LGBT Parenting

Dr appt update

Hey all!

I updated everyone during TTC that we had a dr appointment on Monday. It did not go as well as I had thought it was going to go. Our OBGYN is out of the office she had a baby...of course so we met with a different doctor.

He basically told me that I need to lose weight before he'll let me continue and he doesn't know why the other doctor let me start without losing weight. I wish this conversation had happened last October when we started our TTC process and maybe we could have saved the 3000 we've spent so far...

I have had multiple emotions attached to this meeting but I am not ready to give up yet. C is going to start trying for a while and then I'll jump back in later when the doctor graces me with an okay.

Not too good but we have decided we are warriors and we will make it through!
Queer coupled and having a BABY with the love of my life! Trying for our first little peanut.
Love my life and wouldn't have it any other way!
First IUI 1/22/2013 BFN: 2/7/2013
Second IUI 2/21/2013 BFN: 3/9/2013 
Third IUI 4/23/2013 BFN: 5/8/2013
Fourth IUI 5/24/2013 BFN: 6/7/2013
Fifth IUI 6/24/2013 BFN: 7/8/2013
C began IUI's
7/23/2013 C's first IUI BFN
8/21/2013 C's second IUI BFN
Took a break in September and October
11/05/2013 C's 3rd IUI (TWW...we meet again...) BFN
Took off the month to switch to an RE.
01/01/2014 C's 4th IUI...BFP!!!!!!!! Beta #1- 17, Beta #2- 34, Beta #3-140....  6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014
03/21/2014 IUI #10...BFP!!! Beta #1- 48, Beta #2- 416, Beta #3- 1018. GROW BABY GROW!!!

1st Ultrasound 4/22/2014 Baby Squints is PERFECT! Measuring at 6w2d with a heartbeat of 129. EDD: 12/12/14.

Re: Dr appt update

  • Sorry to hear that :( my doctor advised me to lose some weight, too, but he said 10-20 pounds would be sufficient to reduce my risks of complications (I am about 100 pounds overweight right now).

    Certainly, don't give up!  And seek another opinion if you need to.  Plenty of heavy women get pregnant and have healthy babies.  Heck, my old neighbor was as big as me and she had 5 kids while smoking and drinking with each pregnancy.  Not that I approve, but I figure if she could do it while abusing her health, then I can while being as healthy as possible.

  • KH826KH826
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    member

    I am so sorry to hear that, firstcomeslove, but I am glad to hear that you have your eye on the prize and you two will keep forging on to make your family. Go forth and be warriors!

    Do you know when you will start trying with your spouse? Will you use the same doctor?

    Can't wait to hear more about your plans!

    Me - 30, My wife - 301 , Together for 9.5 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581    Anatomy scan on 1/15/14 -- We are having a baby girl!!! :)                                             Baby girl is due 6/3/14!

    BabyFetus Ticker

     

  • So... Here is the deal...  Like FirstComesLove says, I have now been named the captain of the baby carrying ship.  Which is altogether terrifying to me...  Let me explain,  I am non-gender conformist, and identify as trans.  But not F to M, more like F to FM (with no medical intervention).  I was not sure I ever wanted to carry a child, but now it seems like this is the course our life is taking and I am just going to roll with it.

    That being said, I have always been one of the guys. And I am scared that if I get pregnant, everyone will treat me different. Its so hard to wrap my own head around, and I worry that it will be hard for other people as well.  But I think it will be interesting at the very least to open up a dialogue with people about what gender REALLY is, and how some boys can still be boys and have babies.

    So... I had my first OBGYN appointment this morning, which wasn't as bad as I thought. They have decided to be more aggressive, because they know A and I have been trying for 6 months. So right out of the gate, we are going to do monitoring and trigger. I go in on Monday for my first monitoring appointment.

    So long story short, I am nervous about so many things, and I know A is struggling with not being the first to carry... but this seems to be the way life is taking us right now.  So as she said, we have decided that we are warriors, and we can handle whatever life throws at us. 

    One of the interesting bonuses I have thought of is for the first time, I will be able to shop in the Men's big and tall section... for maternity clothes. That at least, will make me feel a little bit more manly...

