Stay at Home Moms
Forums,websites,playgroups, friends...
So how many of you prefer big sites and forums of other womyn that you most likely will not meet? Does this give you freedom to be more honest? I'm on some national sites like this but also a couple local ones. I don't have any good friends that are parents and have made some Mommy/Baby connections with playgroups but no real friends. My local sites seem so boring too. It's starting to be a real drag not having other people in my life?constantly?as a SAHM. Everyone is filled with so much drama and seems like no one's schedules ever mesh so there is never follow though with get-togethers. I just wish I could find a group of committed parents that are like our family that set getting together as a priority for our DCs and our own mental health. Do any of you feel like this??
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Re: Forums,websites,playgroups, friends...
I found my local playgroup on 'yahoo groups'. We have a set time we get together: Wednesday's at 9:30am - 11:30am. Our group is very laid back - if you can make it, great, if not, no big deal. Sometimes we have 2 moms and sometimes we have 7. None of us care if the others run late (after all, once you have kids, you're bound to run late). We take turns having it at each others house. On yahoo groups they have calendars and stuff so we simply take turns posting our house for Wed morning...or different parks and stuff when it's warm out. We also have 'Moms Night Out' the first Monday evening of each month. Again, sometimes it's 2 moms, sometimes 7. We all try to be as dedicated as we can, but we also know that illnesses, behavior, doctor appts etc can interfere with playgroup. I love our group. Sadly though, if I had one complaint, it would be that even after 4 years of being with this group, I still feel like the other moms are "playgroup friends" and not "real friends". I have no idea why no one has been able to open themselves up fully. I've tried, but they weren't really receptive. I'm not sure if it's just my group...or if a lot of women are just like that - have a hard time getting too close to other women. Either way though, the playgroup part of it is really nice.
My advice would be to either find or start a local yahoo group and make a set day/time and stick with it. If people are really looking for a playgroup, they'll adjust their schedules to make it happen as much as possible.
Another bit of advice is that if a particular playgroup doesn't work for you, you can always try a different one. I'm not with the same ladies I started with almost 7 years ago when my first son was born, it took me a few tries to find the right group. And even then, our group that we have now is split from the original group. Half the moms were very snobby and half were really laid back...it split the group in half, but we each continued with the group we were more comfortable in. (I was not in the snobby group - lol).
Anyway, keep trying. You'll eventually find the right place to be.
I, too, had/have a problem finding moms at playgroup that I connect with. My first experience was awful. The moms were so stuck up and literally, no one talked to me. I've since splintered off with a few other girls who joined later and created our own network which is way better.
It is somehow hard to connect with other mothers at playgroup on a personal level. I don't know why that is. Maybe for some it's because we're so busy keeping an eye on what's going on, we can't focus on a real, in-depth conversation? In my case, I think it is just because many of the women at the playgroups here basically haven't matured past their high school "Mean Girls" phase.
Sorry, I wasn't much help. Good luck.