Toddlers: 24 Months+

XP How to get your toddler to ask instead of cry?

DS just turned 2 last month and I feel we are having some language/communication issues. He has just come into talking (he was a late talker) and has finally started saying "ya!" and "no!" (but he only actually says no if he see's the item like if I say "Riv would you like some watermelon?" he'll say "yea!!!" but if I were to hand him a slice of watermelon he would push it away and say no) he tells me when he is done with something or if he gets stuck on something he'll say "need help!", he will bless you if you sneeze or announce your fart lol etc so there is some communication that I am so thankful for because I was starting to get nervous. We moved to FL and both our entire families are here and I believe this is the majority of the cause in him developing it is like night an day.

Before in NYC it was just us stuck in a tiny little apartment most of the day and I only had one friend with a child that he saw 1x a week at best. Anyways I'm having trouble getting him to tell me what he wants. For example he will go over to where the fruit snacks are kept and whine and cry and try to get them. I try to say "What do you want?", "Can you tell mommy what you want?" but this seems to make it worse and then I give in because I can't take it.

 

He is also starting preschool next month which I am hoping really helps him but also nervous he will be so far behind the other children. Idk he is my first and I am just nervous about everything that doesn;t seem normal or that i see another child doing but not him and I lurk the internet and scare myself 

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Photobucket

Re: XP How to get your toddler to ask instead of cry?

  • A) Have you talked to your pedi? It kind of concerns me that he has to see the item-- like he doesn't know what you're talking about when you just ask (although my son changes his mind all the time- I'll ask if he wants a PB sandwich, he says yes, and when I bring it he screams "no! I want plain bread" so it could just be a toddler thing)

    B) Stop giving in. Make him say it. If it gets bad, give him the words "DS, do you want these fruit snacks? Yes or no?" but make him speak in some way. My bff's brother would point and grunt because everyone gave him what he wanted. My brother would pick up the same behavior and it would take my mom day's to break him of it. So it'll take a little time but don't give in.

    C) I think pre-school will help tremendously and I don't think he'll be horribly behind. In fact, since you and your family won't be around, I think he'll start talking more on day one. 

    Have you tried signing?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods
  • Not sure if this will help but what I/we do with our DS is say "Use your words please" if he starts to whine, etc. If he is unable to use his words at that point and continues to whine/point, I will help him out and say something like, "Crackers please?" and have him repeat it, then praise him for using his words. Sometimes it may take a couple of opportunities/scenarios for him to understand a concept or new word but he gets it eventually. Hope that helps somewhat!
    image
    BabyFetus Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image XcrisscrossX:

    A) Have you talked to your pedi? It kind of concerns me that he has to see the item-- like he doesn't know what you're talking about when you just ask (although my son changes his mind all the time- I'll ask if he wants a PB sandwich, he says yes, and when I bring it he screams "no! I want plain bread" so it could just be a toddler thing)

    B) Stop giving in. Make him say it. If it gets bad, give him the words "DS, do you want these fruit snacks? Yes or no?" but make him speak in some way. My bff's brother would point and grunt because everyone gave him what he wanted. My brother would pick up the same behavior and it would take my mom day's to break him of it. So it'll take a little time but don't give in.

    C) I think pre-school will help tremendously and I don't think he'll be horribly behind. In fact, since you and your family won't be around, I think he'll start talking more on day one. 

    Have you tried signing?

    ya I have no idea why. I just figured he was saying ya because he didn't know what say... a bagel was he was just agreeing to it ya know but if I say do you want a cookie he will come running in the kitchen and say YA! We have a speech pathologist coming over on thursday and i've done IE and he scored to high so who knows... BUT tonight he ran over to the counter and said "phone! phone! phone please mama!" i was omg hopefully this is something that will grow 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Photobucket
  • image XcrisscrossX:
    A Have you talked to your pedi? It kind of concerns me that he has to see the item like he doesn't know what you're talking about when you just ask although my son changes his mind all the time I'll ask if he wants a PB sandwich, he says yes, and when I bring it he screams "no! I want plain bread" so it could just be a toddler thingB Stop giving in. Make him say it. If it gets bad, give him the words "DS, do you want these fruit snacks? Yes or no?" but make him speak in some way. My bff's brother would point and grunt because everyone gave him what he wanted. My brother would pick up the same behavior and it would take my mom day's to break him of it. So it'll take a little time but don't give in.C I think preschool will help tremendously and I don't think he'll be horribly behind. In fact, since you and your family won't be around, I think he'll start talking more on day one.nbsp; Have you tried signing?


    I agree with B totally! my son was an early talker and he has a huge vocabulary. what did we do? we named things he saw all the time, if he grunted or used his replacement word, which was kitty cat for anything he didn't have a word for forever, we would tell him what it was then ask him if he could say it. over and over and over. other kids helps, he's in daycare. we also tell him we don't understand eh eh eh, and if we know he knows the word and can say, wait until he says it, or ask him to touch it or tell us what it's near. he'll get the hang of it once he starts getting words, he'll take off.

    TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption! 

    image


    Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!

    image   
  • I give my DS1 one warning if he starts crying about something. I generally say, "Use your big-boy voice." If he continues to cry, I ignore him. If he uses words, he generally gets what he wants (or an explanation as to why he can't have what he wants). If he continues to cry and eventually melts down, he goes in time out. He stays in time out until he is able to talk in his 'big-boy' voice. No exceptions. It normally doesn't take him but a minute to call from his room 'I want to talk!' using words, not whines.

    Sometimes he has a bad day, but the whining/temper tantrums are on their way out. He gets we don't tolerate them. If you're willing to be a little tough on your kid, I recommend this strategy. 

    image
    image
    image
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards