April 2013 Moms

Trouble

My LO always sleeps in her swing and I know it is something we need to deal with sooner rather than later.  So at this weeks appointment I discussed it with the pediatrician and asked for a smooth way (not CIO) to help transition her to the crib.  After discussing our bed time routine, which ends by being nursed to sleep.  My pedi stated that my LO does not know how to put herself to sleep that she is always been put to sleep while nursing to moving.   She recommended the book "baby wise"  I have not gotten it yet but when I googled it to find prices all that came up was controversy about it. I figured I could get it and take what I want from it. 

Well now I am sitting here at nap time and every time pop her off my breast (when she is asleep) she wakes up and is upset searching for it.  So I tried holding her off and soothing her, it doesn't work. So I am holding her in tears that my baby cannot put herself to sleep and it is my fault.

Anyone have any tips or book recommendations?  I feel like she is still so young but the longer I wait the harder it will be.  Full on CIO is not an option, getting a magic suit is not an option and I just posted how she breaks out of her swaddle in 20 minutes and wakes herself up (so although I swaddle it is not a solution either)

I have so many bad habits for her I have to break and I thought I was doing the right thing by soothing her this whole time :(  She only sleeps when moving, she falls asleep on my boob and now I have learned she cannot put herself to sleep :(

Please help me


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Re: Trouble

  • leasajleasaj
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
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    I'm there with you. My LO fights sleep unless in her swing. It now takes me FOREVER to get her to sleep because I'm trying to only let her sleep in swing once a day. My LO also doesnt put herself to sleep. I have to get her sleeping good before trying to put her down. I love our prebed snuggle time. I'm not sure I'm ready to give that up. I know, its selfish of me.
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  • I read Babywise.  I had heard all the bad stuff, but then my SIL told me that it was what she and my brother had used to sleep train their (perfect) 5 year old and 2 year old.  so I read it.

    I think that, like anything else, you have to take it with a grain of salt.  Obviously if you baby is hungry, you are going to feed your baby, and not wait until they are "supposed" to eat.  Similar with sleeping.  You're not going to wake them up just so they are only sleeping during the times they are "supposed" to be.  

    You have to decide what feels right to you -- it is a personal decision and what is right for one mom is not right for all.  Bottom line is do whatever is best for YOUR family - and don't let anybody make you feel bad about that.

    I found the "eat, play, sleep" method very helpful in getting through month 2 of life with my LO -- it allowed me to have a little bit more of a life, because I knew SORT OF when he was going to need/want to eat, and that he'd probably fall asleep abotu 30 minutes after that

    I should add, however, that my little guy is a pretty good sleeper and transitioned to his crib at 8 weeks with no issues.  

    Good luck -- honestly, I read the book thinking 'what on earth is so controversial about this?!"

     

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  • image ToAoShesha:
    My LO always sleeps in her swing and I know it is something we need to deal with sooner rather than later.nbsp; So at this weeks appointment I discussed it with the pediatrician and asked for a smooth way not CIO to help transition her to the crib.nbsp; After discussing our bed time routine, which ends by being nursed to sleep.nbsp; My pedi stated that my LO does not know how to put herself to sleep that she is always been put to sleep while nursing to moving.nbsp;nbsp; She recommended the book "baby wise"nbsp; I have not gotten it yet but when I googled it to find prices all that came up was controversy about it. I figured I could get it and take what I want from it.nbsp; Well now I am sitting here at nap time and every time pop her off my breast when she is asleep she wakes up and is upset searching for it.nbsp; So I tried holding her off and soothing her, it doesn't work. So I am holding her in tears that my baby cannot put herself to sleep and it is my fault.Anyone have any tips or book recommendations?nbsp; I feel like she is still so young but the longer I wait the harder it will be.nbsp; Full on CIO is not an option, getting a magic suit is not an option and I just posted how she breaks out of her swaddle in 20 minutes and wakes herself up so although I swaddle it is not a solution eitherI have so many bad habits for her I have to break and I thought I was doing the right thing by soothing her this whole time :nbsp; She only sleeps when moving, she falls asleep on my boob and now I have learned she cannot put herself to sleep :Please help me

    This may not be what you want to hear, but maybe youe baby is just not ready to learn to fall asleep on her own yet. She won't nurse to sleep forever. Does she ever come off the boob herself? That's a starting point. And as for sleeping in the swing, we are thrilled because we finally got our son to START sleeping in the swing about two weeks ago. Before that he would only sleep on or immediately next to us. So it's all relative. Why not just give your baby a little more time? Supposedly babies cannot selfsoothe before four months anyway. I think many problems people have with their babies come from trying to get them to do certain things before they are ready. You haven't wrecked your baby, honest!
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  • Sometimes you need to become a feeling mom instead of a thinking mom. If you want to nurse your baby to sleep, then DO IT. There is nothing wrong with that. MOST babies need something to help them sleep such as a swaddle, noise, movement, a soother, nursing.... You cannot create bad habits before the age of 6 months. If you are ok nursing your baby to slep, then do it. There are no wrong or right answers. Do what works for you
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  • Thankfully mine sleeps nights in her PNP fine but she will only nap in her swing.   I fear this is partly why I can't get out of the house and expect her to nap in her cars eat.  

