Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Post DNC Dr visit

Apparently, I have been traded from one Dr in the practice to another. Luckily, my new Dr seems very supportive and has more time, as she is new with the group. My old Dr is the best in the county, but the whole group is supposed to be top notch. Anyway, turns out I still have a small bleed, which explains me still passing blood cloths now 3 wks post DNC. Dr is not worried because, they are not huge. The lab results game back normal, so we have no explanation as to why we lost the 2nd twin. I am on the mini pill now until December. My Dr, DH, and I all agreed that after 2 back-to-back DNC my body needed longer to heal and relax. 

I have been thinking, after seeing DH go through the loss of our 3 Angel babies. I may not tell DH if I get pregnant next year. I was thinking that I would just wait until my confirmation apt to make sure everything is ok. WWYD? TIA.  

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Re: Post DNC Dr visit

  • I think that if you were to get pregnant and not tell him and then you miscarry (praying that does not happen), he would be upset.  Also, you will need emotional support from him.  I know you are trying to protect him, but I think your DH's feelings would be hurt if he was to find out you kept it from him.  Then, he would be dealing with the loss and you being less than truthful.

    Look at it this way, chances are your DH will be around for future OBGYN appointments should you get pregnant.  What if that loss comes up?  Even if it is by your OBGYN and on accident?  Would you want to find out something like that through someone else?  Also, what if you two are out and something happens to you or you start having complications, etc?  Then you kind of have to tell him and he wouldn't like to find out that way.

    At any rate, it is your decision.  While I understand you mean well, I would not personally do it.   Good luck to you.  Sorry you are going through any of this.

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  • MrsDeoMrsDeo
    Long-Lasting Membership 250 Answers 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    I'm so sorry for your losses. This is such a tough place to be. Obviously it's up to you in the end, but I wouldn't hold that info from my husband. I can't imagine going through our losses without his support. I completely understand where you're coming from in not wanting to hurt him, but these are his babies too and I think he should know about them the same as you do. Those are the reasons I will keep telling MH if I get pregnant.


    2 previous losses; MH & I are both CDG-1a carriers
    Juliet arrived August 18, 2014

  • Thank you ladies. I probably wouldn't be able to keep it from him for more than a day or two anyway. We tell each other everything. I was just trying to protect him and I ya'll made some very good points. 
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I contemplated not telling DH next time (if there is a next time) as well but quickly decided I wouldn't be able to handle going through this again without his support... Of course it's your decision though. Sending prayers up for you! 
  • I agree with a PP. I contemplated the thought of keeping it to myself either, but there is no way I could go through this right now without DH. I know if it were to happen again I would need his support. He is my rock. 


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  • I didn't tell DH the first time. I wanted to wait till a doctor confirmation (someone he was very close told him she had an accidental pregnancy then abortion and both pieces of news hit him deeply.) But then I lost it. So I had to tell him I had it and lost it. That was not great. I do not recommend it. He was upset that I kept it from him. He made a great point- the baby wasn't only mine. A father deserves to know what's going on with his child, even if it hasn't been born yet. I agree.

    That wasn't the bad part though- it was that I had gone through the joy and expectation of having a child then having it torn away from me. All alone. No one knew at all until it was all over with. So he was at a completely different place since it never hit him that he had a child to lose for a long, long time. He only found out a week after, I told a couple close friends soon after that, but we didn't tell family until 3 years later. This time I told my friends and family immediately. I'm so glad. It's good to have some support.

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