1st Trimester

Depressed and Confused....

Hi all, Im just over 9wks pregnant, over the moon of course as this is my first, but ive been feeling more and more depressed as the weeks go on. My weight before pregnancy was 10st 4lb...after weighing myself this morning, im 12st! Yes, you read it right. Im eating healthy and never over 2000 cals. As my weight crept up, i was so distraught that one day i barely had 1000cals...but the very next morning i had gained 1lb!! Its not normal and i dont understand, ive cancelled nights out already cause i look bloated, i look just awful, clothes dont fit...im too embarrassed and not to mention people will twig and ask the question....but this is not how i want my family to find out but the rate im going, i cant cover it up for much longer. My first midwife appointment is this Friday and my first scan on 5th Aug. Ive seen the doctor last week cause i was so worried but she said it was ok....but its so not ok to have put on 24lb in 9wks. I want to be happy and enjoy pregnancy but im not....im really sad and want to hide away from the world Sad
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Re: Depressed and Confused....

  • I'm sorry, but a lot of it can be bloat and water retention at this stage. I know it's stressful, but pregnancy means you will gain weight. It's part of the package deal. If gaining weight freaks you out that badly then speak with your doctor about a therapist, nutritionist and diet consult.

    Eating less than 1000 calories a day is not healthy for the average person when not pregnant. Don't deprive yourself of valuable nutrients and calories now. Your body is working hard to house your baby. Step away from the scale, focus on nutrition and try to get over your fear of gaining weight. It's a natural part of this process.

    Congratulations.
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  • Ur lucky I wish I was 12st but I'm currently 18st :O I hate my weight always struggled with it
  • Thank you and no, im not depressed about gaining weight, im happy to do what is best to help my baby grow and be safe. The depression comes from how much i have gained in only 9wks, its unheard of...im so embarrassed that i cant hide it and i dont want the news coming out before 3 months because i want to have my first scan and check all is ok.

    Im not eating 1000cals everyday, sometimes i do forget, but i did it that one time just to see and sure enough i had even put on a pound from eating that little. Crazy. I cant keep gaining like this, its not normal...its just not. Ive always had to watch my weight, so its not so alarming for me to watch my weight go up or down and dieting doesnt phase me...but i was totally unpreparred for a 2 stone gain in 2 months. I know everyone is different but in the first trimester youre expected to average between 5-10lbs...ive doubled that and then some and i still have 7 months to go!

  • You are in control of what goes into your mouth. There is no one but you to blame if your gain is due to overindulgence.

    1000 is not acceptable, not matter how forgettable you are. Set a reminder. Keep snacks on you. Quit making excuses for eating poorly. It's time to do so damage control and get your act together.

     

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  • Well thank you for your response but i think its a bit harsh and unkind and i dont need that kind of negativity right now.

    If you read my post i said i was eating healthy and its not because of eating like a pig, hence the confusion?!! As for the 1000 cals, as i explained, i did that once out of desperation and disbelief and no, i certainly dont do it all the time!

    But thank you for making me feel worse than i was...

  • I feel your pain!! I'm 8 weeks preggers with my 3rd I'm eating the healthiest with this pregnancy feel so huge! I don't weigh myself cause it'll make me anxious. I'm hoping that its just bloat retaining water once I'm in my 2nd trimester my weight will balance out as the bloat goes down then I'll slowly start gaining at a healthy rate. Try not to be depressed since your eating a healthy amount of calories healthy foods there's not much else you can do right now except hope like me it'll balance out in the meantime try to continue to conceal your bumpi know its hard until your comfortable sharing your happy news! Also drink lots of water. Good Luck
  • jrosa1jrosa1
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    Maybe try adding some light exercise? It might help with the weight gain and with the depressed feeling.
  • Before i got pregnant, i went to the gym regularly, as its at my work. Then baby comes along, the extreme fatigue hit me and i just couldnt do it. I have been but not much and im sure that doesnt help but im also worried about what to and not to do in the gym cause there is conflicting info...though it hasnt stopped me. Ive just been sensible.

    I just pray the gain slows down...never happened to my mum or sister, i just feel a bit cheated in as much as i want to enjoy it all but its been tiring and uncomfortable so far, as well as a little shocking for my body. I do hope it all changes

  • Where in the world did you hear that gaining weight in the first 9 weeks of pregnancy is unheard of?  Don't know what you have been reading or who you have been talking to, but that's simply NOT true.  As a previous poster stated, there is also alot of water retention in pregnancy and that's just part of the process.   I certainly wouldn't concern yourself over this - every woman is different and you can't compare yourself to other people.  

