February 2014 Moms

Anyone thinking?

Any ladies out there thinking or already made the decision to stop working after baby is born? I have a stable career and I've continued working with my son, but I can't imagine working and being a mother of two. I just think about the struggles I've dealt with the past 2 years and I can't imagine doing it again. It's such a big decision because for me once I make this decision there is no going back. I won't be able to get a job like I have now, with the pay that I get now. I'm under government contract so its going to take some paperwork to leave my job. I guess I want to know what's making you decide, are you worried how tight money will be, do you plan on going back to work at some point, what's your general plan after baby is born concerning work?
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Re: Anyone thinking?

  • i LOVE my job.  It's sad, but its been my whole life for 9 years.  After a lot of serious thinking I've decided to take about 2 years off.  We are very fortunate to be able to budget without my income.  And being a teacher it is a job I can easily return to later. But I know it's a job I (and by "I" I mean me personally, a lot of women do a great job as both mom & teacher)  cannot do with a baby at home.  I generally work 11 hours a day and would not feel right about not being able to continue this kind of effort.  I also will feel much more comfortable putting a 18mo or 2 year old in day care than a little one.

    It looks like you have some added concerns working at a job it would be difficult to go back to later.   I wish you the best with this very difficult decision.  

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  • pskpsk
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    I am 99% sure I won't return to work. My hours are consistantly long, and there  is no way I can cut back and be successful unfortunately. I don't really want to stay at home full time either though, so we have been talking about me going back to school or something like that maybe 6 months in. Our plans right now include private school, since we do not want to move, and I would go back once/if tuition is an issue. 
  • DH and I couldn't make it on one income. There was never a question. The average salary for our area is in the 20k range...if that gives you a little insight. Granted we bought our house 3 br/ 2 ba for 30k and it just needs a little updating..it was built in 1940.

    While DH would love to be able to have me stay home it's not an option for us. Probably never will be....unless DH has some crazy change of career and leaves working for the state. He works in the best paid agency of the state and still doesn't make enough to run a household on his salary alone. The only big debt we have is the house.

    So because of my cancer I will have to be out of work for a couple months for treatment after delivery and I'm already worried about how we're going to make ends meet until I can return to work.

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  • This is a big thing for us...I'd love to go PT, but unless we can clear things up financially (we're trying to see one of our vehicles), then it won't be possible until the baby is about 5-6 months old.  I work 3 12 hour shifts ans PT is 2 12 hour shifts, but it's a significant amount of money per month...I wish we weren't so young and stupid with our money before marriage and kids...
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  • I'm thinking about it. I'm a teacher, so I'll take the rest of the year off after this LO is born... it'll give us 6 months to see how things will go on one income. DH makes good money, but we have our house on a 10 year mortgage so we can pay it off more quickly... it makes our payment higher but worth it in the long run. I'd hate to go back to a 30 year loan to stay home for 3-4 years.

    I also stayed home with my DS from Dec. 2009- Aug. 2010. I went so stir crazy staying home... I'd ideally like to work part time but can't do that with teaching unless I sub... I'd make $70/day subbing and have to pay $50/day for childcare... so its not worth it.

     GL to you on your decision though!

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  • Financially, it doesn't make sense for one of us to stay home. We make pretty similar salaries (within a few thousand) and once #2 arrives, we'll be paying about 1/4 of our joint income (so 1/2 of one persons) on DC. Not really enough to justify either one of us quitting, and since I carry the insurance for the family it would be H who would SAH if one of us did.

    TBH, we would both love if H could be a SAHD. But unfortunately it's not financially smart. For one, he gets a significant match in his 401k that we'd lose out on. And it would put us in a very tight financial spot. While we could afford our bills, there really wouldn't be anything left for anything else like dinners out, birthday presents, etc. Things that aren't a necessity per se, but make life more enjoyable. 

    Sadly we'd be in a much better spot if I hadn't done 1/2 grad program and decided that MBA wasn't for me. Now I'm paying double in student loans Sad



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  • This is such a personal decision for the family. We have been working hard to only live on one salary for the last few years, in hopes of being able to handle staying at home once our babies come. I was one week away from my quit date last time when we delivered our daughter stillborn. Thankfully my work was great and allowed me to continue on with the company. For us, it just didnt make sense for me to stay. I would literally be bringing home about $100 a month after paying for childcare. It was not worth it to me to do that. DH and I do a lot of things on the side to make extra money, so I would continue to do those types of things. This is very personal to us, but after having lost our daughter, there is almost nothing (barring anything happening to DH) that would make me not stay home with my child. But this has a lot to do with losing our daughter.

    It is totally your and your DH/SO decision. Perhaps there are other moms of multiple children in your industry who could give you some insight on staying at work (if you choose) and how they handle the work/life balance. Thankfully you have some time to decide and think it through as to how it would affect you personally and your family.

    Lilypie - (qptF)


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  • I will still work. I love my business and I couldn't imagine my life without it. It is nice because I can make my own schedule and don't miss any of the kids important events.
  • If we really made some cuts financially we could probably do it, but I wouldn't want to be a SAHM.  I'm a teacher so I have the summers with my son.  I feel like he gets so much more stimulation socially/academically by going to DC.  I engage him the best I can, but entertaining a 1.5 year old all day every day is difficult.  Being a working mom is best for our family.

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