August 2013 Moms

Vent My Mother. Grrrrrr!

My Mom is the loose cannon in my family. I have cared for her since I was 14 years old and she still requires the care of a teenager today. We now live in different towns, 2 hours apart. She is a chain smoking, pill popping alcoholic and has numerous health issues due to her chosen lifestyle. She is also mentally unstable and refuses to take her meds. I am scheduled for RCS on the 31st and it was planned that they, her and my grandmother would drive in that morning and stay the night at my house leaving the next day. Now they are wanting to come the day before. I'm not looking forward to spending that last day pregnant caring for my mom and her issues as well as my grandmother who has Alzheimer's. I love them both but it's a ton of work! My Mom loves to pick fights and play the victim and I just don't know if I can handle it while trying to get ready for the birth of my baby the next day! Sorry so long, just needed to vent.

Re: Vent My Mother. Grrrrrr!

  • My mom is the same way! She is the black sheep of the family, a total train wreck. THANKFULLY I live in California and she lives back in Missouri so I don't have to worry about these kinds of things. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that... Maybe out your foot down and stick to your guns with the original plan?
  • Oh heck NO! I can't believe you are even entertaining that thought/plan!
    ~~~Our first little one is due on Aug. 20th 2013~~~
  • I totally agree with you. Hopefully you can keep them from coming early. Honestly, that sounds like a pain no matter how long they come. I would tell them not to come at all, but I tend to be pretty mean anyway.

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  • I'm sorry. You don't need that added stress at any time, but especially not the day before. Could they get a hotel? I would normally say talk to her and tell her no, but I don't for see her listening based on your post. Is she stable enough to be around LO? I don't have much experience with those things except for alcoholism. I hope things get better and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
  • I'm not usually an advocate for lying...or stretching the truth...but in that situation, I'd be very tempted to say Dr said I was to lay low, no visitors beforehand. :-/ Hope it works out somehow...either they change plans or stay at hotel.
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  • tdmklmtdmklm
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    I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I cut off my crazy parents a year and a half ago and haven't looked back.
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  • That sounds unbearable and it must be hard because I'm sure you would love to have your mom and grandmothers support and not feel like you have to worry about their well being on top of everything else. I hope it all works out!!
  • You don't want her coming the day before. End of story. You don't owe her anything. If she wants to play the victim card, let her, and that's something she's going to have to get through. Not you. 

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  • image SarahinMD:
    I'm not usually an advocate for lying...or stretching the truth...but in that situation, I'd be very tempted to say Dr said I was to lay low, no visitors beforehand. :/ Hope it works out somehow...either they change plans or stay at hotel.


    This is a good idea
  • image RoosterMemphis:
    You don't want her coming the day before. End of story. You don't owe her anything. If she wants to play the victim card, let her, and that's something she's going to have to get through. Not you.nbsp;


    She is seriously nuttier than squirrel sit. She would come anyway bang on the door it would be awful. My best bet is to keep my fingers crossed that I go into labor first and then it's a non issue.
  • Ugh I'm so sorry, that sounds awful! Do you have a close friend (a patient one!) who could maybe come play buffer/caretaker for you? Ordinarily I wouldn't suggest adding more people to the crowd, but it might be nice to have someone there that you trust who would be willing to "babysit" your mom and grandma. :(
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  • image SarahinMD:
    I'm not usually an advocate for lying...or stretching the truth...but in that situation, I'd be very tempted to say Dr said I was to lay low, no visitors beforehand. :/ Hope it works out somehow...either they change plans or stay at hotel.


    I was about to suggest the same. Just stay in your room and say you're tired. Sounds stressful though. Can your hubby help?
  • image polinaant:
    image SarahinMD:
    I'm not usually an advocate for lying...or stretching the truth...but in that situation, I'd be very tempted to say Dr said I was to lay low, no visitors beforehand. :/ Hope it works out somehow...either they change plans or stay at hotel.


    I was about to suggest the same. Just stay in your room and say you're tired. Sounds stressful though. Can your hubby help?


    The hubby is so amazing. When I told him he said "I love your mom and grandmother and I will do what ever I need to do but this does not sound fun." I know he is really not happy about it but he knows how hard it is on me so he won't complain. I'm in the process of seeing if I can't pay for a hotel for them. Hopefully they will go for it because the guest room is upstairs and my grandmother has a very hard time with stairs. I'm gonna run this angle and see if it works!
  • Can they stay at a nearby hotel?
    Lilypie - (MRhv)

  • Hotels can br spendy, so we are borrowing a 35 foot toy hauler. It has three queen beds, fiur flat screens, a full kitchen, bathroom, shower, outside awning, etc. We plan to keep it connected to electricity sobthey can use the heater and ac and use the tanks so people can use the bathroom.

    No one is staying in the house but my ILs. We will have quiet hours... 8:00p until 7:00a. Then no TV in our house during the afternoon. Most of the silence is for my benefit...

    We will get the trailer two weeks prior to my eed for cleaning and stocking ans then keep it open for who ever would like to stay there. We plan to take it back 2 to 3 weeks after birth. It will give my DH a place to hang out with family of me and the LO are napping or sleeping.

    If they don't like it, I work for the government and the governtment rate is 91/ night... they can't say I wasn't a gracious hostess!!!

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