I dont see the problem with it, but I have only ever been to two baby showers in my life. If you can host your own birthday party, why cant you host your own baby shower? I wouldnt say it was common, but I wouldnt be offended if someone invited me to a shower they were hosting for themselves/their baby.
...I've never hosted my own birthday party. Am I missing something? How is that okay? If someone doesn't offer to plan a party for me, I don't have one. As I result, I didn't have birthday parties between 18 and 21, or since. (I'm 22, so I expect this trend to continue). Guess what, I'm going to be just fine! It just seems weird to me to plan a party to expect people to bring presents for me. Baby showers, same thing, obviously!
::highjacks thread:: huh??! I have planned awesome bday parties for both myself and DH, and most people don't bring gifts. In fact, we supply the food, booze, entertainment, etc. We had a Vegas themed bday party last year where we had gambling stations and the person with the most chips at the end won a prize. How is that NOT okay?
And back on topic, throwing a shower for oneself is in poor form, IMO.
I don't think birthday parties = baby showers, in terms of whether gifts are expected. At some point in adult life (or immediately after childhood, for many of us), birthday parties are less about gifts and more about getting friends together for a good time. Showers, OTOH, are specifically for "showering" people with gifts, so that expectation is always there. In my experience with adults' birthday parties, people who want to bring gifts will, and if they don't, no big deal. The host/ess of his/her own birthday party doesn't sit down and open gifts in front of everyone the way a mom- or bride-to-be would at a baby or bridal shower, because that's not the purpose of the party.
Or at least that's my distinction between the two. I just went to my friend's 30th birthday party that he hosted...he rented a smoker and cooked beef and chicken for everyone and provided the rest of the food/drinks, and no one brought gifts. I don't see anything wrong with that...it was basically just a party. However, if he had sent out birthday party invitations with the link to his Amazon Wishlist, that would be akin to hosting your own baby shower and soliciting gifts from guests.
I dont see the problem with it, but I have only ever been to two baby showers in my life. If you can host your own birthday party, why cant you host your own baby shower? I wouldnt say it was common, but I wouldnt be offended if someone invited me to a shower they were hosting for themselves/their baby.
...I've never hosted my own birthday party. Am I missing something? How is that okay? If someone doesn't offer to plan a party for me, I don't have one. As I result, I didn't have birthday parties between 18 and 21, or since. (I'm 22, so I expect this trend to continue). Guess what, I'm going to be just fine! It just seems weird to me to plan a party to expect people to bring presents for me. Baby showers, same thing, obviously!
::highjacks thread:: huh??! I have planned awesome bday parties for both myself and DH, and most people don't bring gifts. In fact, we supply the food, booze, entertainment, etc. We had a Vegas themed bday party last year where we had gambling stations and the person with the most chips at the end won a prize. How is that NOT okay?
And back on topic, throwing a shower for oneself is in poor form, IMO.
I don't think birthday parties = baby showers, in terms of whether gifts are expected. At some point in adult life (or immediately after childhood, for many of us), birthday parties are less about gifts and more about getting friends together for a good time. Showers, OTOH, are specifically for "showering" people with gifts, so that expectation is always there. In my experience with adults' birthday parties, people who want to bring gifts will, and if they don't, no big deal. The host/ess of his/her own birthday party doesn't sit down and open gifts in front of everyone the way a mom- or bride-to-be would at a baby or bridal shower, because that's not the purpose of the party.
Or at least that's my distinction between the two. I just went to my friend's 30th birthday party that he hosted...he rented a smoker and cooked beef and chicken for everyone and provided the rest of the food/drinks, and no one brought gifts. I don't see anything wrong with that...it was basically just a party. However, if he had sent out birthday party invitations with the link to his Amazon Wishlist, that would be akin to hosting your own baby shower and soliciting gifts from guests.
Yes, exactly!
Fair enough, I guess I'm just uncomfortable with it. I see the distinction though. Thanks for the clarification.
Here's the thing. I'm a newbie and from my brief time on this board it appears that the CW (conventional wisdom) regarding showers is:
You (and your family) shouldn't host one.
You should only have one, ever.
A couple of times, I (and a few other brave souls) have expressed contrary opinions and been shouted down. It's pretty ironic that the very members preaching about rudeness have no problem whatsoever being rude to people who don't share their opinion.
And that's all it comes down to: opinions. You (and your friends and family) think X is okay, others don't. At the end of the day, SO FREAKING WHAT? You want to throw yourself ten showers with ten different themes and take an ad out in the paper demanding that everyone from the Pope to President Obama attend and assign them gifts to bring? GO. FOR. IT. It's your life! Will people side eye and mock? OF COURSE THEY WILL. But some people side eye and mock EVERYTHING!
