Underwhelming response?

Avion22

We told our parents and siblings about the pregnancy today.  Because of my job, I have to tell my boss this week, and it's likely that my coworkers will figure out I'm pregnant (I have to switch to different duties because my job is hazardous).  Once people at work find out, I can't guarantee that someone won't say something on Facebook...so it made sense to tell them now.   We told them this early last time as well (for the same reasons).

My mom's response?  "Oh. Well. That's nice." FMIL?  "Great."  FFIL?  "Are you sure this time?"  ?!?!?!?

Not the responses we were hoping for.

Our sisters, on the other hand, were both ecstatic.

Anyone else get an underwhelming response when telling family about a pregnancy after a loss? 

socialwkrsweetie

My step mom and Dad were definitely a little reserved when we told them but once they saw this weeks us they realized it was definitely real and are now REALLY excited. It's kind of funny. They said they were just scared for us so they didn't want to act too excited. I'm sorry their response was lack luster but hopefully they get better!

Avion22

Yeah, I kind of shamed my mom, and I think she felt bad...

GreenMom2B

Yes! My husband's family was less than enthusiastic when he told them. We had 3 miscarriages in the last 4 years. When he told his best friend he got the same response. He felt comfortable enough to ask him why. His BF said he was just very worried about me if we went through another loss.

They are starting to come around now at 20 weeks!

ShhItsASecret

Oh yes, pretty much both sides were reserved about me being pregnant after two losses, we are extremely close to our families and we all share everything. They are normally really good for support so we were pretty shocked and hurt... They will get excited, give them time. People are just cautious about loss and when they see a family member hurting they hurt as well, nobody wants to see a family member hurting in any way.
Hang in there!!!

Tink1704

I get that they are hesitant to be excited due to the previous loss, but they should at least be happy and supportive to you two. My dad was happy but reserved because he wants a grand baby so bad. He calls every week to see how things are going. Hope things get better and you get a more excited and supportive response soon.

KDS1987

Our parents were kept informed of our infertility journey so they were very excited to hear our news. I will say though that my mom and I are extremely close (she actually knew about the baby before DH due to the fact that I was having a spotting scare and he was in the field when I found out) and she confided in me that this has been extremely difficult for her because she did not want to see us go through the pain of another loss. I am sorry your parents didn't react the way that you had hoped for, but do keep in mind that they hurt when you hurt and might be playing down their excitement because of their own version of PGAL brain. Oh and our 1st loss we only lived about 8 hours from DH's brother but the rest of our family was 20 hours away. We visited them a week after we found out we were expecting and decided to tell them in person since we wouldn't get to tell the rest of our family in person, their response "I hope you are ready." Gee thanks guys, us too! Needless to say, they were the last to know this time around. 

ejb23

Yes, both sets of parents said something disappointing. I think they didn't want to set themselves and us up for more disappointment if it ended in a loss again. They've all come around since its later in the game now. Hang in there, I know it's frustrating and sad but I'm sure it will be better soon!

lindsayanne14

My DH wanted to wait a little longer to tell his parents about this PG because he felt our two losses were difficult for them. Even after we told them they still hardly mentioned the pregnancy until well into the second tri. They have since warmed up and are very excited to meet their first grandchild in a few weeks. For them, it wasn't a lack of excitement, it was more of being nervous about another loss. Hopefully your families will show their excitement more as your PG progresses.

JordanL1221

My parents and DH's parents were the same way. I feel like they were guarding themselves just as I was. It was disappointing though. I'm sorry!

skwiesen

Thank you for posting this. I have been worried about the response that I'm going to get when I tell my family too. I'm 8 weeks right now and lost my previous at 20w so I don't know if I will ever feel safe telling them. I'm going to wait till I'm about 14w to tell everyone and hope for a good response

poohbear033

My FIL could care less. He and his wife live an hour and a half away and he hasn't really ever been there for DH.

Avion22

So my mom sent me an e-card (?!?) that said that she IS excited, she just wasn't expecting it so soon after my return from Afghanistan (?!?!)   She knew that delaying TTC again because of the deployment was a cause of stress for me, and I've been home over a month....so....yeah.

I think you're right that they are just worried about us suffering another loss.  We're worried about that too, but keep reminding ourselves that they are two separate events.  But they weren't really terribly supportive or understanding when we were going through the loss in the first place...

 

bleusimp

My dad and bonus mom were so excited it really made me nervous. My mom, an L and D nurse who has had 2 losses herself, was very reserved. I asked her about it later, and she was just worried about me. She is over the top excited now and although this will be her 6th grandchild, it will be her first to attend the delivery of.

neptunebljc

My families were both very excited. We had two losses last year and had a hard tune getting pregnant. I think they all knew how much it meant to us and we all agreed that it is better to celebrate it now and enjoy what time we have with the bean growing inside compared to worrying about another loss.
And we told them before we had even confirmed at the obs. So it was great.
I do understand that they were hurt my mom drove me to the hospital for my first mc but I think your parents should realize you need support not more doubt. Because we all know we Pgals more then enough doubting.