Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

What makes you happy through this difficult time?

I had my D and C on Friday and have been out of commission and feeling sad since then. Actually, I have been feeling this way for weeks prior to my procedure since I was always told this pregnancy likely wasn't viable.

Anyway, today is my puppy's 1st birthday and I woke up with a burst of energy and happiness. I wrapped her presents and made her cookies. We are having my inlaws parents and grandmother over later today for a birthday BBQ. Yep, we are a little crazy with our pets and treat them like our kids since we don't have any yet.

Today is a good day. Hoping for more days like these.

What makes you happy?

BFP 06/05/2013 | EDD 02/10/2014 | D&C 07/12/2013

Re: What makes you happy through this difficult time?

  • Mostly it is my family and friends who have made me happy through this difficult time, especially my husband. He has been a lifesaver. Always up to talk and let me grieve my way even though I know he is more quiet than me and isn't always the talking type. My pets also make me happy, as does my job. I'm a registered nurse and work in a ED which keeps me busy. I recently decided its time to go back to school to get my FNP. I feel like goals are something that keep my focus and help me realize i cant be moppy forever, even if ill always been sad about it and always have my angel baby in my heart.

    What a great question! Thanks for posting!!

    Married my best friend 4/19/2013

    BFP #1: April 12 2013 w/ EDD Dec 23, 2013, MC May 31, 2013

    BFP #2: August 30 2013 w/ EDD May 20, 2014, MC Sept 27,2013

    We will always miss you Angel babies Rue and Seahorse! Until we meet again

    photo december1_thumb.jpgimagephoto mayloss_thumb.jpg

    BFP #3: November 25, 2013 w/ EDD July 31,2014. Yay shes here!!


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  • First, sending T&P to you for your loss. Sorry you have to be on this board with us. =[

     On a more positive not, that's totally cute!! =]  My family is the same way with our pets, too. They may not be blood or our species, but they are family none the less.

     It's little things that keep me going, like walks with my husband and random check-ins from my family members, especially my big bro who normally isn't very emotional. I also participate in Relay for Life, and our event was this weekend. It was a great distraction to jump into a project and prepare for that, and keep my mind off of things. 

  • TiaremTiarem
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    member

    Your positive attitude is so encouraging! Good for you, so quickly. I was the same way. The ups and downs will surprise you, but don't let them break your spirit you are putting forth now. 

     

    I am loving cooking again. When I was pregnant, smells really bothered me, so I hardly cooked at all I was so nauseous. I have made lots of delicious vegetarian recipes full of nutrients. (my husband is a meat and potatoes guy, so I make meals I like to take to work for the week.) it also makes me feel good, like I am getting as healthy as I can before we try again. 

  • We set a wedding date that's just 3.5 months away.  I'm now focusing that energy there.  I just hope when the wedding is over it doesn't all come back to me.
  • Ditto PP. your positive attitude is great.

    I've been trying to focus on all of the amazing support we've received. As horrible as this last week and a half has been, it has been great to be reminded of how great my friends and coworkers are.

    Also, we are looking forward to a weekend in NYC in steptember and a long weekend in Vegas in November both after work meetings.

    image

    Pregnancy Ticker

    BFP 5/19/2013. MC 7/2/2013 (9w6d) with est. loss at 8w. Miso 7/3/2013 and emergency D & C 7/6/2013.

    BFP#2 11/6/2013.  CP 11/14/2013.  

    BFP #3 12/13/2013.  Beta #1 @ 15dpo- 239. Progesterone 27.  Beta #2 @17dpo - 90.  CP 12/21/2013

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  -Philippians 4:6-7

    All PgAL and PAL welcome.

  • My family has been awesome through this.  They have called and checked on me, but not been too overbearing.  My DH has also done his best to keep my spirits up.  I have tried to just focus on the positives through this.  This is my third loss and the only one I have not had to have a D&C for, which is a major positive for me.

    I really have gotten through just focusing on the positives.  I've also enjoyed the down time.  We are always pretty busy, so I don't get a lot of down time.  It's been nice to just relax, catch up on my DVR and reading. 

    Sorry you are going through this.  Try to stay strong!


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  • It's also been three days since my Angel met heaven. What helps me are things I would have never expected to make me feel better. I find that the more people I tell my story to, the easier it becomes and the less alone I feel. Before having this experience, I had no idea what a m/c entailed. I had a natural m/c and I had no idea what happens to you physically. That part was really hard for me. Also, I instinctively knew, as a woman, it is emotionally hard, but just how hard, I didn't know until I was living it myself. So, I tell my story more as an educational experience for those listening, than anything else.

    Since we were due in February, I looked up the birth stone of that month. It turns out it is amethyst. So, we have decided to plant a lilac bush (with purple flowers) in the yard. I am very excited for that. And it's perfect that it will bloom in spring, right around my due date each year.

    The last thing that has been helping me is the oddest. My  best friend had her first child the day before I lost the baby (but knew it was coming). I went to meet her yesterday after waiting 2 days to process. Seeing her with the baby was an amazing experience. I found that my love for her and her new child was far greater than I had realized. I didn't feel jealousy, or anger, or sadness the entire time I was there. I was surprised, to say the least, but it showed me just how strong I am and how it really is going to be okay. I am surrounded by love in many forms and I am one very lucky lady.

  • I have only told a few people, my husband and a few friends - my parents don't even know!  What really helps me is focusing on other things.  I added a new workout class to my schedule and I signed up for a sprint triathlon (I'm a runner - so swimming and biking are new to me).  Anyway, it's the goals I get to focus on now and they will keep me busy until we can start trying again!
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  • Wine, lots of wine :)
  • Awww, I'm glad that you had a good day. This was a nice thread to read in these times.

    My husband. I keep remembering how much he takes care of me- all the time, but especially now. My cat is crazy and cute, and my puppy is adorable. 

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