    We're pregnant for now... and here is how we got here:

    My lovely wife:

    5 IUI's January 2013-June 2013- 3 Cycles with Clomid- BFN

     

    Myself: Genderqueer guy who hopped in the driver's seat of the baby making train

    IUI #6- 7/23- Monitored and Trigger on Day 12, with one 16mm follicle and one 18mm follicle- BFN

    IUI #7- 8/21- Not monitored, 50mg Clomid- BFN

    September and October: Missed Cycles due to vacation and a Half Marathon

    IUI #8- Monitored and triggered on day 15, with one 23x18mm follicle- BFN on 11/19/2013

    December:  Moved onto to see an RE to make a good plan.

    IUI #9- 1/1/2014 Natural Cycle, BFP on 1/15/2014, Beta #1- 17, Beta #2- 34, Beta #3-140....  6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014

    IUI #10 3/21/2014- Natural Cycle- BFP on 4/1/2014 (please don't be an April Fools.  Beta #1 13dpiui- 48, Beta #2 16dpiui- 416, Beta #3 1018...

    Patiently awaiting ultrasound on 4/22/2014

  • I am sure you both are processing quite a bit right now with such a change from your original TTC plans.  It seems like you are both handling it well... I am sure you both will have a lot of emotions as the process continues.  Keep us updated.  I will be thinking about both of you.  
    Same sex couple, Married 8/6/11
    Baby Oliver born 11/27/13

    TTC stats with donor sperm...
    IUI #1 with trigger, 1/4/13 - BFN
    IUI #2 with trigger, 2/1/13 BFN
    IUI #3 with tigger, 2/28/12 BFP EDD 11/21/13
  • Thank you firstcomeslove and doodah for sharing your story. This TTC journey can certainly take some twists and turns, and I'm sure it will take time to get used to these proposed changes. My partner also would not be comfortable being pregnant (and now that she will not have to be, nor breastfeed, she has decided to get a breast reduction) - and we decided for me to carry her egg when I had problems. Not sure if this is an option for you. If you do get pregnant, doodah, this will be a journey and you will be supported on the path. All the best to you both!
    M&K met 8/2002 married 6/2012
    TTC with RE since March 2012
    3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
    (2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
    Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
    EDD 11/28/13
  • Hi firstcomeslove and doodah!

    First of all, I'm furious on your behalf about your new doctor's refusal to do fertility stuff with you if you don't lose weight! Will you be changing doctors for doodah's IUIs?

    Second, I'm glad that you're figuring out something that you think will work for both of you even if it isn't the ideal situation. 

     Third, doodah, pregnancy will be an adventure for sure. I'm pretty sure that when I'm pregnant it will screw with me quite a bit in terms of how I'm perceived, what I can wear, how society interacts with me, etc. If you haven't seen this blog post about finding "butch" "maternity" clothing, you might find it interesting-- http://offbeatfamilies.com/2011/05/where-can-butches-find-maternity-clothing. The title uses both the words "butch" and "maternity" but the article itself is much more inclusive.

    I don't know how many butch, trans*, genderqueer, masculine, etc. folks on this board are trying to get pregnant or are currently pregnant, but maybe at some point it will be enough folks that it makes sense to do a semi-regular check-in about gender and pregnancy/parenting... I think there's actually a lot more gender queerness among us (even among regular posters and/or their partners) than an outsider might assume given how freely the term "ladies" is thrown around on the board. A semi-regular check-in might be nice.

     

    ****signature and ticker warning*****

    We're queer. I'm 33 and don't have any fallopian tubes left. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus).

    Our TTC and Infertility history:
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    with me: blocked tube dx'd via HSG in December 2012; polyps dx'd via sonohysterogram in 12/2012 and removed via hysteroscopy in 1/2013; hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in 5/2013 via transvaginal ultrasound. Laparoscopy performed 6/2013 to deal with hydrosalpinx--dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy during surgery. Repeat hysteroscopy 10/2013 with two polyps removed.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap
    Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    HPT BFP on 2/13 evening (6dp3dt); Beta 1 (2/18 at 11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (2/20 at 13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (2/22 at 15dp3dt):  348; Beta 4 (2/26 at 19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (2/28 at 21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 9 week ultrasound (3/26): We saw both move! Twin A measuring 8w6d with a heartbeat of 182 and Twin B measuring 8w5d with a heartbeat of 180.

    image  image


    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • image healz413:

    I think there's actually a lot more gender queerness among us (even among regular posters and/or their partners) than an outsider might assume given how freely the term "ladies" is thrown around on the board.  

