Working Moms

Nanny update/question of the day :)

For anyone following my saga: We still have daycare lady; still considering a switch to Hippie Girl. Daycare lady very nice and trying hard, but DD told her yesterday that she "wants Mommy to come home b/c I don't like you." Ugh. 

Daycare lady just told me that the kids were all outside when Baby got tired. So, she had the older two promise to play in the garage (with open door) while she went inside and put the baby down for a few minutes.

Votes? Okay or not okay? Not really okay with me, I think she should have brought them inside for a few minutes since it can take a little bit to put baby down...unless she literally just ran in and plopped her in the pack 'n play, which isn't great either. Want opinions to see if I am being too picky about this or not (as I'm keeping a mental scorecard of issues vs. non-issues in my mind).

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Re: Nanny update/question of the day :)

  •  First, I don't think it would be that big of a deal that your kid is telling her she doesn't like her, apart from the fact that it's rude on your daughter's part. That also isn't necessarily a fair indication of whether she's a good nanny or not b/c kids just say stuff sometimes when they are being disciplined or whatever.  

    Second, I don't necessarily think the leaving the older kids outside for a moment is a huge deal either, at least not as big of a deal as the force feeding thing.

    I don't know why you aren't just switching. I understand it will be a little awkward but honestly who really cares what she thinks? You're driving yourself nuts and the hippie lady is your solution from what you've described.



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  • Wouldn't fly with me, especially considering the other issues she has had. Honestly, the force feeding would have done it for us. Quit or don't quit, but find an alternative to this woman.
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  • Your almost 5 year old saying "I don't like you" would not sway me one way or the other. We said worse things to our babysitters, but only to the ones we felt safe around. The truly abusive one we were too scared of to tell her how much we hated her. 

    But leaving two kids to play in an open door garage while she goes inside - that would freak me out because of kidnapping possibilities. Couldn't she have closed the garage door for a few minutes while putting the baby down? But if she told you about it, then she was probably hoping to get your feedback, so I would see this as a fixable thing.  

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  • I'm waiting for Hippie to send me one more reference. If we get everything lined up with her and I don't quit my job, which I would love to do but am probably not doing, then we will start with the new Hippie nanny next week.
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  • I'm on mobile so I can't see tickers but depending in how old your kids are, it might not be a huge deal to leave them outside for a few minutes. From the other things you've said though, I'd let this woman go and find someone else. She's just working out well and it's not a good fit.

    ETA just saw how old your kids are, I would NOT be okay with her leaving them unattended even for a few minutes.  DC lady needs to go.

     

  • I've been following your nanny search story, and I also don't understand why you haven't switched to Hippie Girl.  It sounds like you didn't have a good first impression with Daycare Lady, so now you are second guessing everything she does and everything your kids are saying about her.  I don't think what your daughter said was that big of a deal - my DD has said rude stuff to me sometimes. I have more of an issue with leaving kids alone in the garage with the door open(you mean the door the cars drive through, right?)  Regardless what I think, if it bothers you, why don't you just talk to her about it?  I feel like if you switch to Hippie Girl, it would give you much more peace of mind regarding your child care.
  • image honeybee111:
    I've been following your nanny search story, and I also don't understand why you haven't switched to Hippie Girl.  It sounds like you didn't have a good first impression with Daycare Lady, so now you are second guessing everything she does and everything your kids are saying about her.  I don't think what your daughter said was that big of a deal - my DD has said rude stuff to me sometimes. I have more of an issue with leaving kids alone in the garage with the door open(you mean the door the cars drive through, right?)  Regardless what I think, if it bothers you, why don't you just talk to her about it?  I feel like if you switch to Hippie Girl, it would give you much more peace of mind regarding your child care.

    Ditto to all of this...I think at this point you will question everything she does and I would just switch ASAP.  Given the ages of your LO's I would not be thrilled with the kids being left in the garage either but it depends somewhat on how safe your garage is, how hot it is outside, and how safe your neighborhood is or how busy your street is.

     

  • Considering you children's ages, that would not be okay with me.  They could have been kidnapped. They could have ran into the street.  There are million and one things that could have happened. And all it takes is a second.