  • No, no, i didnt say gaining weight is unheard of...i said 2 stone in 9 weeks is unheard of...that is extreme by anyones standard!
  • image pippin77:
    No, no, i didnt say gaining weight is unheard of...i said 2 stone in 9 weeks is unheard of...that is extreme by anyones standard!


    I thought you said a trained doctor told you not to worry? I'm confused because you said here:

    image pippin77:
    Ive seen the doctor last week cause i was so worried but she said it was ok....but its so not ok to have put on 24lb in 9wks


    Either the doctor concerned or not. By his/her standards its alright according to what you said. Not trying to be an argumentative person, just reading what you wrote and expressing confusion.

    However, 28 lbs can be considered a lot if its true weight and not water/bloat. Are you swelling? Since you are concerned I'd ask my doctor about a referral to a nutritionist to manage my weight gain further.
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  • Try not to get hung up over the amount you have gianed early on. It doesn't mean that your weight gain will stay exactly like that as the pregnancy progresses. Everyone's body is different. You might find a week or so goes by & you gain no weight. As long as you are doing yuor part to be active enough & eating right, the body does what it needs to naturally. Whether you like what it is needing to do is a whole other story.

    Talk to your Dr about a daily calorie goal for your specific body type & lifestyle. You should be able to remain just as active as you were pre-pregnancy, but talk with your Dr to confirm that your excercize routine is ok for you.  Follow their advice when it comes to these 2 factors & share your concerns with them. Depression can quickly grab hold of your mentality and then directly affect your eating & activity level... thus creating a downward spiral for you.

    Hope you can turn your attitude around on this issue... so you can start enjoybeing PG!

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  • I am at week 7 and feel more round than ever lol. But when I was last weighed I hadn't really gained at all. It is mainly bloating and water retention but my clothes are super snug. I hear it will last through 12 weeks and even longer for some. Embrace it but please make sure and keep the calories up. Sometimes I am not hungry but I will still eat some fruit or whole grain bread or veggie snacks. It is very important. But honestly, if you gain or retain water who cares! Just smile, you are making a human!
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  • I had GD (diabetes for pregnant women) with my ds so I considered everything that I ate. BUT I was not weight obsessed. In fact I was worried that I would become obsessed so I would not step on the scale at home and at the dr's I would step on the scale backwards. I let the doctor monitor my weight and I ate the best I could. The weight comes and goes during pregnancy, it is not a steady increase. You will gain a lot in one week and nothing the next. Also I would try to get out and exercise. It will give you more energy, possibly make labor easier, and make you feel better. You recent weight gain may be due to stopping exercise and your metabolism may need time to adjust. Just try to go for a walk in the evening. 
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  • image pippin77:

    Before i got pregnant, i went to the gym regularly, as its at my work. Then baby comes along, the extreme fatigue hit me and i just couldnt do it. I have been but not much and im sure that doesnt help but im also worried about what to and not to do in the gym cause there is conflicting info...though it hasnt stopped me. Ive just been sensible.

    I just pray the gain slows down...never happened to my mum or sister, i just feel a bit cheated in as much as i want to enjoy it all but its been tiring and uncomfortable so far, as well as a little shocking for my body. I do hope it all changes

    So you drastically decreased your activity level and kept your calorie intake the same and you are confused how you gained a crap load of weight (which some likely is water weight).

    Really? Especially considering apparently this is what you do for a living- really?

     

     

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  • KC2891KC2891
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    She doesn't work at a gym for a living. Her office has a gym. 24 lbs is a decent amount of weight for the first trimester and I understand her concern and why she's uncomfortable. I think she just wants a little support and compassion.
  • image KC2891:
    She doesn't work at a gym for a living. Her office has a gym. 24 lbs is a decent amount of weight for the first trimester and I understand her concern and why she's uncomfortable. I think she just wants a little support and compassion.

    She has been advised to seek out a nutritionist if she is concerned. I don't think this post is lacking in compassion for OP's situation. Simply that if she is concerned about the weight she has already gained there isn't much to be done about it now. She can only look forward and manage the rest of her weight gain with the help of professionals.  

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  • image KC2891:
    She doesn't work at a gym for a living. Her office has a gym. 24 lbs is a decent amount of weight for the first trimester and I understand her concern and why she's uncomfortable. I think she just wants a little support and compassion.

    I misread that. But it's still a little bit of common sense. If you drop your activity, your calorie intake needs to drop. And her intake is honestly at a fairly high level for her weight. If she is of average height, at zero activity she needs around 1600 calories daily to maintain 140 lbs. An extra 400 a day will add up very quickly, plus gains from being pregnant, I can see how she got to where she is. And she needs to do something about it, not wallow in self pity like she is.

