October 2013 Moms

Shower drama

Ugh!!! So my SIL and MIL have decided that they want to throw a shower. So sweet right? Well, the one thing I asked was that it not be too close to my EDD. I am a FTM and i have no idea if this little girl will be early, on time, or late. My SIL calls today and says that they picked a day. Turns out is a little less than 2 weeks before my EDD. I'm just not confortable with this. I want to enjoy my shower and not be miserable, go into labor, or not show up because I just had a baby. So frustrated!!

Re: Shower drama

  • Mine is scheduled 2 weeks before my due date too. I feel the same but I'm trying to figure it all out and enjoy it the best I can since I am grateful for it. But I agree it is frustrating.

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  • You have no control over the situation either way.  If your LO comes early, everyone can meet her at the shower.  If she's late, then NBD.
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  • I had my shower for DS about a week and a half before my DD. It was fine, honestly you sit, eat, open gifts and socialize. Some people do games but its really not a strenuous event.

    As far as the baby coming early, I had friend whose baby came 2 weeks before her shower that was a full month before her DD. He was in the NICU so she came mingled, opened presents, ate and shared pics of the baby. She did leave early to get back to him but it wasn't a huge deal.

    I've also been to a shower where the MTB water broke. I'm sure she was a little embarrassed but she said her goodbyes and left. Her family packed up the gifts and brought them to her house for her and people went home.

    If you really don't feel comfortable with the time frame you can politely decline the shower and state why. Something along the lines of "MIL, SIL I am so greatful that you guys are willing to do this for me but I'm just really nervous about it being that close to my due date". They may offer to do it earlier they may not. Ultimately if they won't budge on the date and you REALLY don't feel comfortable with it that close to your DD just decline the shower.
  • I agree with pp. 2 weeks really wouldn't give me any heartburn because baby showers are pretty much as stress free as any event can be. But then again, I worked full time past my due date last time, so I don't think baby showers are any more stressful than working a full day!

    You asked them for a date as early as possible. They presented this date. If you are still concerned, you can graciously decline with no hard feelings!
  • I would have a very hard time with this! What if she comes early and you don't have everything you Need?? I couldn't do it. You have a shower for a reason, you need things that in total are probably over 5k when you add it all up. If you don't have the things you need like a car seat to bring baby home in, and you don't get it at your shower you go get it yourself!

    I would politely ask if the day could be moved up? Or they can
    Make it a sip and see post baby but you have to be able to have the nursery completely set up
    Before going into labor and 2 weeks before is cutting it too close! Make something up like the dr that your measuring big and baby is expected to come early. You don't want to risk it!

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  • anskipanskip
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    I have asked if they can look at their calendars again so we could possibly move it up. Things haven't always been great with that side of the family and I know there would be lots of hurt feelings and pent up anger if I politely declined. It really has been nothing but drama with them since my DH and I have been together. I'm sure it will all work out. I just needed a place to vent!!
  • Is this your only shower?
  • has615has615
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    It could be an awesome story if your water breaks at the shower
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  • anskipanskip
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    image has615:
    It could be an awesome story if your water breaks at the shower


    Haha!! So true!! My MIL would freak out!! She's one of those neat freak people.....like a little OCD about it. So it would be an entertaining one!!
  • anskipanskip
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    Update: Just got off the phone with my SIL and they moved the date back another 2 weeks. So, hopefully that should be good.
  • image anskip:
    Update: Just got off the phone with my SIL and they moved the date back another 2 weeks. So, hopefully that should be good.


    Good. I don't understand why this is an issue for people to say "Oh, bummer! That doesn't work for me, can we do it earlier?"
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  • 4 weeks is fine. I'd be nervous about 2 weeks before my EDD. DS came exactly 2 weeks early and he is my first.

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  • Yeah, we just had some drama with people who didn't get invited by accident (hey, I have been busy here, and no one offered to help with addresses).  Jeez.

    Sorry you are having the dramaz too.

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  • image mominwaiting29:
    I would have a very hard time with this! What if she comes early and you don't have everything you Need?? I couldn't do it. You have a shower for a reason, you need things that in total are probably over 5k when you add it all up. If you don't have the things you need like a car seat to bring baby home in, and you don't get it at your shower you go get it yourself! I would politely ask if the day could be moved up? Or they can Make it a sip and see post baby but you have to be able to have the nursery completely set up Before going into labor and 2 weeks before is cutting it too close! Make something up like the dr that your measuring big and baby is expected to come early. You don't want to risk it!

     

    I think everyone should just be grateful people are getting together to have a party and give them a bunch of presents. I wouldn't care if someone wanted to throw me a shower on my actual due date. I am a FTM, just moved to a state where I don't know anyone and I am not going to have a shower.  My sympathy is limited.


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  • image anskip:
    Update: Just got off the phone with my SIL and they moved the date back another 2 weeks. So, hopefully that should be good.

    That's good, glad that works out for you.

    We are having 2 showers and they are about 4-6 weeks before my EDD.  My SIL is hosting one and she brought up the point about what if he comes early and how it would benefit us to kind of see what else we need to buy after the shower.

    On a side note, my Grandmom seemed a little hurt that we bought his bedding because it hadn't been in stock for about a week a we were worried it may be discontinued.  She said,  "well y'all don't go buying everything because the family wants to help out".

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  • image mominwaiting29:
    I would have a very hard time with this! What if she comes early and you don't have everything you Need?? I couldn't do it. You have a shower for a reason, you need things that in total are probably over 5k when you add it all up. If you don't have the things you need like a car seat to bring baby home in, and you don't get it at your shower you go get it yourself!

    Um, what? You should not count on the shower to get all the things you need - you should be buying them yourself, and if you are spending 5k on baby equipment, you are shopping in the wrong stores.

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