Pre-School

First day at camp :( WWYD

Hi ladies - I think I just need to vent (because my husband somehow doesn't understand), but I appreciate any advice you can give as well!

DS is an outgoing, friendly, kind guy. He has a ton of friends at pre-school and seemingly gets along with new kids he meets (e.g., friends of our friends, etc.) 

Yesterday was his first day of camp - he's just there for a week while preschool is closed for vacation. He came back exhausted today, which I expected because they don't nap and he still does, and they had a full day of activities.He said he had fun and told me about the things they did, how he ate his lunch, how they swam, etc.

Before he fell asleep he started crying and asking not to go to camp tomorrow. After a few questions, he finally said that he played alone all day and didn't make any friends. I talked him through how to approach people (what's your name, let's play together, etc.), but inside my heart was totally breaking.

I am just so bummed out that he is feeling this way :( He's my little guy and I don't want him to feel an ounce of loneliness or rejection. I convinced him that tomorrow will likely be a great day (they are tie-dying t-shirts, of course it's going to be a great day :), but I'm so sad - I want him to make friends and be happy :)

 Do you think I should talk to the teacher about this, or am I just being crazy, and should give him some room to figure it out on his own?

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Re: First day at camp :( WWYD

  • I'd give it another day. I want to go to camp and do tye dye.




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  • If you can talk without him knowing I would ask them to keep an eye out for him being alone and if he does not talk to someone after a while if they can help facilitate it
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • You know, my DD told me that at gymnastics camp she "doesn't have any friends and everyone is mean to" her. The camp counselor said she is extremely outgoing and made friends really quickly. Walking out every day some other little kid would be happily waving to her and saying "Goodbye, Charlotte! See you tomorrow!"

    Now, my daughter for some reason likes to say negative things ALL the time at home about what happened at school at the end of the day, so this isn't all that unusual for her, but I wouldn't worry TOO much about it. Just show confidence that he'll quickly make friends and if you have a private moment with the teacher see if they can nudge him and another kid together if he is lonely.

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  • My DD was exhausted after camp yesterday, and at bedtime she told me she didn't want to go back because "camp made her too tired."  This morning after a good sleep, she was singing a different tune, and she couldn't wait to go.  My guess would be that your DS just misses his school friends.  He's probably still having lots of fun at camp and playing with other kids, but I know my DD misses her friends from last year a LOT. 
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  • Since your situation is a temporary placement, empowerment is key.  Teach your child how to deal with children who may not be so friendly or welcoming.  Also keep up with friends outside of the classroom too, so to keep your childs confidence up - even 1 friend is better than none.

    My social butterfly seems to have difficulty in his morning class too (1hr.), 2 boys in particular seem to have formed a clique of sorts and are outcasting   DS, which makes me sad. 

    While DS has formed friendships outside of school, and we also gave him information to empower him inside the classroom.  We explained that if the children say hurtful words, to tell them to stop they are being mean and walk away - if this still doesn't work, tell a teacher.  I told him if he is confused about if a word is hurtful or not, he can always ask mommy or daddy.

    While standing afar, to see how this situation plays out this morning, I noticed DS tends to avoid the 2 boys, and will play on his own with some toys.  The boys do try to instigate a problem, but DS is very good at avoiding them.

     

    I am thinking of maybe asking the director if DS could bring in Dunkin' Doughnut Munchkins into the morning class for the kids and teachers, maybe as a fun little gift to the class to help foster friendships in the morning class - its a passing thought though.

    Remember, as with our own childhood, there were good years and bad years - with new schools and moves, come new teachers and classmates to experience both good side and the bad side of people and yes I agree, its hard to hear (and watch). 

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