Since having an emergency c/s, I've been lurking but I'd like to hear some feedback from you ladies.
I had to have an emergency c/s. My doctor was inducing me because of high blood pressure. I started out trying to deliver vaginally but doctor couldn't get my blood pressure under control and when the nurses rolled me onto my side, I lost quite a lot of blood and the doctor thought the placenta was tearing. Hence, emergency c/s... What I'm having a hard time with is the fact that I don't remember the moment LO was born nor do I recall kissing him before they took him to the nursery to get cleaned up. According to DH, I was awake the whole time but I was given Adavan (I think that's the name...), which apparently erases your memory and also causes hallucinations. I remember DH coming to the OR and telling them that I could feel their sharp pokes and then nothing until I started hallucinating about aliens while they were wheeling me into my room.
Not having that memory is upsetting to me and I find myself getting emotional every time I think about it. LO is a little over 2 weeks and I'm so happy that he's healthy but I also feel cheated out of that moment. Did anyone else have a similar experience? Did you have similar emotions and if so, how did you cope? I'm not upset about having a c/s, just the fact that I don't have a memory of LO being born.