February 2013 Moms

pacifier and bed time

I'm sure some of you have this problem too and I'm just wondering what the consensus is on what to do...

DD is typically great at putting herself to sleep. She always goes down awake and will fall asleep. Some nights she will fall asleep and then wake up whining and crying because she dropped her pacifier. She doesn't use it all night long, so it's not like it constantly needs to be there. It seems to only be when she wakes up and needs to fall back asleep. She's usually done with this nonsense by the time we go to bed, so it's not that big of a deal... Just annoying. Some nights I have to go back in 8 times to replace it.

I really don't want to take it away yet. I also have a hard time letting her cry too long because I know that as soon as she has it back she'll be happy and roll her head over to fall asleep again.

What do I do?

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Re: pacifier and bed time

  • I'm no help, but dying to see responses. We have a similar problem.  She needs it to go to sleep initially, then maybe twice in the night before wanting to eat around 5 am, but it falls out and she can stay asleep for a while without it. 

    She used to be awesome as going to sleep, but now with teething, she keeps dropping paci to chew on her hand....not helpful. If I try to let her CIO, I still have to go try paci every 10 mins once she exhausts herself.

     Anyway, didn't mean to hijack, just sort of in the same boat.  


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  • No help for the paci dilemma, but we switched from Soothie to NUK, and they seem to stay in better.
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  • I'm another one in the same boat.  DD doesn't put herself to sleep yet, 9 times out of 10 she's already out cold on my boob before I have the chance to put her down awake... but about 30-45 minutes after I put her down, like clockwork I have to retrieve her pacifier for her.  It's usually just that once and then most of the time she will sleep anywhere from 4-7 hours, eat once, and then sleep til morning. So it's easier to take a minute or two to do that than to let her cry and wake up even more, because she is really not a good self-soother yet. 

    It's not to the point that it's a huge problem, just mildly annoying, that she has trouble getting through that first sleep cycle before she settles for the night.  So I don't know that sleep training is the right solution for us, at least not yet, since DD is usually a good sleeper otherwise, although like most babies she does have the occasional rough night.

    But yeah.  Nothing to contribute other than my empathy on this one.  Interested to see if anyone has any good solutions!

     

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  • I actually posted about this s couple times myself. J was exactly how your describing above. We had been putting him down awake since he was about 3 and a half months old with his paci but for us, it did untimitly become an issue.

    First, he started fully waking up for his paci instead of just wining in his sleep. He still went back to sleep on his own so I wasn't too worried. Then, since he was fully awake when we went in he starting protesting a little as we left. It still wasn't that big of a deal. In the end he starting have a total meltdown each time we went in to replace the paci. In the midst of his meltdown he would lose the paci again. It was bad. I knew we had to get rid of it. In our case we sort of knew the only solution for our situation was sleep training. Let me tell you I hated the idea and was totally against it but my husband convinced me that we should give it a shot. So we did. Relitive to other babies I've heard of, J did great! He never cried for more then 15 min. It was still super hard for me. I cried and even posted about it on here. That said, I'm very glad we did it and it is nice not to have to worry about the pacifier.

    In the end, I don't regret using the pacifier for sleep at all. It worked great for a long time. I also think that it's the reason J responded so well to sleep training. He already new how to self soothe, he just had to learn how to do it without his paci. Also, this may never happen with your baby. She may figure out how to put it back herself before any of this is ever an issue. I think what happened with J is that he started to figure out that we were still there even though we weren't in his room. No longer out of sight out of mind. Once he realized that even the pacifier wasn't enough. My thought is, if your Ok with the way things are go ahead and keep doing it and just see what happens. It may not be a terrible idea a read a sleep traing book now if that's something you think may eventually happen. That way, if you see that there's a problem you can start sleep training right away instead of starting a bunch of other sleep associations that will make sleep training a lot harder/longer process.

    Sorry this ended up being super long! And, I'm mobile so there are probably a bunch of errors!

    ETA I just wanted to also say that they are sleep training methods that are a little gentler if it ever comes to that. Like the sleep lady shuffle. I know DC2London said she was using that one.

    HTH!
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  • Okay, ladies, I believe I can be of some help here, and it was a completely no-cry solution for us(I am not AT ALL against CIO, mind you :).

    I used to really like Josie having her pacifier at night, because if she woke up, I could just pop it back in her mouth and get another 30 mins - an hour or so of sleep before I had to feed her. (This was back during the first 2 - 3 months home, so she was waking LOTS and I was dead tired) After the third month, though, the paci started to become the bane of my existence... She started waking up just for me to give her the darn thing...

    Now, I can't remember for the life of me where I read about this, or maybe I thought of it myself, but I decided the paci would only be for naps and during the day when I need her to calm down for a moment.
    The way this happened was that, first, I made sure we had a solid bedtime routine.
    I wipe her gums after her last bottle, swaddle her, and lay her on my chest while I rock gently in the glider and I hum her some songs(which just so happen to be the songs her mobile plays, so I'm hoping she can use it to put herself to sleep when she's older). These are all things that do not happen at any other time of the day(she tummy sleeps unswaddled during the day and I don't rock her to sleep for naps, just put her down and pop the paci in her mouth).
    Anyways, after I knew she was very aware that these things meant bedtime, it was basically the easiest thing ever to ditch the paci for nighttime.

    Now, it has been so long since we started doing this, so I don't remember if she put up a protest, but I really don't think she did at all. My magic cure was to use the pacifier in our bedtime routine, but to remove it BEFORE I put her down. It is SO important that you take it away before that baby's head touches the bed, and NOT after they're asleep(I tried that, it totally doesn't work!)... Now when I rock her and hum to her, she has the pacifier in her mouth. I simply wait until she gives in and rests her head against me and I know she is *almost* asleep. This is when I gently take it out of her mouth. If she lifts her head up, I give the paci right back. When I can take it from her and she no longer protests by lifting her head, I know she is ready, and I lay her down in her crib. This takes less than 10 minutes.

    I'm telling you, this works awesomely. If she doesn't fall asleep with the thing in her mouth, then she doesn't expect it to be there when she wakes between sleep cycles, so she just puts herself right back to sleep.

    We do an altered version of this for MOTN feedings, of which she has weaned herself down to only one, at ~5AM(she goes to bed at ~7PM). I don't turn on any lights MOTN, and I don't speak to or make eye contact with the baby at all during this feeding. When she's done eating, I re-swaddle her and rock her with her paci, I don't hum to her. She pretty much goes instantly back to sleep after the pacifier is removed and she is laid down in the crib. She then wakes for the day at ~9AM. I never give her the paci in the morning to try and get some extra sleep- when she wakes for the day, I get up with her.

    I apologize for the novel I wrote here, I just want to make sure I'm not leaving anything out so you ladies can see what works for me and hopefully tailor it for your own babies. I really hope you find something here that helps you!
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  • I love the suggestions from the pp's.  We did the same, although it was more like "cold turkey" for us.  Once I decided the paci was becoming a problem for us AND for DS, I think we only used it once more.  He didn't seem to need it or want it as much as I thought he did.  

    As pp said, I still give it to him if he is fussy during the day, but he absolutely does not get it as he is falling asleep.  And though it has only been 2 weeks, he pretty much refuses it now, which makes me feel better about my decision to wean him from it.   

    Good luck! 

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    "You reach deeper until you can find the strength.  That's all life is, one big fight after another."

    Angel babies: 9/19/07, 10/08/09, 1/05/11

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