Working Moms

Time to Go? WWYD? Thoughts?

I keep thinking things are resolved, and we go again.

History: I planned to leave or cut hours after DD was born in Dec. After much thought, I ended up negotiating a 4 day workweek with one day from home, through the end of the year, at which time I'll be leaving. Finally made a decision--whoo hoo! Since then, we have been in a super long and difficult nanny search (posted late last week about that). We've all been sick with three different bugs. We've had raccoons in our roof. We're moving, and renovating the "new" house extensively. Everything is a mess and the kids have had all sorts of fill-in nannies in and out and I've been making arrangements day by day. I have HOURS into looking for sitters. DS isn't getting potty trained and the poor kids ask, "who's coming to take care of us today?" I keep thinking I should have just quit this spring. 

Now that I committed to staying through the year, plans at work were made around this. My volunteers and donors (I'm in fundraising) have all been told of the transition plans. Staying gives me a nice schedule, income of course, and the opportunity to wrap things up really smoothly and in an organized way. I would like to tough it out, but...

is it just time for me to go? Superstitiously, I kind of wonder if God/the universe is sending any kind of message here with how difficult this has all been? DH has been very supportive all along of me working but now wants me to quit. Says it's just not worth the extra income (I'm mostly working for insurance and my retirement deposits, after child care) until the end of the year to manage this nanny situation and go through this crazy move and renovations all while I am still working.  I don't really know how it will be having the kids in the new house with a nanny while renovations are going on--we're doing an addition and making several changes. Is it just too much??

Financially we could do it. I don't know what I think anymore. Between the constant nanny stress, the house decisions, and work I'm totally confused. So I'm asking the internet--hah

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Re: Time to Go? WWYD? Thoughts?

  • It would look pretty bad for you to quit now. Sorry I couldn't find child care after you agreed to be there isn't a great answer. Maybe you don't care if you burn that bridge? I'm sure you said in another post why you can't use daycare, but is there a way to make daycare work. I mean why would a nanny want to work with you only for 5 months kwim?
  • JJ_13JJ_13
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    In your situation, I would quit but try to give ample notice (like a month or 6 weeks rather than the standard 2 weeks).
  • I remember some of your previous posts about this. I honestly think that the professional thing for you to do is finish out the time you committed to work.

    I know it's hard but you made a commitment and just saying that you're having trouble with childcare is not a great reason to go back on that at this point.
    DS: 2/17/11          DD: 9/4/13
  • aglennaglenn
    Long-Lasting Membership 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Meh, I don't think it would be a gigantic deal if you quit now, unless your absence is going to really cause a major issue (more major than a typical employee quitting with 2 wk notice).  These things happen all the time, and they suck for the employer, but it is part of life.  You already have a transition plan in place and if you could talk to them well in advance and do anything to speed/ease the transfer of duties to someone else that would help.  I just don't think it would cause you to be blacklisted forever or anything, and you might not care anyway if you plan to SAH for a while and/or do something different when you reenter the workforce.
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  • Is there a nanny service in your area?  I found a nanny match service near us and they also provide emergency nanny service.  By the time I broke down to call them, winter was nearly over and I only ended up using the nanny once.  But at least that is ONE number I have to call in the future if I need emergency childcare during the week, rather than a list of contacts that may or may not be available on short notice.  It'll cost you but they dl all the leg work.  It might be worth looking in to.

    I wouldn't burn a bridge even if you went in to a new field.  It is a small world.

  • My bump memory is not the best, but aren't you the poster who wrote the other day that you had two nannies you were choosing from and you really liked one of them - the hippy nanny?  Or do I have the wrong person?  What happened with that?

    I don't know your whole backstory, but if you made an agreement I would try to stick to it.  I know sometimes things get so overwhelming you just want to throw in the towel and if it really is that bad, then I can see why you just want to walk away.  But if I were you I would try to calmly sit down and think through your issues logically, and figure out if you really can make it work or are just hoping you can quit now and so you are letting these things be the excuse to do it.



  • Have you thought about a daycare? I send DS to a daycare that is part of a private school and I seriously love it. I would cry if he didn't go there. There are so many positive things about it above a nanny. Yes, it is harder on me because i have to do the whole drop off/pick up thing but it's worth it. It is also less than a nanny. Get rid of the nanny idea and find a stable daycare for your kids!! 

     If you need convincing, here it is: we were on vacation last week so DS was missing daycare. He kept asking for his teacher by name (and he barely talks at all). When I took him in yesterday, he started clapping and smiling. Then they had a puppet show, which he apparently loved. Today they had water day so he got to play in the baby pool and on the splash pad, which he loves. I am sure that he wouldn't have done either of these things with a nanny. 

    So, unless you live somewhere that does not offer childcare, I would be looking into why you think having inconsistent nannies/babysitters come is better than a stable environment (aka daycare or school).  

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