Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Update

For those of you who didn't read my original intro; we found out of our MMC at my 15w appointment. The baby had passes away around week 13 so I was scheduled to go to the hospital that night to start the induction and delivery process. The next day (7/27/2013) I delivered my baby boy!

The first week was awful! It was filled with tears, blabbering and utter madness in my head. Week two was better because there was not many tears (and I had found this board!!) but without the tears there seemed to be a void or something missing. But now we are in week 3 post MMC and last night was good.

As DH and I laid in bed, he put his hand on my stomach (more of a subconscious action) and as I laid my hand on his it just sent my mind on a roller coaster of where we should be. I cried, and I cried hard! He freaked of course since I had been doing so well but when I told him what was going on he understood and just let me sob. It felt so good to cry again, I know that must sound weird, but for some reason I just haven't been able to let go.

Today has been the best day and I have been genuinely happy. I went to the store and instead of leaving my house worried that someone may say something that would make me cry in public, I walked out of my house wanting someone to ask questions or just talk to me because it would be a chance to share my story even if I break down! It is a relief to accept that tears are just going to be apart of this situation, and embrace that we all have amazing stories to tell about our angel babies even though they were with us for such a short time. I feel terrible for each and every one of you ladies for having to be here (especially those just joining) and just know that with time comes clarity. T&P ((HUGS))

Re: Update

  •  I told my H the other day that we're now experiencing a new kind of normal.  Our new normal has new painful reminders around every corner, around days that a year ago would've meant nothing to us, but now are the "would have beens".  Would have been the start of my second trimester, would have been our due date, etc.  I've accepted it as not a bad thing but as a part of the healing process.  So sorry for your loss.  (((Hugs)))
    Trying for #1 since January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Praying this is our rainbow baby!! Baby C is a BOY!!
    image
    Chart on FF
  • I'm glad today has been a good day. It is nice to see that it really does get better. Hugs to you and thanks for the inspiration!

    BFP 06/05/2013 | EDD 02/10/2014 | D&C 07/12/2013
  • image adsprinkle89:
    . I feel terrible for each and every one of you ladies for having to be herenbsp;especially those just joiningnbsp;and just know that with time comes clarity. Tamp;P HUGS


    This. Exactly.

    I'm glad today was better. I had the same reaction to my DH putting his hand on my belly. I must have recoiled because he moved his hand almost immediately. I felt like a crazy person....glad it's not just me.

    One of my friends sent me a card after the mc. It said, today was a terrible day. Tomorrow will be better. I keep thinking of that and, like you have said, I think it's true. I hope your tomorrow is even better than today was.

    image

    Pregnancy Ticker

    BFP 5/19/2013. MC 7/2/2013 (9w6d) with est. loss at 8w. Miso 7/3/2013 and emergency D & C 7/6/2013.

    BFP#2 11/6/2013.  CP 11/14/2013.  

    BFP #3 12/13/2013.  Beta #1 @ 15dpo- 239. Progesterone 27.  Beta #2 @17dpo - 90.  CP 12/21/2013

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  -Philippians 4:6-7

    All PgAL and PAL welcome.

  • So glad today was better! What a positive step forward. Even now, being at the beginning of this process I find that though I dread talking about it (especially in person with people) that I feel better after. DH has been very open with me about his feelings and we talk often about it. 

    I am so sorry for your loss but am so glad you have found yourself in this new mind set. T&P to you and all of these brave ladies.  

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Im happy for you for your new found positivety. I too try to just be open and as positive as possible. Glad you were able to have a good day. Its such a nice reprive to feel ok for the first time after a hard loss

    Married my best friend 4/19/2013

    BFP #1: April 12 2013 w/ EDD Dec 23, 2013, MC May 31, 2013

    BFP #2: August 30 2013 w/ EDD May 20, 2014, MC Sept 27,2013

    We will always miss you Angel babies Rue and Seahorse! Until we meet again

    photo december1_thumb.jpgimagephoto mayloss_thumb.jpg

    BFP #3: November 25, 2013 w/ EDD July 31,2014. Yay shes here!!


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    All AL WELCOME

  • That moment sounds so sad, but I'm really glad that you're doing better! I'm very glad for you. :)
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