Success after IF

Feeling guilty about weaning...

As of now, Grace is EBF. My goal since pregnancy was to EBF until 6 months and then wean to solids and formula.

I have been content with this plan from day 1, but lately I've started feeling guilty. I don't LOVE bfing, I've continued with it because of the benefits for baby. Selfishly, I miss my body. After back to back cycles of IVF + pregnancy + EBF for these past few months, I need a break! 6 months can't come soon enough.

Did anyone else feel guilty not letting baby self wean from the breast? It doesn't help that DH is VERY pro-BF, more for benefits for baby than money. I think his opinion has made me feel even more guilty.

Also- I have built quite a freezer stash. In your opinion, do you think I should give G one bottle of pumped BM until she is 10-12 months OR feed her all BM bottles from the stash for month #7 and then wean her to formula? WWYD? 

dx: MFI 0% morph & low count. Occasional Anovulatory cycles.

TTC #1
  • IVF #1 4/21/12 - c/p
  • IVF#2 8/1/12 - BFP! DD arrived 4/10/2013.

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TTC #2
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Re: Feeling guilty about weaning...

  • kaf7kaf7
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    I am feeling super guilty right now about the plan to wean next week. I'm in the other camp though where I enjoy breastfeeding. I am interested in the answers to your other question though. I have about 300400oz stored in the freezer which will last about 10 days if we go just ebm and then straight to formula. I think LO is going to transition easier if we mix it up a little though.

    Me: 32 (DOR) DH: 30 (azoo)
    TTC since 09/10

    Found sperm! 12/11 after 10 months of FSH and hCG injections
    IVF #1 04/12 - cancelled

    Surprise BFP on DHEA 06/27, Beta #1 1718 06/28!!!!
    Baby boy arrived March 11, 2013

    IVF/ICSI #2 on DHEA 10/13 - 8R, 3M, 1F. Polypectomy  11/13.

    FET 01/14...BFN
    Was OAD but am now exploring options 09/14-

  • mnj05mnj05
    250 Answers Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    I didn't love it either and was forced to stop due to supply at 3 weeks. I felt guilty because everyone seemed to be in the "it's what you're supposed to do" camp. It was more pity for H than anything I felt like I got from people, like formula wasn't good enough. DH was also pro BF but not horribly so and when I talked to him about not loving it and needing to quit because of my supply he was totally supportive.

    I don't have advice on weaning as we had been supplementing all along. My SIL EBF for 9 months then had to supplement because my niece had low iron. She still nursed before naps and bed but gave formula the rest of the day. She's in the process of weaning 1st birthday is in 9 days so she's cut out one nursing session. I think her plan is to cut one out for a week, cut another the second week, and the last one the third week.

    I hope the weaning goes well and try not to feel bad about it!

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    TTC #1 since 3/2011
    DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
    DH is a testicular cancer survivor
    IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
    ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
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    IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.

    FET #1 10/15/14 - Beta #1: 216  Beta #2: 823

  • I starting weaning DD at 6 months and did a very slow weaning. I dropped one feeding per week so it took 8 weeks to wean. I fed one bottle of BM from my frozen stash a day until it was gone.

    I weaned in order to TTC my second child. I felt not only guilty but I also missed BFing especially when I saw other moms BFing. Most of my mom friends I met at LLL. Thankfully they understood and supported my decision. If I could have known that I would get pregnant so quickly, I probably would have BF longer

    Edit I didn't mix BM and formula because DD wouldn't drink it mixed but she would drink straight BM or straight formula.

    TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!!  Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui) 

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  • Don't feel guilty at all. You're looking to make the best decision for YOU. And a happy mom will equal a happy baby!

    My plan was to stop at 4 months. But now I am thinking 6 if my supply will hold out. While I have not loved BFing at all it has gotten easier for me, which is the only reason I have pushed back my personal finish line. I totally understand wanting your body back. I long for the nights I can drink as much wine as I please, and I also long to go back to spin class and tone up after baby!
    Lastly I just want all of my clothes to fit normally again.

