OK. My sister (10yrs my elder), her youngest son left 6 months ago to join the Air force. Her baby left the coop, so empty nest syndrome kicked in for her something awful. She was living 3 hours away, working a job that had her on call 6 days a week and was miserable and alone (I know because I received 6 calls a day about it) Anyway, She said she wanted to live closer to family, spend time with my DS and find a job less demanding. Her funds were limited, so I offered her to come stay here if she wanted and we could come to an agreement. I offered her rent/bill free room and board if she could help with household chores, split the workload with me on laundry and general cleaning and watch DS one night a week so that DH and I could finally have some couple time and have a nice movie night or 2hr dinner out/date night. She agreed. She's always been more of a neat freak than I am.
Well, the first month went great. She helped with chores, but still had all the free time in the world to apply for jobs and go to interviews ( I am a SAHM, so I never needed her to do daytime babysitting). Then, she met a guy. After only knowing him for one week, she invited him over to my house during our weekly date night while she was watching DS. I was not really comfortable with having a stranger that she even barley knows in my house, with my child and I never met this man myself. We came home and found him lounging in my game room. I acted polite and figured I would speak to her about it after he left that evening. I went to bed. I woke up the next morning, and his car is still parked in front of the house. WTF?! She had him stay, didn't bother to ask me, run it past me....nothing!
I talked to her about it and she BLEW UP cussing at me, saying I'm being ridiculous yadda, yadda and from that point on she stopped helping around the house all together. Fast forward three months later. She doesn't speak to me, let alone help with anything around the house. Barely acknowledges DS and will take off to her boyfriends house for three days, never letting me know when she's leaving or coming home. Random pop ins to get more clothes and then leaves. Tonight, I attempted to talk to her about why she's not living up to her part of the agreement and she went off on this rant about how "some of us aren't lucky enough to have a husband to take care of things" (I chose to stay at home with LO, before that, I worked 50hr weeks), she screamed and yelled about being expected to do things, called me names and stated 5 times that she could get her sh@t out tonight and leave and after all that, I just said well then fine, do that. Stop yelling in my house, My husband and I don't ever scream or have drama in our home. We're pretty laid back people and our worst tiff in the last 6 months is about who's doing dishes while the other person takes out trash. Lol.
I don't feel like I'm in the wrong and I hate confrontation. Plus, it's my sister so I feel bad there is this rift between us. Could I have handled it better? I really felt like I had to let her know that boundaries had been crossed and I expected more.
Thanks for reading.