Loss

To sick to live?

I am 23 weeks and my baby is expected to be born sleeping although I still feel him moving at the moment. The Dotors recommend I terminate the pregnancy. The problem I have is they really don't know what went wrong. They think most likely a virus but the TOURCH screen was ok. I feel like I'm the last person to give up and when your Mum gives up who do you have left. I just don't know what to do.

Re: To sick to live?

  • I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Have you thought about seeking a second opinion? You deserve to have as much information as possible. Sending you lots of TP. ::::HUGS::::
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  • I am so sorry. I would also definitely seek a 2nd opinion. I know it's a very hard thing to cope with and you never ever go into a pregnancy expecting to have this happen. My son had already passed when I needed to deliver him so I don't have any solid advice but if you need to talk about anything at all or would like advice on what to expect or maybe do when the time comes please feel free to message me.
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  • I am so sorry. A second and even third opinion might be really helpful. Also, have they offered an amnio to see if they can get additional information? We lost our daughter to a fatal trisomy last year. A consult with a genetic counselor might also be helpful if they think it is something chromosomal instead of a virus. You and your baby will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  • I would echo getting more opinions. Some who deliver children that have terminal illnesses choose to carry their baby as long as they are able to, some choose to terminate. Do more research on the type of virus and see what it means for your baby. 

    The decision to terminate is a very personal decision. Whatever you decide is going to be right for you, so dont second guess your decision.  

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  • I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. As others have said, get another opinion. And whatever you decide is right for you. Big hugs and lots of strength coming your way.
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  • I agree with what others have said about getting other opinions.  You are this baby's mother and should do what feels right for you.  I'm so sorry that you are having to make this decision and hope that things work out for the best.  As a side note I had a friend who was about as far along as you when she found out that the baby's kidneys had never developed.  Doctors told her the baby would not survive and they recommended terminating the pregnancy.  She however felt strongly against terminating the pregnancy and went through the whole pregnancy and delivered the baby normally.  The baby did pass away after a few hours but she did what she felt was right for her and her baby.  Hope this helps in some way.

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  • image Noethola:

    I would echo getting more opinions. Some who deliver children that have terminal illnesses choose to carry their baby as long as they are able to, some choose to terminate. Do more research on the type of virus and see what it means for your baby. 

    The decision to terminate is a very personal decision. Whatever you decide is going to be right for you, so dont second guess your decision.  

    I agree with this. I am so, so sorry you are in this position. Get as much info as you can before making a decision. ((((hugs))))

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  • Thanks everyone for your support. I did have Amnio as well and all that came back ok as well. At 24 weeks tomorrow he has brain sparing IURG. And echogenic foci dotted around his abdomen, brain and heart are ok. I feel it would be easier to let nature take its course rather than actively ending the pregnancy. This may have been different with a conferimed diagnosis, I don't know as they aren't the cards I was dealt. He will be my third boy. 8 years behind his next brother. There are times when I feel if he wasn't and unplanned 3rd boy but a 1st IVF baby more would be getting done to help him.
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