    As pp have said, if it isn't a good fit, just let her go and move on.  Sometimes that happens. I've been on both ends.  I think you are over-thinking this.

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  • Be really honest with yourself -- are you just making this more complicated than it is because you want a reason to up and stop working right now? 

    Also, do either of these women know you have a planned end date for your job, and that in fact you might leave sooner? 

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  • They are both fully aware of the end date. One is looking for jobs to start in winter and one is planning to move out of state early next year. 

    I'm not looking for an excuse to leave. I wish I would have left in spring, but since I decided to stay, I'm trying to make it work. It's just been 1,000x more difficult than expected and I am nervous about the kids moving into the new house 'construction zone' with someone we aren't even used to yet.

    Daycare isn't an option. It's too expensive, too inflexible for the hours we need, and I don't want to start the kids now just to pull them in 6 months. 

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  • image NicoleWI:
    They are both fully aware of the end date. One is looking for jobs to start in winter and one is planning to move out of state early next year.nbsp;I'm not looking for an excuse to leave. I wish I would have left in spring, but since I decided to stay, I'm trying to make it work. It's just been 1,000x more difficult than expected and I am nervous about the kids moving into the new house 'construction zone' with someone we aren't even used to yet. Daycare isn't an option. It's too expensive, too inflexible for the hours we need, and I don't want to start the kids now just to pull them in 6 months.nbsp;
    Honestly I think you are making this more difficult then it needs to be. Got with your gut, no it's not ok to leave kids unattended outside. You want to quit so bad then just quit honestly. Just be very very apologetic. I think you are looking for us to tell you to quit at this point.
  • image ClaryPax:
    image NicoleWI:
    They are both fully aware of the end date. One is looking for jobs to start in winter and one is planning to move out of state early next year.nbsp;I'm not looking for an excuse to leave. I wish I would have left in spring, but since I decided to stay, I'm trying to make it work. It's just been 1,000x more difficult than expected and I am nervous about the kids moving into the new house 'construction zone' with someone we aren't even used to yet. Daycare isn't an option. It's too expensive, too inflexible for the hours we need, and I don't want to start the kids now just to pull them in 6 months.nbsp;
    Honestly I think you are making this more difficult then it needs to be. Got with your gut, no it's not ok to leave kids unattended outside. You want to quit so bad then just quit honestly. Just be very very apologetic. I think you are looking for us to tell you to quit at this point.

    All of this, but I think leaving the kids outside for a minute to put baby down is NBD- but that has to do a lot with my kids temperaments, where we live and that I never had to rock baby to sleep, so it really is a few minutes.  If she went inside to prep lunch for 10 minutes and left them to play, that would be a big problem.

    I know many people have nanny/ DC issues, but at some point it's not the childcare that is the issue.

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  • I won't comment because I still think you need to ditch her based on your first post.
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  • not even close to ok leaving a 2 year old in the front yard alone with a 4 year old.

    find a daycare 

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  • There must be a million people looking to nanny in the SD area!  I've read all your posts but haven't commented yet.  Get rid of daycare lady and hire hippy girl or just go on Care.com and find someone better! 

    It would NEVER be okay with me for two children that young to be left outside.  And your first post, just no.  Get them away from daycare lady now. 

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  • I don't have a 4yr old, so I can't say, they might be old enough to leave alone.  But I do have an almost 3 yr old, and I certainly would not leave her alone in a garage (aren't there usually dangerous things in a garage like tools, lawn mower, etc.)?  This would not be okay with me.

    I honestly don't know why you haven't switched to the hippy girl.  I've been reading all your posts.  It sounds like you know what you need to do, you just feel bad about firing the daycare lady.  You need to suck it up and do whats in the best interest of your kids.

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  • image cecilyandgautam:

    But leaving two kids to play in an open door garage while she goes inside - that would freak me out because of kidnapping possibilities.

    I don't know your backstory, but I agree.  DD is 4, and I was doing some gardening over the weekend and every time I came inside I made her come with me. It's not just about someone taking her, but her getting into something she shouldn't (it's not a child proofed room, it's a garage with tools and all sorts of stuff that's not for her to play with), or her running into the street.  At this age, I need to physically see her at all times, especially when she's in the front yard by the street.

     

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