Parenting

Moms of 2 of the same

DH and I were talking about this today - if you have two children of the same sex, will you expect that they share one of an item they both like?  So say you have two boys that love super heroes and Christmas rolls around - do you buy them each a Hulk or whatever or buy one?  I grew up with a brother so this didn't come up but DH has two brothers and they were each given their own "x" at Christmas.  

We have a playroom that, through the generosity of family and some generous hand me downs is stocked to the freaking ceiling so I was already thinking about what the heck I would ever buy DS2 unless he develops a love for something his big brother doesn't love.  Right now it's filled with general toddler stuff plus the Cars and superhero stuff Aiden has fallen in love with.

Formerly known as elmoali :)

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Re: Moms of 2 of the same

  • Well I have two brothers but we all liked much of the same stuff growing up (I am only actually close in age to one... The other is 12 years younger so it is moot there). 

    I think for certain, smaller ticker items (super hero figurines) I might expect them to share. Like we won't need 2 of everything around the house. But for big things, like bikes and roller skates and whatnot, they will have their own. I guess I envision them riding bikes together or playing catch and all that. 

    We will be in a similar situation with number two. We already have so much crap around this house and I can't imagine buying more stuff for number two.  I think a lot of the small everyday stuff needs to get shared.  

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  • image HilarityEnsued:
    Well I have two brothers but we all liked much of the same stuff growing up I am only actually close in age to one... The other is 12 years younger so it is moot there.nbsp;I think for certain, smaller ticker items super hero figurines I might expect them to share. Like we won't need 2 of everything around the house. But for big things, like bikes and roller skates and whatnot, they will have their own. I guess I envision them riding bikes together or playing catch and all that.nbsp;We will be in a similar situation with number two. We already have so much crap around this house and I can't imagine buying more stuff for number two. nbsp;I think a lot of the small everyday stuff needs to get shared. nbsp;

    Good point on big stuff and I agree that they'd have their own.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • I have a 2.5 yr old girl and a baby girl on the way. LO has sooo many toys. I plan on not buying many more and having them share. When Christmas comes, I would imagine for awhile they'd have didn't likes. But once LO2 gets out of the baby stage and they both want the same doll, I think I will get them each their own. Just to save sanity.

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  • Before I had two girls, I thought they could share. But that's not reality. They share some things but we have found that life is easier when they have their own sets.

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  • I have two boys, two years apart. They share a lot of stuff, and have some of their own. As the previous poster said they have their own "big" things, bikes etc.Also things like that are size specific they have their own (hockey sticks, roller blades etc).  However, for some of those items the youngest will eventually get the older ones hand me downs. I like to let my younger son pick certain things for himself, like a new bike rather then always get hand me downs.  But things like roller blades that don't get worn too often and are in great condition I will pass on.  

    The small things it varies.  Some things i'll buy two of b/c they would have more fun if they each have one, so they can play together with them. Or if I think its going to be a really hot item i'll buy two. Oftentimes my boys are interested in a similar subject but not the exact same thing.  For instance my oldest loved superman my youngest batman, so we bought them each their own.  However, my boys share everything!  It helps that they are best friends and don't mind sharing but its just always been what is done at our house. (they each have their own bedroom and even choose to sleep in one together, they are just really close).   Every toy that comes into this house is for both of them, and when they get birthday money etc they often ask to pool their money for one bigger item to share. As they get older they have a few things that are theirs alone (sports card collections for instance).   Other collections that started as for them alone (hockey jersey collection) they choose to share so they have twice as many to wear during practices etc.

     We have had trouble with my youngest at times, especially when he was really young trying to find him gifts since we already had so much for my older son that was passed down.  I wanted to make sure he got new things, especially for birthdays and holidays but also didn't just want to waste money buying something when we already had a similar item or just buying something to buy something per say.  It was a challenge, but we always came up with something!  