I think the only mistake you're making is attempting to change the culture of this community. Overall, I find this particular sub-board to be judgemental. Again, that's my opinion. (Cue all of the: "Well, if you don't like it here...", "You just can't handle the TRUTH...", and "We're just trying to stop people from making fools of themselves..." and "She asked! We answered!" comments)
You're about to be a mom and be responsible for another human being. Who cares what a bunch of strangers on the interwebs say?
Here's the thing. I'm a newbie and from my brief time on this board it appears that the CW (conventional wisdom) regarding showers is:
You (and your family) shouldn't host one.
You should only have one, ever.
A couple of times, I (and a few other brave souls) have expressed contrary opinions and been shouted down. It's pretty ironic that the very members preaching about rudeness have no problem whatsoever being rude to people who don't share their opinion.
And that's all it comes down to: opinions. You (and your friends and family) think X is okay, others don't. At the end of the day, SO FREAKING WHAT? You want to throw yourself ten showers with ten different themes and take an ad out in the paper demanding that everyone from the Pope to President Obama attend and assign them gifts to bring? GO. FOR. IT. It's your life! Will people side eye and mock? OF COURSE THEY WILL. But some people side eye and mock EVERYTHING!
I think the only mistake you're making is attempting to change the culture of this community. Overall, I find this particular sub-board to be judgemental. Again, that's my opinion. (Cue all of the: "Well, if you don't like it here...", "You just can't handle the TRUTH...", and "We're just trying to stop people from making fools of themselves..." and "She asked! We answered!" comments)
You're about to be a mom and be responsible for another human being. Who cares what a bunch of strangers on the interwebs say?
Have your shower, be happy, live your life.
Who let the twit on the board?
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Here's the thing. I'm a newbie and from my brief time on this board it appears that the CW (conventional wisdom) regarding showers is:
You (and your family) shouldn't host one.
You should only have one, ever.
A couple of times, I (and a few other brave souls) have expressed contrary opinions and been shouted down. It's pretty ironic that the very members preaching about rudeness have no problem whatsoever being rude to people who don't share their opinion.
And that's all it comes down to: opinions. You (and your friends and family) think X is okay, others don't. At the end of the day, SO FREAKING WHAT? You want to throw yourself ten showers with ten different themes and take an ad out in the paper demanding that everyone from the Pope to President Obama attend and assign them gifts to bring? GO. FOR. IT. It's your life! Will people side eye and mock? OF COURSE THEY WILL. But some people side eye and mock EVERYTHING!
I think the only mistake you're making is attempting to change the culture of this community. Overall, I find this particular sub-board to be judgemental. Again, that's my opinion. (Cue all of the: "Well, if you don't like it here...", "You just can't handle the TRUTH...", and "We're just trying to stop people from making fools of themselves..." and "She asked! We answered!" comments)
You're about to be a mom and be responsible for another human being. Who cares what a bunch of strangers on the interwebs say?
Have your shower, be happy, live your life.
FFS. No. When it comes to class and humility, you should NOT be giving advice.
Re: Perspectives on etiquette
Yes, exactly!
Fair enough, I guess I'm just uncomfortable with it. I see the distinction though. Thanks for the clarification.
Here's the thing. I'm a newbie and from my brief time on this board it appears that the CW (conventional wisdom) regarding showers is:
You (and your family) shouldn't host one.
You should only have one, ever.
A couple of times, I (and a few other brave souls) have expressed contrary opinions and been shouted down. It's pretty ironic that the very members preaching about rudeness have no problem whatsoever being rude to people who don't share their opinion.
And that's all it comes down to: opinions. You (and your friends and family) think X is okay, others don't. At the end of the day, SO FREAKING WHAT? You want to throw yourself ten showers with ten different themes and take an ad out in the paper demanding that everyone from the Pope to President Obama attend and assign them gifts to bring? GO. FOR. IT. It's your life! Will people side eye and mock? OF COURSE THEY WILL. But some people side eye and mock EVERYTHING!
I think the only mistake you're making is attempting to change the culture of this community. Overall, I find this particular sub-board to be judgemental. Again, that's my opinion. (Cue all of the: "Well, if you don't like it here...", "You just can't handle the TRUTH...", and "We're just trying to stop people from making fools of themselves..." and "She asked! We answered!" comments)
You're about to be a mom and be responsible for another human being. Who cares what a bunch of strangers on the interwebs say?
Have your shower, be happy, live your life.
Who let the twit on the board?
FFS. No. When it comes to class and humility, you should NOT be giving advice.
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