Blended Families

Signing for mail

I just want to make sure no one sees a concern with this even though I talked to one person from the court. If we get a letter or summons for SD and and sign for it we are not legally on the line for anything are we? She skipped out on a few months rent, never changed the electric bill into her name and broke a window and the landlord is trying to get a court date. I am not going out of my way to screw SD but I will not screw over the woman who is trying get money that is honestly owed to her. We don't know where she is living and apparently she is no longer at the job she started 2 months ago. Totally back to where we were 4 or 5 years ago.
Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08

Re: Signing for mail

  • You should let the post office know that she no longer lives with you. The letter will be returned to sender.
    IAmPregnant Ticker}
  • I'm not sure. My mom actually called me a few weeks ago because she had a notice on the door for a letter but it didn't say who it was addressed to. She called me and asked if by any chance I was expecting anything at her house.  I told her nope. My address is properly listed with all the credit bureaus and I've lived at the same address for 7 years and I'm not behind on anything so there would be no reason it would be mine, but perhaps it was for my brother since he really never had a permanent address (normally moved every 6 months) and sometimes got mail there. We finally discussed it and agreed she should not pick it up. If it were something for him, he's deceased so....we didn't want to risk her being responsible for whatever it is and he has no responsible adult in charge of his non-existent estate.
    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

  • image lookame3639:
    You should let the post office know that she no longer lives with you. The letter will be returned to sender.

    This.

    imageNo one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • image lookame3639:
    You should let the post office know that she no longer lives with you. The letter will be returned to sender.

    I always get nervous since she has our last name that if we tell them not to deliver her stuff they might screw up ours. And we probably get something once every other month for her and it is usually junk mail. I just don't imagine the post office really looking that close at first names since often they don't even make sure they drop things at the right house number. But people can tell me if I am wrong.

    The woman said the court told her she cannot proceed unless she gets it delivered to an address. I am not sure how posting in the newspaper works in my state. I swore last time that I am returning all stuff to sender after we got the last summons for her but now I feel bad if we return this because it will specifically screw this woman that rented to her and it will actually help SD which I feel is enabling. If we get the summons I plan on having DH text her with the info since I won't sign and then not let her know which would make them issue an arrest warrant. Of course I don't know if she resolved her last missed court appearance so if she goes to court she might get arrested.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • Why are you taking on your SD's guilt by refusing her mail? You don't know where she lives. So even if you did accept it, you can't give it to her. So what's the point of signing for it? Do NOT sign for anything for SD. Ever. Return to sender. It's their business and SD's. Not yours.
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • image +just+j+:
    Why are you taking on your SD's guilt by refusing her mail? You don't know where she lives. So even if you did accept it, you can't give it to her. So what's the point of signing for it? Do NOT sign for anything for SD. Ever. Return to sender. It's their business and SD's. Not yours.

    This.

    But since you've already done the damage, take it down the the court and tell them what you told us -- you don't know where she is or where she's living.

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  • image Littlejen22:
    image lookame3639:
    You should let the post office know that she no longer lives with you. The letter will be returned to sender.
    I always get nervous since she has our last name that if we tell them not to deliver her stuff they might screw up ours. And we probably get something once every other month for her and it is usually junk mail. I just don't imagine the post office really looking that close at first names since often they don't even make sure they drop things at the right house number. But people can tell me if I am wrong. The woman said the court told her she cannot proceed unless she gets it delivered to an address. I am not sure how posting in the newspaper works in my state. I swore last time that I am returning all stuff to sender after we got the last summons for her but now I feel bad if we return this because it will specifically screw this woman that rented to her and it will actually help SD which I feel is enabling. If we get the summons I plan on having DH text her with the info since I won't sign and then not let her know which would make them issue an arrest warrant. Of course I don't know if she resolved her last missed court appearance so if she goes to court she might get arrested.

    I would want to do this as well, so as to not screw the landlord out of money she is truly owed, but I wouldn't sign for something that doesn't belong in your home. Also, DH shouldn't open SD's mail since doing so is illegal.

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  • I agree with J - signing for it means you're accepting responsibility.  If you've already signed for it, take it to the courthouse and say you didn't realize it was for SD, but you don't know where she lives.  They can send a process server to find her or whatever.
  • I would just return to sender and SMH inside.

    But as for the post office... I have gotten mail in my maiden name at DH's grandmother's house once. Go figure that one... And we continuously get mail, as in weekly, for three past tenants of the house we rent even though we have told the post office multiple times that they do not live here. So now we just put it back in the mail with ''return to sender, recipient does not live here" written on the front.'' DH and I both have gotten mail many times at his family members' homes without ever having lived with any of them. It absolutely nuts.
  • Just because no one accepts the certified mail doesn't mean SD will be off the hook.

    In our county you get certified mail, then a letter by mail if you refuse service and don't come to court it's a default judgment. Actually the best thing to do is to sign and receive the mail and go and fight it but people get embarrassed or live in denial or think no action will be ok.

    Landlord will probably get a default judgment then start garnishing her wages. Don't sign for her mail
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Apparently SD needs to get served some type of notice for the landlord to get a court date or that is what was explained to me. I think DH and I might just avoid answering the door.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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