    If she is truly depressed over it (which I doubt, she's more likely upset) then she needs to seek out some therapy and a nutritionist.

     

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  • image KC2891:
    She doesn't work at a gym for a living. Her office has a gym. 24 lbs is a decent amount of weight for the first trimester and I understand her concern and why she's uncomfortable. I think she just wants a little support and compassion.
    Yes
  • Since nobody else has noted this yet, it is possible that the weight gain could be attributed to other factors such as quitting smoking, quitting medications or quitting hormonal birth control shortly before TTC. My sister gained a little over one stone (15 pounds) in her first trimester because she quit smoking and quit taking Adderal. I gained almost 10 pounds in the 4 months after I quit my birth control pills.Your doctor may not be concerned if he/she is aware of those factors.

    If you aren't sure the doc is really paying attention, ask the doc what he or she would recommend. Maybe thyroid testing or something similar would be the next step, but chances are good if all the regular testing you've done already is normal, then it's just the hand that your hormones and lifestyle have dealt you.

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  • It's a little confusing and somewhat sad how crapy SOME (not all) of your attitudes are. You claim you're being "honest" and "blunt", when really that's a guise as it's obvious you're just being jerks. It's as though you use these boards to let out your agressions on the first poster who shows a little vulnerability. From my experience, people who act that way are extremely unhappy with their lives. I hope you get help for that and stop taking it out on posters who are,yes, looking for advice but also looking for support during what is for many a very difficult time. Do better.

     

    To pippin77, I completely understand your concern with the weight gain. I agree with one poster who mentioned that a lot of it is probably fluid retention. With mybfirst pregnancy I had gained 75 lbd by month 8. A one point i even gained 19lbs in one month, and I, like you, was bery concerned. It was awful,but I believe it was because i wasn't watching my weight. My stomach would get upset and I'd eat whatever made me feel good whichbwas usually potatoes and breads. The good news is I was able to lose all of the weight. I ammcurrently 10 weeks pregnant with my second, and am doing a few things differently. I am a lot more active this time. I try to push myself to workout 5-6 times a week. Before i got pregnant i worked out six times a week with three of those days being tunning days (im no star runner by any means, though). I have terrible morning sickness and heartburn, so i have to eat carbs even though they make me gain weight quickly, but i try to eat healthy carbs like baked potatoes instead of fries, cheerios instaed of high sugar cereals or patries and brown rice instead of white. It is a struggle, but if you can figure put how to get more exercise in, even if you have to take it slow, and keep watching your food intake like you already are, i believe you will balance out and the gain will slow down. For example, i had gone 8weeks with no gain. Then at 8 weeks morning sickness kicked in, i only woked out twice intead of my normal 6 day a week routine, i ate way more carbs than normal and within a week i had gained 10lbs. Since ive gotten somewhat of a handle on my sickness, about 4lbs of that has gone away, so it could have just been water weight. All of this to say, I understand your frustration. Try to decide on an exercise routine, and don't go crazy with scale watching but do keep an eye on things. Hope you get to feeling better!

  • image TheFutureMrsRucker:

    It's a little confusing and somewhat sad how crapy SOME (not all) of your attitudes are. You claim you're being "honest" and "blunt", when really that's a guise as it's obvious you're just being jerks. It's as though you use these boards to let out your agressions on the first poster who shows a little vulnerability. From my experience, people who act that way are extremely unhappy with their lives. I hope you get help for that and stop taking it out on posters who are,yes, looking for advice but also looking for support during what is for many a very difficult time. Do better.

    Yeah, giving orders won't make you very many friends, FYI.  

    Riiiiight. You are new here. Stick around. You'll see how things actually function. I promise that your attitude and sanctimonious lecturing is far more annoying that us giving the OP straight talk.

    My life is absolutely fabulous. OP got plenty of support and great advice. Please do more lurking and less complaining.   

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  • SagenSagen
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    To be honest, and not in a mean way at all, I would be worried. I didn't work out in the first trimester because I was so sick, so I completely get that. It sounds like you are trying to eat healthy as well (aside from the day you at too little but you knew that). I would set up an appointment with a dietitian, or talk to you Dr. about it more. A large amount of weight gain in the first trimester puts you at a greater risk for gestational diabetes. If you get on top of it now, and figure out what is going on, I am sure you can reduce your risk. Good luck, and I am sorry you are going through this!

    http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/03/11/us-first-trimester-idUSTRE62A57L20100311 

     
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  • Thank you so much to everyone who has given genuine advice, not been judgemental and actually trying to help me...you have no idea how much youre helping.

