October 2013 Moms

No family baby shower, bummed out

I'm going to quickly whine and you ladies can tell me if I need to get over myself. So my Aunt offered to throw me a family baby shower back in June with about 12-15 of our female relatives. She never asked about a date and I didn't want to be rude and bring it up so my mom told me just to wait and it would all get figured out. Well my mom talked to my aunt yesterday and basically she went on and on about how busy she is planning this 90th birthday for a relative on her husbands side and never mentioned the baby shower so my mom said to assume it is not happening. I am bummed out because I was looking forward to seeing the family on both sides before baby arrives. Also it's a bit awkward because I am worried many of my family members that we don't talk to all the time will just think they were snubbed and not invited to a shower, but I can't exactly call them and say "hey, I'm not having a shower because no one is hosting, sorry!"

Anyways I am a little hurt by my moms indifference and a little concerned about the situation but I guess it is best just to let it go. My sister (with help from my mom) is throwing me a wonderful shower September 7th with about 25 of my girl friends. Her house is small though and she had asked that we do a friends shower separate from family, which I was and am totally fine it. Luckily it means I still get to celebrate the excitement with people I love, just hoping I don't hurt any family members feelings! 

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Re: No family baby shower, bummed out

  • Nobody even asked your aunt about it? You're just going off an assumption? Maybe she's going off the assumption that you don't want to do it because you haven't said anything to her about it! Communication is key!

     

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  • image BrittanyCupcakes:

    Nobody even asked your aunt about it? You're just going off an assumption? Maybe she's going off the assumption that you don't want to do it because you haven't said anything to her about it! Communication is key!

     

    It would be rude to ask her aunt directly.

     OP, I can understand you don't want feelings hurt or things to be awkward with your relatives, but those are not your feelings to hurt because you are not hosting the showers. Anyway, I'm sure your relatives will ask your mom, aunt, or each other about a shower for you, so people will eventually find out why there isn't one and why. Again, you have no control over who throws you a shower or that you get one at all. As for being bummed that your mom was indifferent, I'm sure she isn't and that it would just be as awkward to further delve into the issue with your aunt as it would be for you. After all, you are asking for someone to throw you a shower. Embrace the shower you are getting.

         image  image

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  • ohkayohkay
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
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    image Mama2be12345:
    I'm going to quickly whine and you ladies can tell me if I need to get over myself. So my Aunt offered to throw me a family baby shower back in June with about 1215 of our female relatives. She never asked about a date and I didn't want to be rude and bring it up so my mom told me just to wait and it would all get figured out. Well my mom talked to my aunt yesterday and basically she went on and on about how busy she is planning this 90th birthday for a relative on her husbands side and never mentioned the baby shower so my mom said to assume it is not happening. I am bummed out because I was looking forward to seeing the family on both sides before baby arrives. Also it's a bit awkward because I am worried many of my family members that we don't talk to all the time will just think they were snubbed and not invited to a shower, but I can't exactly call them and say "hey, I'm not having a shower because no one is hosting, sorry!" Anyways I am a little hurt by my moms indifference and a little concerned about the situation but I guess it is best just to let it go. My sister with help from my mom is throwing me a wonderful shower September 7th with about 25 of my girl friends. Her house is small though and she had asked that we do a friends shower separate from family, which I was and am totally fine it. Luckily it means I still get to celebrate the excitement with people I love, just hoping I don't hurt any family members feelings!nbsp;


