C-sections

Repeat csection mommas?

I'm having a repeat csection after a traumatic labor. My pelvis is too narrow and baby never descended. He was 7 lbs. My water broke on its own etc, so it's not like I was induced or anything. My son and I almost died when I was giving birth and I don't want to go through the same thing again. I decided to do a repeat csection this time. The thought of a VBAC doesn't even cross my mind anymore after reading so much about it.

Does any of the moms who decided to get a RCS hear some criticism from other moms? I feel like Im always surronded by moms who have unmedicated births at home or birthing centers. I feel like there is a lot of criticism on csections and sometimes people don't understand that in many cases it is the safest option. It really hurts me at times when people make it sound like I am less of a woman or mom for choosing the csection.

I think what is upsetting me is a lunch conversation yesterday in which my choice of giving birth through a RCS became a heated topic between 3 other people while I just watched.
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Re: Repeat csection mommas?

  • Each and every case is different. Every woman wants something different too. If you feel and if your doctor feels a RCS is YOUR safest option...then you should do that. Do be careful that your doctor isn't just c section happy and pulling for that, just because.
    I'm the total opposite and am one of the women you describe in your post. I want an unmedicated VBAC next time...for sure!!! Honestly...in most cases the VBAC is a lot safer than a RCS. The section is major surgery.
    Just really do your research...even with more than one dr or midwife.
    Also...even though we are different we are still moms and having a section makes you no less of a mom than a vaginal birth.
    I've never delivered vaginally yet, but I really believe c sections are harder. The recover is brutal. We are just as much a mom!!!!!
    Good luck!'
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  • image Ardmhs83:
    Each and every case is different. Every woman wants something different too. If you feel and if your doctor feels a RCS is YOUR safest option...then you should do that. Do be careful that your doctor isn't just c section happy and pulling for that, just because.  

    This! All of mine have been CS/RCS. I'm a firm believer in VBAC's and so is my doctor but they just aren't the best choice for everyone. Oddly enough my Dad is the only one who's given me a hard time for not trying VBAC. I just don't think he quite understands. 

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  • You are going to have people who disagree with your choice no matter which way you go. When I was still undecided, some people thought I was crazy for considering a VBAC while others said they would never choose a RCS. A lot of people don't seem to realize that it's none of their business. In the end, you have to choose the option that is the best for you and your family.

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  • The reason people criticize is because it validates their own experiences. This is what I remind myself when I hear condescending pregnancy or parenting advice. I chose a RCS over a VBAC because I actually had such a good experience with my first c/s and was not a good candidate due to a medical condition.  And it was a good thing I did because I ended up with a true knot in the cord which would have tightened with the breaking of the water and cut off oxygen had I attempted a vaginal delivery.  Plus LO was 12lb 6oz and I'm somewhat small so there was just no way no matter what anyone wants to say!

    I think as long as you are happy with your decision then no one should be able to take that away from you.  There is so much pressure on women today with way too many double edged swords. You should do this, you should do that, you should stay at home, you should work, you should only have x number of children, etc. In these situations the best thing I do is remember not to judge someone in a future situation. You can't change the other women, but you can remember how it feels to be judged and support another woman in the future with whatever decision she is making even if it doesn't match our ideals or our own experiences.  I wish you luck in your RCS and hope you have a memorable birth!

    gladesgrl[Deleted User]gladygirlca
  • I had major complications during my first c section and my doctor felt that doing a vbac for number two was not safe. Although I would have liked to attempt a vbac I know it was safer for the section. And each recovery has been different from that first one. Stand proud and do what is best for you and your baby. Everyone will always have an opinion
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  • It may be hard, but try not to let other people's opinions effect you.  I don't mean this snarky, but who the heck cares if someone doesn't like your birthing choice, they have way too much time on their hands and no life if they're going to argue over how someone else gives birth.  I don't understand why people think it's any of their business how someone chooses to bring a baby into this world.  I've had a vaginal birth and 2 c/s (though I was hoping to VBAC the 2nd c/s).  I can tell you that my c/s were definitely not the easy way out, less of birthing, or any of that.  Sure you skip the contractions, they last 1-2 FREAKING DAYS.  With a c/s you get a much larger cut than an episiotomy, weeks of stomach pains every time you cough, sneeze, blow you nose, laugh too hard.  All 3 of my deliveries have been "by the book", no complications at all.  I've never heard any negativity based on my birthing options, but it really ticks me off when people think they have a right to an opinion on this subject. 