     

    Ive tried her RNP, PNP swaddle, white noise, nothing helps so for sanity I keep giving in and letting her swing.  

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  • image leasaj:
    I'm there with you. My LO fights sleep unless in her swing. It now takes me FOREVER to get her to sleep because I'm trying to only let her sleep in swing once a day. My LO also doesnt put herself to sleep. I have to get her sleeping good before trying to put her down. I love our prebed snuggle time. I'm not sure I'm ready to give that up. I know, its selfish of me.


    Why are you fighting it? Your baby is TELLING you she needs movement to sleep. It's NORMAL for babies to need help to sleep. Stop putting pressure on them. They cannot self soothe
    TTC since May 2012; BFP July 31st, 2012; EDD April 13th, 2013 BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker Anniversary
  • My advice?  Don't fight it.  She's still so little, and nursing is a natural way for her to soothe. There is nothing wrong with it.

    you have plenty of time to break these "bad habits".  Theyre not habits at this point, she still needs you to help her.  Start by trying to rock and nurse her until she is almost asleep, then try to lay her down drowsy with whatever you think might help--swaddle, white noise, sleep sheep, etc.  eventually she will learn how to fall asleep on her own but at this age there is nothing wrong with her needing your help to do it. 

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  • leasajleasaj
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
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    image RussianMommy:
    image leasaj:
    I'm there with you. My LO fights sleep unless in her swing. It now takes me FOREVER to get her to sleep because I'm trying to only let her sleep in swing once a day. My LO also doesnt put herself to sleep. I have to get her sleeping good before trying to put her down. I love our prebed snuggle time. I'm not sure I'm ready to give that up. I know, its selfish of me.


    Why are you fighting it? Your baby is TELLING you she needs movement to sleep. It's NORMAL for babies to need help to sleep. Stop putting pressure on them. They cannot self soothe


    I don't fight with her....she fights falling asleep. She doesn't nap well....never has. She will almost fall asleep and wake herself up...continuously. I walk her, rock her, etc to help her fall asleep.
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  • Thank you everyone! I am okay with the way things are she is still so little and I love the cuddles! But I felt like if I don't do it now it will never happen. I like the idea to feel instead of think. Than you for the support and letting me know I am not horrible that I am in deed just being there for my baby

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  • image ToAoShesha:
    Thank you everyone! I am okay with the way things are she is still so little and I love the cuddles! But I felt like if I don't do it now it will never happen. I like the idea to feel instead of think. Than you for the support and letting me know I am not horrible that I am in deed just being there for my baby


    Even if your baby is 8 months old and you still nurse her to sleep, who cares. You do what works for you. You're doing a good job!!
    TTC since May 2012; BFP July 31st, 2012; EDD April 13th, 2013 BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker Anniversary
  • I nursed my son to sleep until he was 15 months and my milk ran out. From there, it was a pretty smoothe transition for him going to sleep on his own with minimal crying. It did not rot his teeth or cause him to have a permanent sleep disorder. I highly recommend the books "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" and "The No Cry Sleep Solution." Also, the transition to the swing may be easier than you think. Once baby's circadian rhythm is fully developed, babies naturally sleep deeper at night and fall into a deep sleep while nursing so they are easier to move. Once this happens, baby won't need motion to keep him sleeping.
  • I really enjoyed reading the two books by The Baby Whisperer.  In many ways, it is similar to Babywise, but a kinder version.  She doesn't suggest CIO, she uses something called the pick up, put down method.  Also, she suggests a routine, not schedule, of EASY, which is basically eat, activity, sleep.  I found the 2nd book, something like "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" to be more helpful than the first.  
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  • Your baby is not even 4 months old yet. Too young for the CIO techniques. At this age I would spend zero time thinking about how to get my kid to stop nursing to sleep. They are supposed to do that at this age. Start thinking about it again when you reach 6 months. Many of these things work themselves out. Try to put baby down sometimes when drowsy if the opportunity arises, but if it doesnt, let baby nurse to sleep. It won't go on forever. This is such a short time in life, don't rush it.

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