the kitchen,  along with everything else. 

  • FI drinks and I did before being pregnant. We will still have it in the house. We have agreed not to get drunk infront of our child. I don't want to get drunk anymore anyways. Its just not a good idea. Even if we had a babysitter you just never know if something might happen to our kid. I am sure I will but never when he is around. Drinking to me isn't important. Just have one when he is asleep.

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  • I collect and drink wines. The wine fridge is going to be present in our house though I may lock it up.  I'm more concerned about my mom or DH opening a bottle that is really expensive and not appertiating it then the kids seeing it.  My DH is a little overboard on the drinking he has beer in his shop and in the house we also have hard stuff in the dinning room.  I grew up very aware of alcohol and learned to drink responsibly.  My dad would allow me drinks starting at about 12 we had wines at family gatherings and mixed drinks in the evening sometimes as I grew older, I had already learned how to drink by the time my friends were steeling beer in highschool and I never joined them just wasn't a fun idea.  I want my kids to learn responsible drinking not discover it at a party.
    Me DOR amh .64 ng/mL  
    DH Brain Cancer
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  • Our friends all bring their kids to parties/keggers at least one parent is sober and it seems wo work for all of them.  It can be odd to have a toddler at a party but they know the drinks are for adults.
    Me DOR amh .64 ng/mL  
    DH Brain Cancer
    BFP #1 12/11/08 DS born 8/23/09
    BFP#2 10/13/11 DC 11/4/11
    BFP#3 12/6/13 Lost 12/29/13
    Told IVF is the only option and have not found a clinic that will take me.



  • imagekhagan9368:
    I come from an Irish (off the boat grandparents) family So my brother and I were exposed to a lot of drinking very young Ie: " put a lil whiskey on er gums for the teething" To "eh put a lil whiskey in er bottle to help er sleep" (jamesons was like penicilin in our family) LOL Alcohol in the house yes, kept VERY seperate from the LO, also yes

     

    I agree with you on this one...  my grandmother used to give me "hot tardy's" when id get a cough...

    but even now without a baby in the house we keep our alcohol in a cabinet above the fridge, thats hard to get to and things on top of the fridge need to be moved to get to it... so it isnt very accessible or even known.  and if theres beer int he fridge its usually tucked away in a drawer... my dad always had a beer with dinner or while working on something outside, and id always go grab him " a cold one" but was taught it was for adults only... and i wasnt too bad even as a teen...

    so i think as long as your child knows what is and isnt ok.. its ok to have it...

    although being irresponsible with it is a diff story...

    we wont be having parties or get togethers for a long time.. at least involving ne of that

  • We have liquor, beer and wine in the house, and I think both of us will drink (but responsibly) around LO. I will maybe have a glass of wine, and he will have a beer or a cocktail.
    Baby E: July 3, 2009 Baby M: February 22, 2012
  • We'll probably keep a bit of wine in our cellar.  I don't think we'll do much drinking in front of LO other than the occasional glass of wine with dinner or when company is over. 
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