April 2013 Moms

Needing to vent

So I'm getting ready to go back to work after almost 4 months off.  I'm a teacher and the birth of my son worked out perfectly where I could take the last 7 weeks off and not have to go back to work.  Now that I only have a week and a half left at home I'm started to get emotional about leaving my baby all day, everyday.  It just really annoys me that when I try to talk to my husband about how I'm feeling he just tells me to get over it.  Anyone else already back to work?  How did you handle it?

Re: Needing to vent

  • I've been back for 4 weeks now. My husband kind of has that perspective...like he just wishes I could accept things I can't change, and stop being so emotional about it. Not in a dickish way but like hey, this is reality way. It was really hard but it literally got better every day. I'm used to it now...still don't love it, but it's doable now. Good luck to you. Sometimes guys don't see things the way we do, and it comes out like they're a holes, but I think most guys are just being realistic.
  • image andertrr:
    I've been back for 4 weeks now. My husband kind of has that perspective...like he just wishes I could accept things I can't change, and stop being so emotional about it. Not in a dickish way but like hey, this is reality way. It was really hard but it literally got better every day. I'm used to it now...still don't love it, but it's doable now. Good luck to you. Sometimes guys don't see things the way we do, and it comes out like they're a holes, but I think most guys are just being realistic.

    This.  men are different.  They will never see things the way we do.  If you're trying to express to him your frustration and he comes back in a way you feel is jerky-let him know that it sounds like he's being insensitive.  Spell it out for him.

    And like pp said...I've been back to work for almost six weeks, and it does get easier each day.  And my baby is home with H all day...not daycare!  So I have just about the perfect set up...and it was still hard when I first went back.

    Good luck! 

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  • I went back to work when DD was just 4 weeks. And it was heart breaking cried for the first few weeks,now it's easier. No one will really understand how you are feeling,you are the mom and only you know how hard it i,I work 9 hour shifts so I just cherish every moment I get to spend with her! Best of luck!
  • I'm at work right now, have been for 3 weeks.  I just went back part time but it's ridiculously hard for me still.  LO for some reason doesn't like being over my MIL's house. Maybe it has something to do with her trying to give him spoiled milk or her house his hot, but I digress. Sometimes I go feed him on my lunch time but it makes me feel horrible thinking that my baby is miserable.  She came to our house to watch him Friday & that seemed to work out just fine so hopefully that'll be better.  I still wanna cry every morning though i'm not going to even lie. MH was surprisingly understanding because he was miserable going back.  I think men just can't empatize with us sometimes because they don't have those maternal feelings. Enjoy the time you still have off.

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  • I am also a teacher so I totally understand the luxury of being off with LO much longer than the typical amount of time. Sometimes I think it's harder to go back the longer you are home with him. I knew I would be a blubbering mess the first day of school if I waited until then to send him to the sitter. So about 2 weeks ago, I started taking him to the sitter little bits at a time to get stuff done. Ive b een working on my classroom, going to the grocery, etc. I cried the first day even tho I was only leaving him there for 4 hrs. As of today, I am up to 6 hrs a day 3 days a week. This will gradually get me ready to go back a full week. Good luck getting back to school. I know it's such a stressful time of year and adding this to the mix makes it even harder. 
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  • I have been back 3 weeks and I am only physically here . Mentally all I think about is being home! My first week was the hardest but it gets easier each day..
    My husband tells me to get over it sometimes but he also wishes we could afford for me to be home .men are just insensitive
  • Trin42Trin42
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    image shadysladyWed98470:
    I am also a teacher so I totally understand the luxury of being off with LO much longer than the typical amount of time. Sometimes I think it's harder to go back the longer you are home with him. I knew I would be a blubbering mess the first day of school if I waited until then to send him to the sitter. So about 2 weeks ago, I started taking him to the sitter little bits at a time to get stuff done. Ive b een working on my classroom, going to the grocery, etc. I cried the first day even tho I was only leaving him there for 4 hrs. As of today, I am up to 6 hrs a day 3 days a week. This will gradually get me ready to go back a full week. Good luck getting back to school. I know it's such a stressful time of year and adding this to the mix makes it even harder. 

    I also went back to work gradually.  First two weeks at 4 hrs a day, last week at 6 hours a day and this week is full time.  It not only helped me but I feel it was better for EJ too. He's still getting to know my mom and she's still getting to know him so it's not perfect yet but it just takes time.  I wish I could work part-time but I'm the breadwinner. so it's just not an option.  I've come to almost enjoy the MOTN feedings b/c it's more time with him!

    Just like every PP said, it's hard but it does get easier.  I cried a lot the night before the first day back and I've gotten emotional and stressed other times.  My mom is watching him so that makes it somewhat easier but it's still hard.  Men just don't have the same attachment we have to our LO's (literally - we've been attached to our LO's due to breast feeding.)

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  • I went back last week (But am working from home today).  It went well.  I actually enjoyed being back and it made me appreciate my time with DS more.  The husband stuff is hard -- from his perspective, he only got a week home with our baby, so he has had to deal with work the whole time.  But, he was nice to me during my emotional moments about leaving him at school.

    Good luck!

     

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  • It is definitely a big adjustment and that first week back can be tough and basically unproductive! It does get easier though, with time, and with the reassurance of knowing LO does great while you're at work and is super happy and excited when you get home. Hang in there, enjoy the rest of your maternity leave! Let us know how your first week back goes!
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