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TTC After a Loss
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I have a friend

patchessipatchessi
in TTC After a Loss

..who just miscarried at about 2-4 weeks she wasn;t really sure. She is so upset that she doesn't even want to talk. Do you ladies have any advice for me so I can try and comfort her? I'm well aware that nothing I can say can make it better but I figured there might be something I could do. TIA!

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Re: I have a friend

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    happyhooplahappyhoopla member
    Just be there for her. Ask her how she's doing and if she needs anything (food, company, cleaning). Just try to avoid the typical cliches that people spout when there's a loss (it wasn't meant to be, you can have another baby, there must have been something wrong, God won't give you more than you can handle, etc.).
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Loss #1 (missed miscarriage) 14 weeks Loss #2 (missed miscarriage) 10 weeks Loss #3 (chemical pregnancy) Loss #4 (chemical pregnancy) Loss #5 (chemical pregnancy)
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    redshoegirlredshoegirl member

    imagehappyhoopla:
    Just be there for her. Ask her how she's doing and if she needs anything (food, company, cleaning). Just try to avoid the typical cliches that people spout when there's a loss (it wasn't meant to be, you can have another baby, there must have been something wrong, God won't give you more than you can handle, etc.).

    All of this - especially the bit about the cliches. When you miscarry, you don't want to hear all the stuff people spew out because they don't know what to say or feel uncomfortable or think it will help - you just want to know that the person is there for you and understands and acknowledges what you've lost. All you need to say is "I'm sorry for your loss - please let me know if there's anything I can do for you," and then just be there for her.

    Recovering after a miscarriage is difficult emotionally and physically (you're in a huge state of hormonal flux, plus grieving a lost child) - she'll definitely need your emotional support, and might appreciate help with simple things like dinner (the LAST thing either DH or I wanted to think about was cooking and washing dishes!).

    You sound like a good friend and I'm sure she'll be very thankful to have you by her side.

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    garcia15garcia15
    I agree with all pp. ?Just let her know that you are there for her. ?Don't try to give her any "advice" like: ?At least you know you can get pg, you're still young you can always try again! at least it was an early m/c, etc etc. That stuff is not helpful and will only upset her more. ?Sometimes all you need is someone to listen and give you a hug. ?I avoided the entire world when I went through that. ?She'll talk when she's ready.
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    BELOVEDCARMELBELOVEDCARMEL
    When I had my MC I really did'nt want to talk about it, but it was nice knowing that I had people there when I needed them. So if she doesnt want to talk just let her know you are there for her if she needs to talk .
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