    This may seem rude to some, but I would ask your aunt if she is still wanting to throw a shower. She had already showed interest in throwing one. I don't see a problem with following up and asking.
  • ohkayohkay
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    This may seem rude to some, but I would ask your aunt if she is still wanting to throw a shower. She had already showed interest in throwing one. I don't see a problem with following up and asking. If she acts like she has a lot going on, I wouldn't push it.
  • Thanks for the advice guys, I don't talk to my aunt very often unless we are at a function together or calling for a specific reason so I'd feel rude calling just to ask about the shower. Our extended family is weird, everyone is very formal and we don't get together that often, just holidays and celebrations, so part of why I was looking forward to it. I'm considering doing a little dinner just for my grandmas and my DH's grandma just so they get to be involved, not a shower, just something to acknowledge them before LO comes. I guess I'll just see how I feel in September.
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  • bwralcbwralc
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    Your Mom should ask this aunt. She offered to throw the shower, your Mom can just call to find out details etc. maybe even she can call offering to help.
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  • Mae208Mae208
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer
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    image bwralc:
    Your Mom should ask this aunt. She offered to throw the shower, your Mom can just call to find out details etc. maybe even she can call offering to help.


    This is my thought too. And if your mom won't call her, then you may as well just call her yourself. It was rude of your aunt to say she would throw one, and then just completely drop it.
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  • It sounds like your aunt spoke too soon. I understand being disappointed but the situation is really out of your hands.

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  • image kicius56:

    It would be rude to ask her aunt directly.

     OP, I can understand you don't want feelings hurt or things to be awkward with your relatives, but those are not your feelings to hurt because you are not hosting the showers. Anyway, I'm sure your relatives will ask your mom, aunt, or each other about a shower for you, so people will eventually find out why there isn't one and why. Again, you have no control over who throws you a shower or that you get one at all. As for being bummed that your mom was indifferent, I'm sure she isn't and that it would just be as awkward to further delve into the issue with your aunt as it would be for you. After all, you are asking for someone to throw you a shower. Embrace the shower you are getting.

    I agree with all this. 

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  • image kicius56:
    image BrittanyCupcakes:

    Nobody even asked your aunt about it? You're just going off an assumption? Maybe she's going off the assumption that you don't want to do it because you haven't said anything to her about it! Communication is key!

     

    It would be rude to ask her aunt directly.

     OP, I can understand you don't want feelings hurt or things to be awkward with your relatives, but those are not your feelings to hurt because you are not hosting the showers. Anyway, I'm sure your relatives will ask your mom, aunt, or each other about a shower for you, so people will eventually find out why there isn't one and why. Again, you have no control over who throws you a shower or that you get one at all. As for being bummed that your mom was indifferent, I'm sure she isn't and that it would just be as awkward to further delve into the issue with your aunt as it would be for you. After all, you are asking for someone to throw you a shower. Embrace the shower you are getting.



    It would only be rude if her aunt had never offered. Asking if she had selected a date or if since her aunt wasn't doing it if her mom wanted to get the families together so noone felt left out of a big family life event might not come across as rude.
    imageimage

  • ohkayohkay
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
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    image Mama2be12345:
    Thanks for the advice guys, I don't talk to my aunt very often unless we are at a function together or calling for a specific reason so I'd feel rude calling just to ask about the shower. Our extended family is weird, everyone is very formal and we don't get together that often, just holidays and celebrations, so part of why I was looking forward to it. I'm considering doing a little dinner just for my grandmas and my DH's grandma just so they get to be involved, not a shower, just something to acknowledge them before LO comes. I guess I'll just see how I feel in September.


    I think a dinner is a great idea!
  • ohkayohkay
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    image Mama2be12345:
    Thanks for the advice guys, I don't talk to my aunt very often unless we are at a function together or calling for a specific reason so I'd feel rude calling just to ask about the shower. Our extended family is weird, everyone is very formal and we don't get together that often, just holidays and celebrations, so part of why I was looking forward to it. I'm considering doing a little dinner just for my grandmas and my DH's grandma just so they get to be involved, not a shower, just something to acknowledge them before LO comes. I guess I'll just see how I feel in September.


    I think a dinner is a great idea!
  • Is there a chance it's a surprise? My family LOVES having surprise baby showers. Otherwise, I agree with pp that you should push your mom to ask what's going on.
    image
  • Maybe its going to be a big surprise? 
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