    Too late, but to make it short, try not to listen to them.  They have no idea about your situation (even if you explained it to them they wouldn't truly know) so they really have no clue what they're talking about.


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  • I have had three c/s.  When I was pregnant with #2 a few people talked to me about a VBAC, not in a condescending way, but more of a " this is why I chose a VBAC" way.  However, no one was ever rude to me about having a c/s.  A few people have pointed out how different I am from my mom because she had 7 homebirths, but that is about all. 

  • No one gets to decide what is best for you. There is also no glory or award that comes with a non medicated "natural" birth. You are lot any better or worse as a parent if you don't choose RCs epidural etc. baby comes out however it needs to. I have never understood those so adamant about which orfice a baby comes out if. Doesn't matter.
    Fwiw my 2nd section was super easy and I was moving around and mostly back to normal at 2 weeks. It was a great decision for me.
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  • YES!!  I get this all the time. My first baby was 7lbs 9oz and broke my tail bone on the way out. With my second my doctor called me after my growth scan and advised me to have a c-section as the baby was measuring really big. Although the last thing I wanted was a c-section I chose to follow my Doctors advice as she has 30 years of experienc. He ended up being 9lbs 8ozs and although the recovery sucked I have no regrets because I know in my heart I would have had serious issues delivering him naturally.

    I received such a negative response on my decision it was unreal. Acquaintances deleted me on facebook and put me on blast on for my decision. I was totally taken aback and really sad about how many people felt the need to weigh in on the decision that was such a hard one for my husband and I to make.

    I am now 35 weeks pregnant with my third and am getting the same type of feedback for not trying a vbac. A) my Doctor won't even perform them B) my best friend almost died after trying for a vbac, she ended up in emergency surgery for 5 hours to repair her uterus C) out of 13 people I know that tried for a vbac only one has been successful, the other 12 have ended up with emergency c sections after they labored and their babies either wouldn't cooperate or ended up in distress. 

    It blows my mind that people think they have the right to make you feel bad for the decisions you make. Everyone has different experiences with labor and everyone needs to decide what is best for their baby and for themselves and everyone else needs to keep their opinions to themselves Smile

     

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    It blows my mind that people think they have the right to make you feel bad for the decisions you make. Everyone has different experiences with labor and everyone needs to decide what is best for their baby and for themselves and everyone else needs to keep their opinions to themselves Smile

    This exactly. I know the reality of my situation and will make decisions based on that. I hate when people act like I am doing something along the level of drugs by having a c section. My body, my choice. I don't sit around and judge/taunt all those women who tried to have a natural birth and then ended up getting drugs so why do they get to judge me! 

    gladygirlca
  • image EmR22:
    image chocolatelover1:

    It blows my mind that people think they have the right to make you feel bad for the decisions you make. Everyone has different experiences with labor and everyone needs to decide what is best for their baby and for themselves and everyone else needs to keep their opinions to themselves Smile

    This exactly. I know the reality of my situation and will make decisions based on that. I hate when people act like I am doing something along the level of drugs by having a c section. My body, my choice. I don't sit around and judge/taunt all those women who tried to have a natural birth and then ended up getting drugs so why do they get to judge me! 



    You guys are so right. I thought I was going nuts. The more I read about it, the more I want to steer away from VBACs. I'm not sure why some women get so mad about us choosing a csection. Do we get mad at people who choose unmedicated home births? It doesn't come without its risks either. So it just blows my mind.
    My brother is a doctor and I just spend 40 minutes on the phone with me. He gave me reassurance the csection was the right thing for us. This combined with your comments make me feel more at peace and less upset about the way crazy people are reacting to my choice. Thanks ladies!!
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  • Yes I've heard critism from different places. Some have the gall to say an RCS isn't mother-like. WTF ever. I've been asked why don't I try going VBAC as if I'm choosing an RCS as if I'm trying to be lazy. It's none of their business that my OB feels that I would still be better off having an RCS vs. going VBAC.