  • I don't think expecting them to share a truck or something is realistic. With that being said, a very large item would be the exception. Either way, I do not buy a whole lot at Christmas anyway.
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  • All 3 of our kids share.  Special, very important things are to be put someplace private if they would like them to remain special and very important.  If it's out and about, it's anyone's toy. 
  • image Mackalien13:
    Before I had two girls, I thought they could share. But that's not reality. They share some things but we have found that life is easier when they have their own sets.

    This, my oldest started to become possessive of her dolls so for Christmas dd2 got her own. I do expect some sharing but I also think they should be allowed to have their own special things as well. If they both wanted a certain Barbie and were both asking for it for Christmas. I would buy 2. But a larger item like a play kitchen or doll house is a joint gift.
    DD#1 12/30/08 DD#2 5/3/11
  • image Luhdashuh:
    image Mackalien13:
    Before I had two girls, I thought they could share. But that's not reality. They share some things but we have found that life is easier when they have their own sets.
    This, my oldest started to become possessive of her dolls so for Christmas dd2 got her own. I do expect some sharing but I also think they should be allowed to have their own special things as well. If they both wanted a certain Barbie and were both asking for it for Christmas. I would buy 2. But a larger item like a play kitchen or doll house is a joint gift.

    I agree with all of this.  I wouldn't expect too much sharing.  Also, with my sister and I growing up, we would get something similar.  For instance, I got Strawberry Shortcake and she got Lime Chiffon.  She got Rainbow Brite and I got Patty O'Green.  I got Cheer Bear and she got Bedtime Bear. We had no problem with that because it would be odd to play together and have two of the same character. Just buying one Rainbow Brite and expecting us to share it would not have gone over well.   

    ETA:  We are still in a stage where DD2 is interested in more toddler type toys, so they haven't really started wanting the same things yet.  DD1 does play with some of her little sister's toys like her little people bus and house, but there are plenty of other things she likes more.  Eventually, we'll follow the same plan I described above. 

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  • image Mackalien13:
    Before I had two girls, I thought they could share. But that's not reality. They share some things but we have found that life is easier when they have their own sets.
    This has been our experience as well. I got so sick of refereeing fights because they always wanted the same toy so now I always buy 2. So we have 2 sets of strollers, 2 vacuums, etc. Now when DD2 was little she got mainly clothes and small baby toys. It wasn't until this past year that we needed to buy similar things.
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  • image grr_aargh:
    All 3 of our kids share.  Special, very important things are to be put someplace private if they would like them to remain special and very important.  If it's out and about, it's anyone's toy. 


    Well, we currently have a DS and DD, but LO3 will change that. But ITA with this.

    Anything that's out in a common area is fair game. And I don't do two of things. (Well, we have more than one doll, many trucks, etc...but no two of the exact same thing). I hate having too much stuff. And we have a huge house (it used to be a barn), but two of anything seems like overkill to us.

    So they can learn to share or take turns. Or not have the toy at all. 

    It's working for us for now. 
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  • I had 2 sisters growing up and we shared some things (puzzles, Legos, Barbie house, Lite Brite, Lincoln Logs) and had individual, yet different, "special toys". Like, we'd all get a Cabbage Patch doll but they'd be different girls.
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  • When we took care of my nephew I found out that it was wiser to make sure they each had their own set. It really didn't matter if they were the same color or not because they were going to fight either way, but at least with 2 they each had one. 

    For now I was letting my youngest play with DS1s toys but DS1 is suddenly very in love with every single one of his toys, especially the one DS2 is choosing to gnaw on. Joy  

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  • My girls are 21 months apart and honestly, it depends on what the item is.  They both have AG dolls - different dolls that they got to pick out but anything for it like the clothes, they share.  They each have the Target version chair for their dolls.  When they have gotten Barbie dolls, we get them each a doll but not the same one.  The rule in our house is that any toy that you don't want to share has to stay in your room but anything that is in the playroom is fair game for anyone to use.  DH and I do have a say at this age (5 and 7 years) on what is kept in their room vs playroom and as they get older, I know this will all change.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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