February 2013 Moms

Would this bother you? DC related

DS goes to daycare at a center 3 days/week, but will be full time in two weeks. At first I thought this place was great, but I'm starting to get concerned.

1. At home, he eats every 2 to 3 hrs. At daycare they are only feeding him every 5 hrs, even though they know he eats more frequently at home. Like I mentioned in a post yesterday, he has issues with slow weight gain as it is.

2. I asked one of his teachers the other day what toys he likes to play with there so I could have some new ideas for home. She said there really isn't anything specific because he is pretty young for toys. He is almost 5 months and loves toys at home.

3. The past few times I have picked him up he has been laying on the floor alone.

I'm starting to get concerned. Am I overreacting?
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Re: Would this bother you? DC related

  • khazekhaze
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    No I don't think you're overreacting. The well being of your child should always be your concern and if you are having any doubts about his care takers I think it's time to find a new provider that you are more comfortable with.

    Declan 2.21.2013
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  • I personally would be concerned, but I can see a few reasons why this may happen.. 

    1. Is he bottle fed at home? If he's breastfed at home and bottlefed at daycare, it could be that he's getting more milk in a bottle which keeps him full longer. If this might be the case, you can do a weighted feeding to find out how much he's eating at the breast.  (We started giving DD slightly bigger bottles and she's now gone from every 2 hours like clockwork to every 2.5-3. Not a huge difference, but a difference.)

    2.  No clue on this one. (My kid is happy with or without toys, but she's almost always near a toy when I pick her up.)

    3. Depending on the number of kids, this is going to happen. If your son is content to be laying alone and another kid is freaking out, they'll hold the one that's freaking out. (Most days, DD is content to lay on the floor and play with a toy or under a toy.. She's never too far from one of the teachers, and she's always pretty content.. But if he's not even getting toys, I don't see how he's engaged in anything).

     

    I think you're right to be concerned - have you brought up concerns beyond the toys with your DCP or the director of your program? They may have a great reason for some of these things that alleviates your concerns.. And if they don't or they don't think there's a problem, then you know your mommy gut is right and it's time to start looking. 

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  • I would probably be concerned about #1, but not #2 or #3. It's going to be impossible for a day care center to give LO as much attention as you would at home with one-on-one care. My DD hardly ever plays with toys at home because my older daughter requires a lot of attention and I forget to give the baby something to play with. She's a very happy baby most of the time though, and when she's unhappy, she definitely doesn't want a toy. At a daycare center, I imagine only the unhappy babies would get attention, so if yours is pretty calm most of the time then she probably gets ignored. 
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  • image Karla CS:

    I personally would be concerned, but I can see a few reasons why this may happen.. 

    1. Is he bottle fed at home? If he's breastfed at home and bottlefed at daycare, it could be that he's getting more milk in a bottle which keeps him full longer. If this might be the case, you can do a weighted feeding to find out how much he's eating at the breast.  (We started giving DD slightly bigger bottles and she's now gone from every 2 hours like clockwork to every 2.5-3. Not a huge difference, but a difference.)

    2.  No clue on this one. (My kid is happy with or without toys, but she's almost always near a toy when I pick her up.)

    3. Depending on the number of kids, this is going to happen. If your son is content to be laying alone and another kid is freaking out, they'll hold the one that's freaking out. (Most days, DD is content to lay on the floor and play with a toy or under a toy.. She's never too far from one of the teachers, and she's always pretty content.. But if he's not even getting toys, I don't see how he's engaged in anything).

     

    I think you're right to be concerned - have you brought up concerns beyond the toys with your DCP or the director of your program? They may have a great reason for some of these things that alleviates your concerns.. And if they don't or they don't think there's a problem, then you know your mommy gut is right and it's time to start looking. 

    I agree with this, except I think 5 hours between feedings is extreme....how many times do they feed him at DC?  Once?  I would talk to the director asap.  A good director would meet with you right away if you expressed concerns.

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  • I would be concerned about the feeding!  The other things are pretty typical daycare - attention is spread among multiple kids.  If they didn't feed my child, I'd pretty upset though.

     

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  • Thanks so much for the replies! We send four bottles of formula, and they have only been feeding two. He eats at home around 6, they are feeding him at 11 and 4. If he were at home, he would be eating at least 3 if not 4 of the same sized bottles in that timeframe. If he isn't hungry, he isn't hungry, and I still want them to feed him on demand, but I'm already concerned about his slow weight gain, so this is contributing.

    I know not to expect them to play with him all day, but when he is only eating twice and taking a total of an hour and a half of naps, and he doesn't really play with toys, it makes me wonder what he is doing all day...

    I do tend to overreact though, so I appreciate your honest opinions!
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  • My DD is in daycare 2 days a week, and she has the same eating problem, she eats 6oz every 3 hours at home, but not there. I asked about it and talked to some friends and her doctors, and they said that a full time daycare kid can take 2 weeks to adjust to being fed by someone else and with the new sounds and distractions, but since my DD only goes 2 times a week it will take longer.

    We did talk with her teacher and they try to feed her in a quieter area away from toys in the room. The good thing for us is that the ratio is 1:3 when they are full and currently they only have 3 other kids, so she gets a lot of 1:1 time.

  • I would be VERY concerned about the feeding part IMO 5 hours during the day is way to long between feedings and I would address that right away

    As far as the second concern te teacher may have been miss understood. He probably plays with lots of toys at the daycare. She may har ment that since he is still young an plays with a variety of toys he maybe hasn't attached to just one toy or doesn't really love one toy over another yet

    As far at laying on the floor with out toys is not a bed thing. From working on an infant room for 5 years it is important for children and babies to have unstimulated play/down time to just look around discover things like feet, hands, tongue, and make new noises and what not : I have my LO do down time on the floor just like he would/does tummy time :

    These are just my opinions you do what you feel is right for LO and what makes you feel comfortable
  • My LO ate significantly less at daycare until she adjusted. My pedi said to give her time to adjust before we try an address it and eventually she picked it up. DD is also not a fussy baby so I always found her sitting in the bouncer by herself. She seemed to really enjoy watching all the commotion. I was concerned too but it all worked out :
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  • I would definitely be concerned about the feedings, especially since you've had weight gain issues. I'd talk to them about it ASAP. 5 hours is a long time for a baby to go without eating.
  • image petere:
    From working on an infant room for 5 years it is important for children and babies to have unstimulated play/down time to just look around discover things like feet, hands, tongue, and make new noises and what not

     We spend a lot of time playing without toys. Usually when we get home, I put a blanket in the backyard and we 'play' together (no toys, since I always would forget but then realized she's just as happy without them).. Practice rolling, singing songs, etc, or just relax and watch the sky. Best part of the day.

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