Working Moms

Judgement Thursday

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends...."

I judge people who give their children normal names with crazy spellings (think Soosahnna or Aleesheyah).  Names do actually matter when applying to schools or finding a job, and you're burdening your kid because you think it's "fun" to be unique.  

And I judge people who switch LO from RF to FF as soon as they turn 1 and then say that it's the law so it must be OK.  RF is safer.  Period.  Yes, it's your kid, and you can make stupid decisions if you want, but don't think that it's a good idea just because it's not illegal.  It's not illegal to feed your 1yo soda and cheetos either, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. 

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Re: Judgement Thursday

  • I judge babies, toddlers and many young girls in bikinis. Forget the sexualization aspect, why would you want to worry about having to sunscreen that much more skin? My poor daughter is going to be in a rash guard until college.

    And speaking of college, I judge a relative of mine who is freaking out because her kids may have to work during college. They have scholarships and prepaid tuition, consider them lucky. I worked, so did my H and my brother is currently doing it. They will be fine. Be grateful for the tuition prepaid and scholarship, suggest going local and living at home and step away from the loans!
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  • image LibraryChica:

    And speaking of college, I judge a relative of mine who is freaking out because her kids may have to work during college. They have scholarships and prepaid tuition, consider them lucky. I worked, so did my H and my brother is currently doing it. They will be fine. Be grateful for the tuition prepaid and scholarship, suggest going local and living at home and step away from the loans!

    This is such good advice.  I had a job 3 of 4 years undergrad, and did so much better in my studies when I was working (and playing a varsity sport).  Having lots to do forced me to prioritize and stop procrastinating.  Andplusalso, the debt load students are graduating with these days is truly scary.  I know grads who have loan payments that are more than their rent (in Boston, so rent isn't cheap!), and they literally can't make ends meet on a good entry-level job because their loan payments are so high.  Especially given the job market, I'd tell a relative to do anything they can to lessen their student loan debt. 

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  • SoMoNYSoMoNY
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    image FemShep:

    I judge people who give their children normal names with crazy spellings (think Soosahnna or Aleesheyah).  Names do actually matter when applying to schools or finding a job, and you're burdening your kid because you think it's "fun" to be unique.  

     Amen!

     

  • Having a job and working while going to college IMO is SOOO beneficial. I learned so much and prepared me for a lot of what you have to deal with in the working world outside of the actual work.... Sure I needed to work to pay for living expenses and tuition, but I can honestly say that even if we manage to pay for our children's college tuition/books...They will still be expected to work for spending and most living expenses because it is such a good learning experience.

    Amazingly I am feeling judgement free this week. 

     

     

  • jc&catjc&cat
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    image LibraryChica:
    I judge babies, toddlers and many young girls in bikinis. Forget the sexualization aspect, why would you want to worry about having to sunscreen that much more skin? My poor daughter is going to be in a rash guard until college.

    Ha! All of this. My SIL bought DD a triangle top and frilly bottom suit. It looks great with the rash guard over it. Big Smile

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  • My judgment is lame but it's my toddler's birthday party on Saturday and surprisingly MOST people actually RSVPd! Except, my nanny's worthless daughter.  She sucks at life and annoys me to no end.  I judge her because she can't get her *** together to RSVP for a freaking birthday party for this Saturday. 

    Also she constantly leaves her kids at my house with my nanny (her mother) to do things when she knows I pay her mom and it's hard on her mother to have 4 small kids in the house.  She shows her mom no kind of consideration.  I also admit it's partially my fault for having this relationship be so "friendly" and not business-like.


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  • I judge people who homeschool their kids.  There I said it.  Both of my sisters-in-law homeschool their kids.  Yes, they have degrees but neither are/were teachers and I think their kids are going to be worse off for it. 

    One kid is showing major signs of autism but his mother ignores it.  The others, by the other SIL, are total rotten brats and she spends most of their "school day" going to petting zoos and teacher her daughter to sew. She thinks "life skills are more important than academics" (this is a verbatim quote). 

     

  • I judge parents who think their precious little darlings shouldn't have to work while in college, especially if their kid is only taking the minimum full-time 12 credit load.  They should easily be able to handle 12 credits and work a part-time, 20 hour a week job.  Stop paying their rent, their cell phone bill, their cable bill, their spring break vacation, their books, their food and entertainment and let them do something for themselves for once.

    Oh, and since rear-facing was brought up, I judge people who judge people who turn their kids forward facing and feel the need to lecture about how rear facing is safer.  Yes, I get it, it's safer.  But, driving in a car with a screaming, crying and vomiting one and half year old doesn't make for safe driving either so everything is a trade off.

