Blended Families

Waiting

We've been in St. Louis all afternoon. We went to see family before picking up SD. Pickup time was six. Is six. According to the CO. She said she'd be an hour late. Which already sucks, but we found a park and a coffee shop near by. She just text and said it would be two hours. We're already two hours from home. I am not happy. This is effing ridiculous.

First flipping exchange and it's a nightmare. This is making me not look forward to dealing with these exchanges.
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Bonus Mom to the Bean: June '06

Re: Waiting

  • Sorry, that really sucks!

    My CO is super vague, but XH and I have more or less followed Florida's long distance parenting agreement. It says that if one party is 30 minutes (or more) late, the person who is waiting is within their rights to leave.

    I mention that only to say what a state/court has deemed a reasonable waiting period.

    Maybe after this, hash out a plan B and make her agree to it? Perhaps if she is more than 30-45 minutes late she needs to be accountable for bringing SD to you? Or the next time it is her parenting time, she will come and pick SD up from your home? I don't know how you handle transportation, so I'm just throwing stuff out there.

    Sorry you're dealing with this! 

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  • If we weren't picking up, we'd leave. It just sucks that it's now a two hour distance instead of the five minutes it used to be. They went to the lake and basically didn't plan at all. She probably told FI that we didn't mind.

    DH is going to tell her that the next return will be done by her, and she will have her to our house by six. I hate that she's still jerking us around.
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    Bonus Mom to the Bean: June '06
  • I somehow deleted this on accident...

    BM called and said she was waiting on SD. We asked why she was waiting, we thought she was with her at the lake. SD was with FI's mom all weekend. And at least one night this week. She hasn't even been with BM.

    So now we won't get her until tomorrow morning. OMFG
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    Bonus Mom to the Bean: June '06
  • SpookoSpooko
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    image andrea99:
    I somehow deleted this on accident... BM called and said she was waiting on SD. We asked why she was waiting, we thought she was with her at the lake. SD was with FI's mom all weekend. And at least one night this week. She hasn't even been with BM. So now we won't get her until tomorrow morning. OMFG
     
    How freaking annoying. 

  • If pickup time is 6 according to the CO, and she is not there then she is in contempt. It`s that simple.
    imageNo one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • image cole2144:
    If pickup time is 6 according to the CO, and she is not there then she is in contempt. Its that simple.


    Especially if you won't get her until morning now. Make sure you are documenting and making her aware that she is violating CO and if it happens again then file contempt.
  • image SimpleJane:
    image cole2144:
    If pickup time is 6 according to the CO, and she is not there then she is in contempt. Its that simple.


    Especially if you won't get her until morning now. Make sure you are documenting and making her aware that she is violating CO and if it happens again then file contempt.

    We're definitely documenting. We took screen shots of the texts and will write this all down. She knows we'll file contempt next time.
    http://whoaflow.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/9.gif
    Bonus Mom to the Bean: June '06
  • image andrea99:
    I somehow deleted this on accident... BM called and said she was waiting on SD. We asked why she was waiting, we thought she was with her at the lake. SD was with FI's mom all weekend. And at least one night this week. She hasn't even been with BM. So now we won't get her until tomorrow morning. OMFG

    My blood would be BOILING. I can't believe BM didn't even spend time with SD this past weekend. She really doesn't care... how sad.

    Please tell me BM will be driving SD to you? 

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  • image andrea99:
    image SimpleJane:
    image cole2144:
    If pickup time is 6 according to the CO, and she is not there then she is in contempt. Its that simple.
    Especially if you won't get her until morning now. Make sure you are documenting and making her aware that she is violating CO and if it happens again then file contempt.
    We're definitely documenting. We took screen shots of the texts and will write this all down. She knows we'll file contempt next time.

    Well at least she knows you are not playing around and will file contempt. 

    imageNo one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • image twister22:

    image andrea99:
    I somehow deleted this on accident...

    BM called and said she was waiting on SD. We asked why she was waiting, we thought she was with her at the lake. SD was with FI's mom all weekend. And at least one night this week. She hasn't even been with BM.

    So now we won't get her until tomorrow morning. OMFG

    My blood would be BOILING. I can't believe BM didn't even spend time with SD this past weekend. She really doesn't care... how sad.

    Please tell me BM will be driving SD to you? 


    Yes. She'll have her at our house by 9. We've been ranting the entire drive home lol
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    Bonus Mom to the Bean: June '06
  • image cole2144:

    image andrea99:
    image SimpleJane:
    image cole2144:
    If pickup time is 6 according to the CO, and she is not there then she is in contempt. Its that simple.


    Especially if you won't get her until morning now. Make sure you are documenting and making her aware that she is violating CO and if it happens again then file contempt.

    We're definitely documenting. We took screen shots of the texts and will write this all down. She knows we'll file contempt next time.

    Well at least she knows you are not playing around and will file contempt. 


    We looked up all the local laws and repercussions and are going to print them off for her. Just so she has no excuse to act naive.
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    Bonus Mom to the Bean: June '06
  • Did you ask her why she bothered getting SD if she had no intention on bring with her?
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • image Littlejen22:
    Did you ask her why she bothered getting SD if she had no intention on bring with her?

    We didn't ask. DH did tell her that if she planned on not being with her to let us have her instead of pawning her off on FI's family and lying about it. She probably wanted to look good since we just had all of these custody changes. Not like SD wouldn't tell us about going away all weekend...
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    Bonus Mom to the Bean: June '06
  • What you do next time, is contact the local police department to meet you at the BM's house so you can have an official documentation.  


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  • image Ilumine:

    What you do next time, is contact the local police department to meet you at the BM's house so you can have an official documentation.  


    Yes make sure you do this, otherwise it's her word against your word. Having a police report makes it legal. However, you do have the screen shots of the texts which proves BM didn't hand SD over. I would still get an official police report next time, though. 

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  • image twister22:
    image Ilumine:

    What you do next time, is contact the local police department to meet you at the BM's house so you can have an official documentation.  


    Yes make sure you do this, otherwise it's her word against your word. Having a police report makes it legal. However, you do have the screen shots of the texts which proves BM didn't hand SD over. I would still get an official police report next time, though. 

    Since this was the first exchange in St Louis we were naive in thinking nothing would go wrong, so we didn't bring the new CO with us.  I'm sure BM would have "lost" her copy had we needed it.  We will have it from now on, in case we ever need to get police involved.  Thanks ladies!

    http://whoaflow.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/9.gif
    Bonus Mom to the Bean: June '06
  • wow that would have me fuming. The last visitation BD had started in a similar way. He said he would let me know what time to meet him. I told him I wasn't leaving my house after 8:30 and if he couldn't leave until after that then he would have to come get DS himself (1.5hrs one way). Guess what time he told me to leave? I told him I wasn't going to waity a half hour for him either. Guess who ended up waiting over 45 minutes? If BD's GF's kids weren't there waiting also I'd have left. But DS really only gets excited to go to BD's so he can see the other kids and I would've felt like a jerk if I said we were leaving. I just told BD that he was bringing DS all the way home Sunday. Guess who was an hour late? There's no way to force the other person to be a decent person and follow the rules. Good luck

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