    I really dont understand why people are being so spiteful and downright nasty, you dont know me so why do you feel as though you can unleash your frustrations on me?

    I have not been pregnant before, without breaking the news yet im limited on who i can talk to (hence being on here), i havent had my first midwife appointment yet, im 35, 5'6" and healthy and yes, before pregnancy i exercised regularly. To set those of you straight that are pretty much suggesting i have gotten pregnant, stopped exercising completely and have a 10 course meal everyday consisting of hamburgers and chocolate - youre all wrong!

    Im a sensible girl and i work two jobs, so i dont have time to be lazy and no i havent been scoffing my face, i ate less than 2000 cals to maintain my figure before because thats what is required for my body and lifestyle....SO, that is why i am concerned with the rapid gain...i dont think thats so hard to understand? I am now keeping a diary of everything that passes my lips so i can show the midwife but i really do hope a lot of it is water at this early stage...thanks ladies.

    I am anxious with everything at the moment as it wasnt a planned pregnancy, though im so excited, so if you have nothing of value to offer and nothing but spite...please dont bother posting!

  • Relax and breathe !! Don't worry it means your baby is growing ! Talk to your midwife about the weight gain that seems much In a short amount of time and I know everything will be fine! Listen to your baby's heartbeat and sure you'll feel better!!!! Remember don't stress about anything becuz the baby senses it. Be happy and strong ! You can do this!!!!
  • image pippin77:
    Thank you so much to everyone who has given genuine advice, not been judgemental and actually trying to help me...you have no idea how much youre helping.

    You got a LOT of help from most everyone who posted here.  

    image pippin77:I really dont understand why people are being so spiteful and downright nasty, you dont know me so why do you feel as though you can unleash your frustrations on me?

    If you are going to call people out then do it by name. Who is unleashing their frustrations on you?

    image pippin77:so if you have nothing of value to offer and nothing but spite...please dont bother posting!

    You got plenty of really good advice. Please please please don't start your time here by trying to give orders to folks that have been here longer than you. It makes you seem juvenile and unappreciative of the people that took the time to post in your thread. You have to learn that you will get all kinds of answers on here. I say this as trying to be nice to you as a newbie. Really, you can't tell people when, where or what to post. Just like we can't tell you what to do. You can post whatever you want and the rest of us can too.

    Complain all you want. You and your little white knight from earlier are not going to change the way TB operates. It just won't. You, single handedly, are not going to magically change posters that you disagree with into cuddly, pat-your-head and coddle you type posters. Its just not going to happen. Make your peace with it.  

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  • As other posters have said alot of it is probably water weight that will likely ebb and flow as you progress. For the time being, just relax. If you are really distraught, maybe give your dr a call and ask if you can bump up your appointment so you don't have to wait as long to talk to them.

    Also, in terms of people being forward...I wouldn't worry about it. People are just telling it like it is...yes some people are kind of nasty but it honestly can help sometimes to just hear the plain truth instead of all puppies and rainbows. It gives a different perspective. Just take it for what it is and then move on if it upsets you. If you want really nasty responses, go on the working women board. holy cow!

  • image clo1982:

     It gives a different perspective. Just take it for what it is and then move on if it upsets you. If you want really nasty responses, go on the working women board. holy cow!

    oh girl, another tip to make your life easier: its never a good idea to bad mouth one board to another. I promise you posters from the Working Moms board lurk here too and there might be some that are pregnant in first trimester. 

     

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  • I actually wasn't talking about you, but aparently the shoe fit. Strange you felt the need to respond. But you're right, I am new and "just don't get it" i suppose. I'm ok with that.

    I'm glad your life if fabulous. Thanks for letting me know.

    But I have no need for online frinds  and "I won't be sticking around" I'm here for the info, which is great! but the attitudes, not so much. And as for giving orders, that wasn't my intent, but I see you doing the same here. "Please do more lurking" sounds like an order to me. Pot. Kettle. Good day. 

     

     

  • image PrimRoseMama:
    I'm sorry, but a lot of it can be bloat and water retention at this stage. I know it's stressful, but pregnancy means you will gain weight. It's part of the package deal. If gaining weight freaks you out that badly then speak with your doctor about a therapist, nutritionist and diet consult. Eating less than 1000 calories a day is not healthy for the average person when not pregnant. Don't deprive yourself of valuable nutrients and calories now. Your body is working hard to house your baby. Step away from the scale, focus on nutrition and try to get over your fear of gaining weight. It's a natural part of this process. Congratulations.

    All of this. I went in yesterday and am up 4 pounds, but my doctor said in reality probably 6 of the 4 pounds is being constipated, retaining water, etc. Be healthy, be active, and step away from the scale!  


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