March 2013 Moms

Tv and mil...

So I'll probably get beat up for this, but I don't want my little one watching tv until age 2. I know in a media filled world that's unrealistic and there may come a time where I cave and put a video on during a bad day but for now I am anti tv. So today I go to my MILs who has a 70" tv. Well she has the baby faced towards the tv so I make a comment about it. She LAUGHS at me and makes fun of me telling the baby he isn't going to rot his brain. I told her 8 more times to please turn the baby away from the tv. My FIL even said something and she still laughed every time. Then she tells us that when DH is little she just put him on a mattress on the floor and let him roll all night because she didn't like him rolling into the side of the crib. Um? And your parenting skills are top notch??

Re: Tv and mil...

  • Totally understand not wanting LO watching tv, I don't face him towards it but I personally need the background noise during the day. I'll catch LO staring at the tv when it is on and we're near it, thinking it's the constant noise and movement he finds interesting. Anyway, your mil really should just respect your wishes, especially when it's something you feel strongly about.

    IMO I think we've gotten a little hyper protective lately, cause there is a grain of truth to her "I just let him roll around on a mattress on the floor." Think about all the things our parents probably did with us that's now considered unthinkable! We all turned out fine. I'm sure it wasn't her intention to do something unsafe, who knows what we do now that our kids will think is the most ridiculous thing they've ever heard.
  • Same as PP.  I don't like DS 'watching' tv but need it on during the day just for the noise. I get antsy lol. I too catch him looking at it occasionally and try to keep him facing away. I would be frustrated if my efforts were thwarted by family. However, also as pp said, things were so different when we were kids. When my dad was baby sitting a couple weeks ago and I walked in to find DS napping face down on a fluffy blanket! I had a heart attack but my well meaning dad didn't understand what the problem was. I never thought of explaining everything to him because he raised my siblings and I, but things sure have changed since then! 

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  • Same here. I don't really want her watching tv. But I have it on all day for the noise. I don't face her towards it. But she is gonna watch some tv when it's on all day.
    Jenny DiLo
  • My MIL is similar...she watches TV all day long, and I've seen her sit with DD facing it like they were "watching" it together.  I am also trying to limit TV for DD, so I've made comments and she seems to respect my wishes - sorry your MIL isn't.  That's rude.

     And yes, things have definitely changed.  Sure, we all turned out all right, but there were obviously a lot of people who didn't, or things that happened that caused things to change. There's a reason for the way things are now...that's what I try to tell our parents - whether or not they actually listen I don't know. :)

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  • Is your MIL your caregiver during the day, or is this just an occasional thing? If she is your caregiver and you don't trust her to listen to your requests, then I think you need to get a new person to watch LO during the day. If this is one of those things where you were just visiting or whatever, I would personally turn the baby away from the TV and just sort of be generally annoyed at her laughing.

    DS1 didn't watch TV till 2 (and honestly barely watches it at 3) and we'll do the same for DS2.  I don't think it's unrealistic, honestly. Sure, during my ML I had the TV on but I never had the baby staring at it. Now we just don't even turn on the TV until after the kids go to bed except in rare instances.

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  • My ILs were trying to get DD to watch TV then I showed them these articles:

     Baby Einstein isn't educational

    14 months old Babies who watch TV score LOWER on Developmental tests than those who don't

     TV can stunt your child's development

    They never laughed in my face, but they thought we were being pretentious. Now they get it.

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  • mal922mal922
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    We are also holding off on introducing DS to TV until 2. Like many PPs, we keep it on as background noise, but I try to keep him turned away from it. My mother not only seems up think its a stupid rule, but complains that we play music while she's over now instead of having the TV on. I don't really get along with my mother, so this is no big surprise.
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  • Thanks all for your posts. At least I am not alone. I just don't keep the tv on, I don't think I've watched it in a couple months. My MIL isn't a regular babysitter but we see her every week because otherwise she makes a big stink and it's just not worth the drama. I just wish she could respect my wishes. I've been afraid to have her babysit because she doesn't listen and does whatever she wants and that just confirmed that.
  • I'm 50/50 with you guys on this.  I don't like the idea of LO watching TV, so when she goes to her Great Grandma's house where she gets rocked all day in front of Game Show Network... I'm not too thrilled.

    However - I know she loves the colors and the noise, so when we have the TV on for her, I like to make sure it's something "good".  Our favorite is music videos, or disney movies.  We sing and dance together with the music, and she has clear favorite songs and artists.  I figure as long as we aren't setting her in the bumbo in front of the TV and walking away, it's fine.  I'm not going to use the TV as a baby sitter, but I also don't want to let myself think I'm being a bad parent for having the TV on.

    One thing she ISN'T getting is an iPad when she's 2.  I don't want her to grow up needing to be constantly amused by electronics.

  • I am having a very similar frustration with the husband. He doesn't let LO watch t.v. But insists on watching loud, violent, shows in the background. I have tried asking him nicely  to turn the volume down, or watch something without shooting, etc. and he tells me it's already down as low as he can hear it, or turns it down 2 notches. Today LO has woken up from her nap 3 times and I'm sure it's from the loud t.v. video games. Any advice????
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