    Also on the subject of car seats, I judge mothers who repost pictures of their friends kids in car seats on Facebook for the sole purpose of pointing out how the straps are incorrectly fastened or how the strap fell off the kids shoulder or how the kid isn't rear facing, etc.  and then say something like "my friend just posted this pic of their sleeping daughter, she's darling but look at that strap, gosh, I hope they made it home okay."  What is the point?  To prove that you're a better mom because you have never ever messed up your car seat but cloak it in concern for their safety?  I'm guessing they are posting these in such a fashion that the friend never sees it.

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

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  • SoMoNYSoMoNY
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    I judge parents with heavy kids who continue to feed them Doritos and soda while at park, zoo, beach

     

  • image 82Sonia:

    I judge people who homeschool their kids.  There I said it.  Both of my sisters-in-law homeschool their kids.  Yes, they have degrees but neither are/were teachers and I think their kids are going to be worse off for it. 

    One kid is showing major signs of autism but his mother ignores it.  The others, by the other SIL, are total rotten brats and she spends most of their "school day" going to petting zoos and teacher her daughter to sew. She thinks "life skills are more important than academics" (this is a verbatim quote). 

    I don't judge people who homeschool; I understand why some people want to do it.  However, I judge people who homeschool with absolutely no consideration about what will happen when their darling grows up and gets out into the real world.  Interacting with other people is important.  Respecting the rules of society is important.

    Example:  at a pool party, kids were in line to jump off the diving board.  John Homeschooled* ran around to the other side of the diving board, ignored the kids in line, and jumped off.  His sister, Suzie Homeschooled, told the other kids, "Oh, you need to let John go.  He hasn't learned to wait in line yet."  Mama Homeschooled saw this, heard Suzie's remark, and chimed in, "That's right, Suzie, John hasn't learned about lines yet, so he gets to go."  John was 6, with no developmental disabilities or other behavioral issues (except, apparently, an utter lack of boundaries and manners).  The other parents and kids exchanged crazy WTF looks. 

    *This actually happened.  Names changed to protect the not-so-innocent. ;) 

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  • image SoMoNY:
    I judge parents with heavy kids who continue to feed them Doritos and soda while at park, zoo, beachnbsp;


    Me too. and in general anyone who is giving their tiny kids junk. I get at some point your kids are going to want what everyone else is having. but we teach DD that some things are just for special occasions like birthday parties, not everyday food
  • image mexicolombiana:

    Also she constantly leaves her kids at my house with my nanny (her mother) to do things when she knows I pay her mom and it's hard on her mother to have 4 small kids in the house.  She shows her mom no kind of consideration.  I also admit it's partially my fault for having this relationship be so "friendly" and not business-like.


    If her mom worked at any other job, she wouldn't be able to drop her kids off, so if it bothers you that much, I'd put a stop to it.  And if it's hard on your nanny to watch that many kids, it could have a negative impact on your kids.

    My judgement is about other people's driving.  I'm tired of people running stop signs and red lights in my area.  And people who stay in the left lane going under the speed limit.  It's the law to move to the right unless you are passing.  I live near the Canadian border, and many of these violators are Canadians.  But they have the exact same laws in Canada! 

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  • image LibraryChica:
    I judge babies, toddlers and many young girls in bikinis. Forget the sexualization aspect, why would you want to worry about having to sunscreen that much more skin? My poor daughter is going to be in a rash guard until college.  

    Just to play advocate - 2 piece swimsuits are soooo much easier for diapers and potty training.  So would tankinis be ok?  or the rash guard top with separate bottom?  And what about indoor pools - are bikinis ok there? 

    (FWIW DD wears a one-piece rashguard suit and I think bikinis are weird just because I don't understand how they stay in place for active kids with nothing to hold the top there yet.)  


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  • image itsmevkb:

    Also on the subject of car seats, I judge mothers who repost pictures of their friends kids in car seats on Facebook for the sole purpose of pointing out how the straps are incorrectly fastened or how the strap fell off the kids shoulder or how the kid isn't rear facing, etc.  and then say something like "my friend just posted this pic of their sleeping daughter, she's darling but look at that strap, gosh, I hope they made it home okay."  What is the point?  To prove that you're a better mom because you have never ever messed up your car seat but cloak it in concern for their safety?  I'm guessing they are posting these in such a fashion that the friend never sees it.

    OMG. Who does that? I guess those mom's think they have too many friends and aren't worried about loosing some?

     



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  • image FemShep:

    Example:  at a pool party, kids were in line to jump off the diving board.  John Homeschooled* ran around to the other side of the diving board, ignored the kids in line, and jumped off.  His sister, Suzie Homeschooled, told the other kids, "Oh, you need to let John go.  He hasn't learned to wait in line yet."  Mama Homeschooled saw this, heard Suzie's remark, and chimed in, "That's right, Suzie, John hasn't learned about lines yet, so he gets to go."  John was 6, with no developmental disabilities or other behavioral issues (except, apparently, an utter lack of boundaries and manners).  The other parents and kids exchanged crazy WTF looks. 

    *This actually happened.  Names changed to protect the not-so-innocent. ;) 

    You'd better believe my immediate response would have been, "Well then I guess it's time he learned"  Yeah your brat doesn't get a pass to behave badly because you are too lazy to teach him better.  If you won't do it, then his peers (other kids) have the right to tell what the rules that EVERYONE have to follow are.

    Line cutters are one of my HUGE pet peeves and it seems like there are just more and more people who think that the rules don't apply to them and most people are afraid (or maybe too nice, not me) to call them out on it.

    ETA: My mom ran a daycare when I was growing up so I've been keeping younger kids in line since age 5. Stick out tongue

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  • LoCarbLoCarb
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    Along the same lines of over eating- I judge those who received gastric bypass surgery to lose weight and then hit the vending machine multiple times a day,
    Mommy of two girls: DD1 4/14/9 DD2 4/15/11
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  • image EMO-mamma:

    image LibraryChica:
    I judge babies, toddlers and many young girls in bikinis. Forget the sexualization aspect, why would you want to worry about having to sunscreen that much more skin? My poor daughter is going to be in a rash guard until college.  

    Just to play advocate - 2 piece swimsuits are soooo much easier for diapers and potty training.  So would tankinis be ok?  or the rash guard top with separate bottom?  And what about indoor pools - are bikinis ok there? 

    (FWIW DD wears a one-piece rashguard suit and I think bikinis are weird just because I don't understand how they stay in place for active kids with nothing to hold the top there yet.)  



    Obviously bikinis are ok everywhere as no one has voted me the bathing suit police yet! I was thinking more bikini tops, I guess. DD wears a rash guard with short bottoms. Best of both worlds.
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  • Oh and I agree. Skipping lines is rude!
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  • LoCarbLoCarb
    5000 Comments 250 Answers Sixth Anniversary 100 Love Its
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    image FemShep:
    image 82Sonia:



    *This actually happened.  Names changed to protect the not-so-innocent. ;) 

    lol 

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  • image 82Sonia:

    I judge people who homeschool their kids.  There I said it.  Both of my sisters-in-law homeschool their kids.  Yes, they have degrees but neither are/were teachers and I think their kids are going to be worse off for it. 

    One kid is showing major signs of autism but his mother ignores it.  The others, by the other SIL, are total rotten brats and she spends most of their "school day" going to petting zoos and teacher her daughter to sew. She thinks "life skills are more important than academics" (this is a verbatim quote). 

     

    Me too! Unless it is exceptional circumstances I think Homeschooling is the worst idea ever! 

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  • My judgement this week stems from family drama.  I judge single mothers who are completely ok with receiving child support from both ex's for her 5 children, doesn't work or make an attempt at finding work and doesn't make any effort to support her children and then pulls the "it's for the kids" line in order to get even more money on the side which is then used for her fun and not the kids.  Get up, get a job, and support your children! Rant over...
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  • I judge myself today, mom guilt for sure.  I've been working long hours, its been like 100 degrees out this week and I overbooked our weekend, so I've been crabby.  I lost it last night when my 3yo wacked my 6yo in the head with a toy and gave him a huge bump while I was walking into the bathroom with their 7mth old brother for a bath.  Oh and DH was out getting his every two week haircut - while I haven't had mine cut in almost 6 months!  So, he walks in to a naked baby in the PNP while I have an ice pack on DS1's head and DS2 is crying uncontrollable saying I sowwy mama and DH has the nerve to say "I can't even leave for 20 minutes to get a haircut"?

    I lost it, in front of the kids for the first time - big time.  So I judge myself, I am usually laid back, take everything in, hold feelings back and the one to calm everyone down.  UGH, by the end of it all we were all in tears and I know it happens but I feel really guilty it went down like that in front of the kids. This morning they were their happy selves but my 3yo said he was sorry again and told our sitter that mama & dada were yelling at each other.  He was in the wrong for hitting DS1, but I don't want him to think he is to blame for my blowup and DH & I arguing. 

  • image LibraryChica:
    image EMO-mamma:

    image LibraryChica:
    I judge babies, toddlers and many young girls in bikinis. Forget the sexualization aspect, why would you want to worry about having to sunscreen that much more skin? My poor daughter is going to be in a rash guard until college.  

    Just to play advocate - 2 piece swimsuits are soooo much easier for diapers and potty training.  So would tankinis be ok?  or the rash guard top with separate bottom?  And what about indoor pools - are bikinis ok there? 

    (FWIW DD wears a one-piece rashguard suit and I think bikinis are weird just because I don't understand how they stay in place for active kids with nothing to hold the top there yet.)  



    Obviously bikinis are ok everywhere as no one has voted me the bathing suit police yet! I was thinking more bikini tops, I guess. DD wears a rash guard with short bottoms. Best of both worlds.

    Mobile bumping: but was going to say I used to have strong opinions on little girls in bikinis until I had 3 little girls under 6 2 of which inevitably would need to use the bathroom at least 34 times per pool visit, 1 being in a seim diaper and never needing to go/be changed at the same time. I actually prefer bikinis now. 4th girl coming any day :
    -K
    Mom to 3 girls ages 2, 4 & 6!
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  • DD does not wear a bikini, but she does wear a two piece.  I guess it could be called a tankini.  Getting wet bathing suits on and off to change diapers is the opposite of fun.

    I used to judge homeschoolers, but now I am more open minded.  My cousin home schooled her seven kids.  The oldest just joined the navy and the second oldest just graduated magna *** laude at age 20 and was accepted to med school.  And she played on her college soccer team.  These seven kids may be the best behaved children I have ever met.  And they are all involved in lots of activities so they have socialization.  They're really smart and fun to talk to.

    I know this will be unpopular.  I hate when children are dressed to match for family pictures.  I'd rather see their outfits complement each other, not just be exact copies. 


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  • I judge parents who let their kids play outside, unsupervised. We live in a court and our house is the third house in and the kids from about 5 houses down constantly play in front of our house. Okay fine. One of the kids who is about 8 years old threw a rock and it shattered my parents back window of their car while they were visiting us. Well guess where his parents were? In their house watching TV. Well you know what, they should have been watching their child because needless to say he just cost them 400 dollars. Also with all the creeps out there I would not let my kids play outside alone. His little sister is 5 and she plays outside unsupervised as well. I don't get it.

     

     

  • image FemShep:

    "Once more unto the breach, dear friends...."

    I judge people who give their children normal names with crazy spellings (think Soosahnna or Aleesheyah).  Names do actually matter when applying to schools or finding a job, and you're burdening your kid because you think it's "fun" to be unique.  

    this. I can't imagine wtf some people are thinking when they name their kids! 

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  • I judge people with face tattoos.  Unless you are a tattoo artist, a pro-athlete, a member of an aboriginal tribe or something similar, I really don't understand how you ever expect to get a decent job with tattoos on your face.
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  • image kkramer1211:
    I judge parents who let their kids play outside, unsupervised. We live in a court and our house is the third house in and the kids from about 5 houses down constantly play in front of our house. Okay fine. One of the kids who is about 8 years old threw a rock and it shattered my parents back window of their car while they were visiting us. Well guess where his parents were? In their house watching TV. Well you know what, they should have been watching their child because needless to say he just cost them 400 dollars. Also with all the creeps out there I would not let my kids play outside alone. His little sister is 5 and she plays outside unsupervised as well. I don't get it.

    Just curious, but at what age do you plan to let your kids play outside unsupervised?  (Presumably, you'll let your kids play outside on their own before they move out.....)  Do you distinguish between a private, fenced back yard and a public front yard? 

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  • image IBackBevo:
    I judge people with face tattoos.nbsp; Unless you are a tattoo artist, a proathlete, a member of annbsp;aboriginal tribenbsp;or something similar, I reallynbsp;don't understand how you ever expect to get a decent job with tattoosnbsp;on your face.


    I have only seen face tattoos on gang bangers, white supremacists and prisoners... do "normal" people get them?

    And I'm not anti tattoos
  • image FemShep:

    image kkramer1211:
    I judge parents who let their kids play outside, unsupervised. We live in a court and our house is the third house in and the kids from about 5 houses down constantly play in front of our house. Okay fine. One of the kids who is about 8 years old threw a rock and it shattered my parents back window of their car while they were visiting us. Well guess where his parents were? In their house watching TV. Well you know what, they should have been watching their child because needless to say he just cost them 400 dollars. Also with all the creeps out there I would not let my kids play outside alone. His little sister is 5 and she plays outside unsupervised as well. I don't get it.

    Just curious, but at what age do you plan to let your kids play outside unsupervised?  (Presumably, you'll let your kids play outside on their own before they move out.....)  Do you distinguish between a private, fenced back yard and a public front yard? 

    I don't know when I will feel comfortable with this, my son is 2.5 years old right now so obviously not for a while. This particular situation was the neighbor kids playing outside in the street without supervision. I mean a 5 year old and an 8 year riding their bikes in the street alone? No way.  The backyard that is fenced is a different story.

     

     

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