    Good luck in whatever decision you reach.

    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
    IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
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  • laura1laura1
    Long-Lasting Membership 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    Right there with you.  I didn't feel guilty with #1 - he was such a distracted eater it was a wrestling match to bf him, and we wanted to Ttc again.  I weaned him at 6 months then immediately got pg again with DD1.  I had a 1 month break between bfing and being pg again.

    With DD1, I had basically been pg or bfing for 2.5 years, when I weaned her at 7 months.  Again, didn't feel guilty - I was done and wanted my body back.

     Now, I am weaning DD2.  I feel badly this time, since she is my last baby, so I am weaning her slowly.  Dropping one feed a week.  Now down to 2 bfs a day.  This way I will get close to 8 months and still have a freezer stash.  I think when I am done, she will get one bottle of bm a day for a while.  She doesn't seem to mind at all :)  

    Good luck - my other 2 did fine on 6-7 months of bfing, and I am sure yours will too! 

    TTC#1 = Success on Cycle#19 with Clomid/trigger/b2b IUIs; beta#1 (15dpiui) 200, #2 (18dpiui) 433, #3 (22dpiui) 2356; TTC#2 = Surprise BFP 9/2009; TTC#3 = m/c at 6 wks, 10/29/11; BFP#2 4/1/2012... Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Penny I am in the same boat! I started feeling super guilty about cutting out BM when Sophie hit 4.5 months [this is when I started cutting pump sessions from my day]. I decided to give her all BM until 6 months as planned and continue to pump once a day for a full year to give her a little something. This obv depends on whether or not my supply will continue, but I guess I'll see how it goes. Right now I'm down to 2 pumps a day and working on eliminating the end of the night pump.

    I can't tell you which to choose bc it really is a personal choice. I can only say that I empathize with you since I am going through the same thing now. GL with your choice!! Let us know what you decide.


    TTC#1: 4/2010 - Me: 31 DH: 31 – unexplained
    9 medicated/monitored cycles = BFN | IVF 1.2 = BFP!!
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  • I understand. You are not at all a bad mom for wanting to be done. I pump and nurse, and I don't like it. My goal has changed from 6 months to 3. It just takes so much time, and I'm really struggling to keep up with my 3yo. DS1 was pretty much FF, and he's a bright, happy, energetic child. Your LO will be fine. My DH is complete fine with me FF, so I can only imagine it's hard when your DH is so pro BF. Gently remind him that it's your body.

    As far as using up your stash, do what you want. I don't think either way will make much of a difference.
    5 losses and several failed cycles
    2 miracles
    J born 4/19/10
    A born 5/16/13
  • I'm in camp do-what-works-for-your-family. Formula is an excellent source of nutrition. I have no judgement, and for my pumping sisters -let's be honest, pumping sucks. 

    Im really digging the breastfeeding. Im in no hurry to wean. Part of it is how hard J and I worked to make it happen (around 8w). The other thing is I put around 50lbs on with the pregnancy and BFing has melted off the weight! I'm able to eat anything and my boobs are amazing!

    I realize this isn't the story for everyone, but I think your child will be fine regardless of what you do in regards to feeding. 

    For those of you debating the distribution of the freezer stash, I was planning to ration it out to maximize the length of time BM would be given to J.  

    TTC Since 3/2010
    Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
    Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
    Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
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    Baby girl J arrived two weeks early! Born into water, med-free. Hooray for Team Pink!

    TTC #2 - back to the RE, treatment started 12/2014. 

  • Same here!!  I am going to wean at 6 as well and I started feeling sad / guilty about it.  I am with you on wanting a break and it wasn't easy to get here with BF (I am puming 100%). 

    I hope we can both say "WE DID IT!!!!!" instead of feeling guilty when the day comes. 

    Mar-Apr-May/12: All 3 IUI (w/ Femara) - BFN

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