Baby Showers

Not sure what to do...(sorry, long)

A friend of mine wants to do a Sip & See for me and my baby, which is really sweet of her.  It's supposed to be a really small event (maybe 8 women) but she's considering it like a shower.  Most of the women in the group who would be coming have already given me a gift and I really don't want them to feel like they have to bring another!  To me that's just so awkward.  Most (as in all but one or two) of the women have already met LO too.  The host has had a lot going on lately so I was really hoping she'd forgotten about it all as it hadn't been mentioned in months, but the other day she mentioned it to me again and asked if there was anything on the registry we hadn't gotten that we would like to have.  I told her we'd already gotten pretty much everything we needed.  She asked again so I awkwardly confessed there was a swing we'd been talking about getting but hadn't yet, but that it was a pretty big ticket item.  She said maybe everyone could get gift cards then to go towards the swing and I said, "yeah, sure, I guess that could work" not knowing what else to say.  In thinking through it afterwards, I really don't like that idea, because then it'll be more obvious if some of the women don't bring a card or something and I don't want them to feel weird by any means.  I think all the women who would be invited know my friend is wanting to plan this, and I've specifically told those who have brought it up, who have also brought me gifts that I really don't expect, nor do I want them to feel they need to bring a gift for this if it happens, because they've already done so much!  I really don't want them to feel they have to go in on this swing idea. 

Also, we had a spurt of really bad nights with LO, broke down, and bought that swing.  So now there's no swing for the gift cards to go towards if they did bring them!  Should I tell the host we got the swing, and if so, how?  And is there any way to do this without it being weird?  And could I suggest a Sip & See without gifts, or if she really felt the need to suggest people bring something, to maybe bring frozen dinners I can easily pull out and cook (I know, that's still a gift, but it feels slightly less gift grabby and more compromising to me)?  I don't know if this woman knows several of the other ladies have already given me gifts either.  I know at least one of them went ahead and gave me a gift because she said she didn't know if this Sip & See was going to happen. 

Am I putting too much stress into this and need to just not worry about it so much?



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Re: Not sure what to do...(sorry, long)

  • Sip & Sees/Meet the Baby parties aren't traditionally gift giving events. In your shoes, I would tell your friend that you really appreciate that she wants to have a party to celebrate your LO, but you truly have everything you need and do not want any gifts. Put your foot down about it, and if she seems intent on making it a gift giving event and that makes you uncomfortable, I would decline the party altogether.

    If she can get on board with the no gifts party, then sit back and enjoy visiting with your friends! And, if you do go forward with it, don't put any mention of gifts on the invite, even to say "no gifts." Some of them may bring something small anyway (for MTB parties I usually bring some diapers or something small and cute), and if they do just thank them and put it aside to open later. :)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • I would explain again to your friend that a sip and see is not a gift giving event and that you really have everything you need and that you are just very uncomfortable having people who already purchased you a gift asked to get another one. 

    If you do receive gifts put them off to the side and open them in private after the party. No mention of gifts at all on the invitation though I think this whole party is very bizarre considering everyone for the most part has already met the baby. To be honest, I'd just tell you friend that you weren't comfortable with anything anymore. What's the point of a meet the baby party if everyone has met the baby?

    And for the love of god do not ask for freezer meals.Some people can't/do not like to cook and it takes a lot of time.
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  • Thanks for the advice!  I'll definitely not bring up the freezer meals and if she mentions the party again I may try and wiggle out of it!


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  • jencnhjencnh
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary
    member
    I think that since the whole planning of this event is taking so long and it seems like you've long since received gifts and visit from people it would be weird to do at this point. If your friend really wants to do something, why don't you just suggest a "girls" luncheon. Just something where everyone gets together for a nice lunch. This would not give the feel that gifts should be brought. If some are given, as PP's said, just set them aside to open later.
  • Estwd2Estwd2
    5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    member
    I actually stopped reading when you said that almost all the guests had already met the baby. Whatever issue you're having, there's your answer. Decline this party. IMO, it would seem like a gift grab.
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  • I really dislike being "guided" on what to bring. Be it books, diapers, meals, gift cards. I am a big girl. I can figure out what I want to bring you.

    With that said, if it is too late, use the gcs toward something else and write very nice TY notes. Have fun and try to enjoy yourself and not stress. These bad nights will pass soon!!
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