MY Birth Plan... I know you're just DYING to know!
It involves pushing the kid out as fast as possible, with as little pain as possible and then immediately consuming as much Salmon Sashimi from OMI Sushi here in Toronto, as is humanely possible.
It may also involve downing ?a bottle of either Clare Leasingham Bin 61 Shiraz 2001 from Australia or 2006 Thirty Bench Chardonnay with a delightful vanilla undertone that will compliment the sushi.
There is also a strict, no mirrors, no photographs, no video taping during before during and immediately following labour. Hair and makeup need to be done prior to said photographic evidence being collected. No chin shots or unflattering angles may be used at any time. Nor shall anyone suggest or direct me to reach down and feel the baby's head prior to it being birthed entirely from my body.
All guests in the delivery room must sign a confidentiality waiver and agree to never discuss with me any bodily fluids or solids that leave my body before after or during the birthing process. They must also agree to never discuss it with anyone else.
I would prefer fresh peonies in shades of blush in the room, non-scented white candles and shaved Arctic glacier ice chips in the room. Musical selections are to be made by me and only me and at any time, fast forwarding through a song may be required and must be attended to with no questions asked.?
Re: MY Birth Plan... I know you're just DYING to know!
Can I cut an paste this directly into any birth plan that I submit to the hospital????
Can I copy this word-for-word, except I will require that my sushi come from Chino Latino in Minneapolis?
I also think you should add a clause about "no interns, no residents, no students, etc."
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I'm glad I'm not the only one with this in their plan! I just don't see WHY you would want to do that! ugh! Just creepy to me.
You had me at Shiraz...
I think you should include a strict penalty for breaking the confidentiality waiver. Such as "breaking said confidentiality waiver will result in 1000 hours of free babysitting to be rendered within 30 minutes notice by the lovely mother on both weekdays and weekends"
I have to say, that is one of the best birth plans I ever read.
DH and I came up with something similar but involves tacos and tequila instead.
This is good AND we should also extend that to include Diaper Duty.?
I would LOVE to submit that to the hospital. ?That would be awesome:)
?
Lol I love it
I love it!
BUT--I am a florist & peonies are definitely out of season in July. Hopefully the person in charge of buying the flowers has deep pockets & can fly the peonies in from Holland for $10/stem!
I am aware that come the end of June the peonies are gone baby gone. I think they should be flown in especially for me though. I'm totally worth it and it's part of my whole JLo Birth Plan Event.
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
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Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
Why would you do that??? I am sorry, but I absolutely despise this mentality. These people are fresh in their knowledge, and they aren't going to be allowed to do anything that they are not able to do.
My husband just finished 4 years of medical school, and is now a resident, and I might actually be more comfortable having him deliver the baby than anyone else at this point considering how much up to date knowledge he has about it in his head. He is on his toes and making sure he does everything right.
A hospital is never going to just let an intern/resident/student/fellow/whatever in and hand them the reins without looking over their shoulder and ensuring that they are doing everything right.
How is it possible for people who are learning to actually learn without being part of the process? There isn't exactly a magical process that happens when they graduate med school and finish their residency that makes them a perfect doctor - they have to go through it.
If you don't want anyone but a seasoned doctor at your delivery, don't go to a teaching hospital in the first place.
YES PLEASE!!! SAKE & SUSHI ASAP!!
Sounds like mine, except I want a crunchy Blue roll and a Doc Hollywood mojito from Kona.
And start the stadol when I'm admitted, and keep it coming...
While I completely get this, I have to disagree. I had a resident (who seriously looked 16) break my water. After his first attempt, the nurse asked if he got it. He said "I think so". WTF? You THINK so??? I'm in the middle of incredibly painful contractions, you're digging all up in me with a knitting needle, and you THINK you got it?? He hadn't got it and had to go back in. It was awful. While I get that they need to learn, this is one day/event where I get to call the shots and I think I have every right to. If a woman doesn't want an unseasoned doctor participating in the labor and birth of her child, she has every right to make that call/request.
oh gosh!! they have students at all hospitals. Everyone has THEIR OWN THINGS that THEY like and dislike. like you said you are comfortable with your resident husband not everyone else is the same way
Exactly, my hospital has residents/students/etc., since it is in a city with a med school, even though it is not THE teaching hospital. I have allowed plenty of PA students/MD students/student nurses, etc. have experience with me throughout my life (virgin pap smears and pelvics! endometriosis at age 20! tilted uterus!), so I don't think I'm being horrible if I don't want residents/students poking around constantly. I'll probably allow one or two, but I'm not going to be there just for more medical experience.?
I love it however I am changing the wine and sushi to beer and wings. It has to be ice cold beer.
"I love it however I am changing the wine and sushi to beer and wings. It has to be ice cold beer."
mmmm... I am debating between this and margaritas...