    I've also heard critism toward mothers who reveal they are strictly formula feeding before they even consider breastfeeding. I think it's nobody's business but yours. Whatever they choose is up to them and it does not make them less of a woman, imo.

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  • I am facing a RCS and after reading this post I dont feel the level of anxiety I did about the possiblity of having a RCS. I wanted to try for a vbac but the possibility of a uterine rupture terrifies me more than c section recovery. With my first i went in for induction on Feb 1 at 6pm and on Feb 2 at 8:30 i only dialated to a 6. i had emergency csection. i afraid of not dialating again.
  • I'm getting a repeat and I know exactly how you feel. I wish there was some really good reason for RCS for me, but there isn't. I just decided I don't want to try a vbac. It's just not for me! And I don't feel like I can say that without getting 20 questions as to why I'm not trying a vbac. My dr is supportive of either choice. She only said that a vbac might be a better option if I wanted more than 3 kids. Lucky for me 3 is my max.



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  • The most important thing is that you and baby are safe and healthy. I had a C-section after it was recommended by my doctor, and she is the one who attended medical school. I have had people make comments but I just ignore them, my son was born healthy. I'll be having a RCS in a little over a week and all I can ask for is a safe birth for the both of us.  Also, this is the birth of your child and I can't stand when other people make comments about whats really none of their business.
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  • WhitWed said:

    The reason people criticize is because it validates their own experiences. This is what I remind myself when I hear condescending pregnancy or parenting advice. I chose a RCS over a VBAC because I actually had such a good experience with my first c/s and was not a good candidate due to a medical condition.  And it was a good thing I did because I ended up with a true knot in the cord which would have tightened with the breaking of the water and cut off oxygen had I attempted a vaginal delivery.  Plus LO was 12lb 6oz and I'm somewhat small so there was just no way no matter what anyone wants to say!

    I think as long as you are happy with your decision then no one should be able to take that away from you.  There is so much pressure on women today with way too many double edged swords. You should do this, you should do that, you should stay at home, you should work, you should only have x number of children, etc. In these situations the best thing I do is remember not to judge someone in a future situation. You can't change the other women, but you can remember how it feels to be judged and support another woman in the future with whatever decision she is making even if it doesn't match our ideals or our own experiences.  I wish you luck in your RCS and hope you have a memorable birth!

    Well said!
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  • I also know how you feel. I've had some really nosy questions and rude comments because I'm not trying for a VBAC. It has made me question myself at times which sucks. I think it also has contributed to my anxiety about having a RCS. I really wish people would mind their own business. 
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  • Try to remember that no one can live in your body but you, and therefore you need to make the decisions that are best for you and your baby.  It's not like you're choosing a rcs because you have some fashionable time table to adhere to, or because it's convenient.  You have rational and reasonable reasons for making this choice which I would bet are supported by your OB.  People are quick to judge and very, very slow to put themselves into someone else's shoes.  Do your best to ignore people who are ready to criticize because that means they haven't taken the time to try to understand your circumstances.  That's a flaw in them, not you. 

    I'm having a repeat because I'm not a candidate for VBAC due to spacing of my children.  I did my research.  I knew what my choices are = limited.  I've been lucky because people have only asked me why I wasn't choosing VBAC as an option to which I explain it isn't an option I have and why. 

    Hang tough and stay true to you.  Let those other people talk to themselves with all that noise!

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  • Don't let other people judge how you have given birth. :-(
    I have had 5 sections and will be having my 6th and last in April.
  • It's your body, your birth, your baby, and ultimately your decision.  Don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing what you and your doctor believe is best for you and your baby.

    For the record, I got tons of crap for wanting a VBAC.  My parents and H kept trying to talk me out of it.  I even got an "I told you so" when I had a RCS.  It's a simple fact of life that everyone knows what's best for you better than you do. 

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