    I've tried to stop doing this realizing that I have in the past, and knowing that if my wife were on here she probably wouldn't like it. I feel like you keep me in check, Healz! 

    M&K met 8/2002 married 6/2012
    TTC with RE since March 2012
    3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
    (2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
    Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
    EDD 11/28/13
  • image mollykelley:
    image healz413:

    I think there's actually a lot more gender queerness among us (even among regular posters and/or their partners) than an outsider might assume given how freely the term "ladies" is thrown around on the board.  

    I've tried to stop doing this realizing that I have in the past, and knowing that if my wife were on here she probably wouldn't like it. I feel like you keep me in check, Healz! 

    Thanks, MK. I really appreciate that. I have been thinking about how I might mention something on the board in a way in which it didn't come across as calling anyone out. I totally understand the affectionate use of "ladies." As someone who isn't lady-identified, though, I notice it every time and imagine other non-lady folk might too.

     

    ****signature and ticker warning*****

    We're queer. I'm 33 and don't have any fallopian tubes left. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus).

    Our TTC and Infertility history:
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    with me: blocked tube dx'd via HSG in December 2012; polyps dx'd via sonohysterogram in 12/2012 and removed via hysteroscopy in 1/2013; hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in 5/2013 via transvaginal ultrasound. Laparoscopy performed 6/2013 to deal with hydrosalpinx--dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy during surgery. Repeat hysteroscopy 10/2013 with two polyps removed.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap
    Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    HPT BFP on 2/13 evening (6dp3dt); Beta 1 (2/18 at 11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (2/20 at 13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (2/22 at 15dp3dt):  348; Beta 4 (2/26 at 19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (2/28 at 21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 9 week ultrasound (3/26): We saw both move! Twin A measuring 8w6d with a heartbeat of 182 and Twin B measuring 8w5d with a heartbeat of 180.

    image  image


    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Firstcomeslove and doodah - I haven't had the chance to interact with you on the boards yet much, but just wanted to throw my support in too.  One of the many beautiful things about the queer community is the different ways we create, nurture, and define our relationships and families.  Wishing you the best on this journey.

    And, healz, I too thank you for pointing out where we can be more inclusive and sensitive.  I will strive to be more aware in the future. 

     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image healz413:
    image mollykelley:
    image healz413:

    I think there's actually a lot more gender queerness among us (even among regular posters and/or their partners) than an outsider might assume given how freely the term "ladies" is thrown around on the board.  

    I've tried to stop doing this realizing that I have in the past, and knowing that if my wife were on here she probably wouldn't like it. I feel like you keep me in check, Healz! 

    Thanks, MK. I really appreciate that. I have been thinking about how I might mention something on the board in a way in which it didn't come across as calling anyone out. I totally understand the affectionate use of "ladies." As someone who isn't lady-identified, though, I notice it every time and imagine other non-lady folk might too.

     



    Let me first say that I truly appreciate everyone's support, comments and well wishes. It is extremely emotional for us right now but the support from this group is truly amazing. The transition is happening so quickly and that is both wonderful an hard. We will definetly keep everyone posted.

    Secondly, let me apologize for my use of the term "ladies". I have NO idea why I chose that term and I am usually really cautious of my gender terms. I will be more aware in the future. I am actually a little embarassed! I run a same sex company and I am usually very inclusive with my language.
    Queer coupled and having a BABY with the love of my life! Trying for our first little peanut.
    Love my life and wouldn't have it any other way!
    First IUI 1/22/2013 BFN: 2/7/2013
    Second IUI 2/21/2013 BFN: 3/9/2013 
    Third IUI 4/23/2013 BFN: 5/8/2013
    Fourth IUI 5/24/2013 BFN: 6/7/2013
    Fifth IUI 6/24/2013 BFN: 7/8/2013
    C began IUI's
    7/23/2013 C's first IUI BFN
    8/21/2013 C's second IUI BFN
    Took a break in September and October
    11/05/2013 C's 3rd IUI (TWW...we meet again...) BFN
    Took off the month to switch to an RE.
    01/01/2014 C's 4th IUI...BFP!!!!!!!! Beta #1- 17, Beta #2- 34, Beta #3-140....  6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014
    03/21/2014 IUI #10...BFP!!! Beta #1- 48, Beta #2- 416, Beta #3- 1018. GROW BABY GROW!!!

    1st Ultrasound 4/22/2014 Baby Squints is PERFECT! Measuring at 6w2d with a heartbeat of 129. EDD: 12/12/14.
  • image firstcomeslove2013:
    image healz413:
    image mollykelley:
    image healz413:

    I think there's actually a lot more gender queerness among us (even among regular posters and/or their partners) than an outsider might assume given how freely the term "ladies" is thrown around on the board.  

    I've tried to stop doing this realizing that I have in the past, and knowing that if my wife were on here she probably wouldn't like it. I feel like you keep me in check, Healz! 

    Thanks, MK. I really appreciate that. I have been thinking about how I might mention something on the board in a way in which it didn't come across as calling anyone out. I totally understand the affectionate use of "ladies." As someone who isn't lady-identified, though, I notice it every time and imagine other non-lady folk might too.

     



    Let me first say that I truly appreciate everyone's support, comments and well wishes. It is extremely emotional for us right now but the support from this group is truly amazing. The transition is happening so quickly and that is both wonderful an hard. We will definetly keep everyone posted.

    Secondly, let me apologize for my use of the term "ladies". I have NO idea why I chose that term and I am usually really cautious of my gender terms. I will be more aware in the future. I am actually a little embarassed! I run a same sex company and I am usually very inclusive with my language.


    I hope you don't think I was talking about you in particular. I was so outraged by your situation and also excited for you and doodah on your new journey that I forgot you used the term. I was just thinking about gender, pregnancy, and parenting and how often "ladies" comes up in our everyday lives and on this board.
    Sending you hugs as you continue to come to terms with all the changes.
    ****signature and ticker warning*****

    We're queer. I'm 33 and don't have any fallopian tubes left. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus).

    Our TTC and Infertility history:
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    with me: blocked tube dx'd via HSG in December 2012; polyps dx'd via sonohysterogram in 12/2012 and removed via hysteroscopy in 1/2013; hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in 5/2013 via transvaginal ultrasound. Laparoscopy performed 6/2013 to deal with hydrosalpinx--dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy during surgery. Repeat hysteroscopy 10/2013 with two polyps removed.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap
    Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    HPT BFP on 2/13 evening (6dp3dt); Beta 1 (2/18 at 11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (2/20 at 13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (2/22 at 15dp3dt):  348; Beta 4 (2/26 at 19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (2/28 at 21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 9 week ultrasound (3/26): We saw both move! Twin A measuring 8w6d with a heartbeat of 182 and Twin B measuring 8w5d with a heartbeat of 180.

    image  image


    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Hey! No way! I didn't think you were directing that at me but C and I were discussing your comment and I looked at the beginning of the thread and realized I had used the word ladies and C said "you never use the word ladies" and we both kind of laughed about it but I did want to jump in. I think we all need to be more careful about our gender language on this board in order to include everyone!

    Thanks for the long distance hugs and support...it is as always much appreciated!
    Queer coupled and having a BABY with the love of my life! Trying for our first little peanut.
    Love my life and wouldn't have it any other way!
    First IUI 1/22/2013 BFN: 2/7/2013
    Second IUI 2/21/2013 BFN: 3/9/2013 
    Third IUI 4/23/2013 BFN: 5/8/2013
    Fourth IUI 5/24/2013 BFN: 6/7/2013
    Fifth IUI 6/24/2013 BFN: 7/8/2013
    C began IUI's
    7/23/2013 C's first IUI BFN
    8/21/2013 C's second IUI BFN
    Took a break in September and October
    11/05/2013 C's 3rd IUI (TWW...we meet again...) BFN
    Took off the month to switch to an RE.
    01/01/2014 C's 4th IUI...BFP!!!!!!!! Beta #1- 17, Beta #2- 34, Beta #3-140....  6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014
    03/21/2014 IUI #10...BFP!!! Beta #1- 48, Beta #2- 416, Beta #3- 1018. GROW BABY GROW!!!

    1st Ultrasound 4/22/2014 Baby Squints is PERFECT! Measuring at 6w2d with a heartbeat of 129. EDD: 12/12/14.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards