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Your "circle", your kids & food, are you on the same page?

Mobiles: Your "circle", your kids & food, are you on the same page?

All this talk about healthy foods makes me wonder: Are you and your circle of friends and family on the same page about food for your LO's? Do you ever have to prevent people from giving them things you don't want them to have?  

Are you more lenient when it's family or friends that they don't see often vs the ones they are with a lot?  


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Forever blessed through adoption! 7-17-11
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Re: Your "circle", your kids & food, are you on the same page?

  • Everyone jokes that I'm the "food nazi" with Hadley (I know that's not the nicest term) and I swear it gets so freaking old. I really try to keep my objections minimal so I don't look crazy or that I'm trying to micromanage things, I hate being like that, but honestly I have to put my foot down all the time. 

    Yesterday for example my BF came over and had a pink lemonade icee drink and let Hadley have a sip, I didn't see this before it happened. Hadley loved it and looked over at me to see if I was going to let her have it (she's smart, haha) and I told BF she couldn't have it. She let her have another drink and I got much more stern and said "she's not allowed to have that, it's probably full of sugar" and she said "it's mostly ice, let her have some". I hate being the one that's always denying them giving her stuff, but I said no more and meant it. I googled it and honest to God it had 67 grams of sugar!! and 68 grams of carbs in it's 16 ounces!!! I was livid and showed her the computer and told her that was exactly why I had to be so careful with what I let her have. 

    H's parents, BF, my parents, H... I'm constantly denying her stuff they're offering her. I feel like she's going to get to the point that she'll feel the need to hide from me if she wants something, it stinks.

     


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    Forever blessed through adoption! 7-17-11
  • My friends and I are mostly on the same page. Ella is the oldest of the three babies in my group so it's kinda hard to tell right now. i try to get healthy and better options. She has had french fries. I buy veggie chicken nuggets for lunches and try to give her greek yogurt and fruits.

    my family is a totally different story. They try to give her ice cream and cookies and crap like that all the time. They think it's weird that I eat the multicolored pasta and always make faces when she's eating her veggies and wheat bread.  

    Ella the Mermaid 06/13/12 Sea Monster 09/15/14
    I couldn't pick just one fairy tale, guys. 
    apesig
    ...

  • A couple of my mom friends are uber healthy. Like I can't pronounce some of the things they give their kids. I have one super picky friend that's quickly passing he own idiosyncracies onto her 18 month old, and myself and another mom are more on the healthy side of average, but I'd give DS a bite of a cupcake at a birthday party. I'm not a zealot, but I like him to eat healthy and clean and model that.

    My mom is a lost cause of healthy foods so I'm pretty stern on what she cannot give DS. MIL is pretty good with healthy foods, but every once in a while she surprises me. This past weekend she bought DS cheesies because the package said "real cheddar" and "no trans fat." Like that somehow negated the fact that they were freaking cheesies. Anyway, that's not a regular occurance so I let him eat the two cheesies he wanted and didn't say anything.

    But yes, I'm fairly strict with people that offer DS their chips or cookies or whatever. I just think he has lots of time to eat crap if he chooses. But while he can't I'd like him to eat as well as possible.
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  • I really became aware of food politics when I was pg with DS1. It was easy for us to get locally sourced (cheap) food where we were, I was watching what I was eating bc I was pg, etc. And I never really ate a ton of processed stuff on a regular basis anyway. My family is the same, to varying degrees, though my friends who have kids aren't, depending on the person. 

    My sister found Gary Taubes (he of low-carb eating fame) a few years back, and I started going down the path of less carbs. My kids do eat carbs, though I try my best to offer them lots of protein and fat (DS1 is a carb nut, though DS2 isn't), and at home I do limit them (but insanely so - they snack on pretzels and crackers and eat tons of fruit).

    They get sugar and "special treats" on occasion, and I don't not let them have a cookie or something when we're at a party or grandparents' houses.  

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • image Hav=Fath:

    Everyone jokes that I'm the "food nazi" with Hadley (I know that's not the nicest term) and I swear it gets so freaking old. I really try to keep my objections minimal so I don't look crazy or that I'm trying to micromanage things, I hate being like that, but honestly I have to put my foot down all the time. 

     

    This is me. It gets so old. My IL's and my family (and now DH occasionally) think it is so awful I make DS1 drink water 90% of the time. My IL's literally think I am mistreating him because you "have to have" something to drink with a meal and I only let him have water. I have given up the battle because we eat over there so much. He has a small glass of decaf sweet tea when we eat over there.

    They will then turn around and say kids should eat healthy but everything in moderation. SIL's bday party was last night and he had ice cream cake, then a dilly bar in among 3 juices. Sigh. I was busy with the baby and people were just giving him whatever they asked for. 

    It is all so frustrating. 

    BFP 11/29/11 MC 12/29/11
  • image Mermaids&Magic:

    My friends and I are mostly on the same page. Ella is the oldest of the three babies in my group so it's kinda hard to tell right now. i try to get healthy and better options. She has had french fries. I buy veggie chicken nuggets for lunches and try to give her greek yogurt and fruits.

    my family is a totally different story. They try to give her ice cream and cookies and crap like that all the time. They think it's weird that I eat the multicolored pasta and always make faces when she's eating her veggies and wheat bread.  

    I think the thing with mine & H's families, they are very proud about how healthy I make sure Hadley eats and actually brag all the time about what a healthy eater she is, but they feel like since she eats healthy so much of the time a icee, sucker or cookie isn't going to hurt her.

    The other night I made slutty brownies for my in-laws and neighbors (cookie dough, oreos and brownies baked together). Hadley had a plate of cut up grapes and was happy as a clam, I even had them eating their brownie concoctions at the bar so she didn't see what they had. I come in the room and BF is feeding her the brownies at the table, I was LIVID and hollered at her in front of H & his parents. It was freaking bedtime and she knows how I feel about it. Gosh it still makes me mad, she was happy eating grapes! 


    image


    Forever blessed through adoption! 7-17-11
  • When we're at home, we eat very healthy. No juice, processed stuff, sugary snacks, etc. Almost everything is homemade (though we do enjoy the occasional pouch, heh heh). However, this isn't just for DD's sake - it's how DH and I enjoy eating, and we really value the health benefits from it. My inlaws are exactly the same, and my parents are much more lenient food-wise. In my circle of friends, there's a huge range of eaters.... in one family, I've never seen the kids eat anything other than hot dogs and chips... and others are extremely food conscience... and the rest are somewhere in between. 

    When DD is with someone else, or is offered food while I'm with her, I've never refused. She's had a donut this way... some chips, a swig or two of lemonade, ice cream, etc, etc. The only thing I think I'd step in and intervene with if offered is soda or candy. Otherwise, meh. 

    Married October 9th, 2010. DD born March 11th, 2012. Baby Joy #2, EDD April 28th '14!!! 
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  • Since we're so new to food, it's hard to be certain but I seem to be pretty middle of the pack. Around here, kids healthier treats. No one would offer a kid a cupcake or candy without parental permission. People tend to offer to share snacks though. 

    I think I'm pretty laid back in general and will allow her to try lots of things but I buy her healthy foods. We did BLW because she never like purees, so she's been eating chili, curries, and stir fry, for months now. Lots of moms are very careful about tiny pieces and spoon feeding or giving one puff at a time. I watch her like a hawk but let her try it on her own a lot. 

    imageimageimage

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  • At home, I probably feed my kids more healthily than most of my friends.  We do a veggie CSA and a grassfed, organic meat CSA, whole grains, local dairy, etc etc.  My kids eat and have always eaten what I make for the family dinner.  I don't and never have cooked "kid food" for them.  The is probably on the "food nut" end of where most of my friends are at, but I honestly don't know for sure because we don't really talk about it and I don't really care how they choose to feed their kids.

    That said, when my kids are at school, birthday parties, playdates, etc, they are allowed to have what is being served.  At preschool, that meant 17 cupcakes a year.  Pizza, cake and juice for every friend birthday party.  I never worry about it, and it never affects what they are willing to eat at home.  

    My family eats pretty healthily, but they will have treats on hand to give the kids that they'd otherwise not buy or make.   I let the kids have them when we are visiting.  It's stuff like good ice cream or homemade cookies, not fake sweetner or chemicals, so it's NBD.  My inlaws are less healthy eaters, and we all just kind of suck it up and eat what is being served for the couple times of year we see them.  

    On balance, I'm comfortable with the kids' diet.  Being healthy at home means I don't stress when we're not. 

    ETA: It was a *lot* easier to control my kids diet when they were littler.  Now that they are 6 and 4, they are out in a bunch of social situations where less than ideal food is being served.  I have relaxed a TON about food since my first child's toddlerhood.   

     

  • We are in the middle--especially when we go out to eat.

    I think a lot of my daughter's food allergies are part of it--and an egg allergy, combined with sesame and nuts sometimes means the only thing on a menu that is safe is pizza (maybe! some dough has egg in it), hot dog (w/o a bun) or a quesadilla.

    However when we are home we do a lot of fruits/veggies/home made ice pops for snacks.

    She rarely has any bakery items--unless I make it egg free. (so no cookies, cake, etc)  

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  • image joyfullyfound:

    When we're at home, we eat very healthy. No juice, processed stuff, sugary snacks, etc. Almost everything is homemade (though we do enjoy the occasional pouch, heh heh). However, this isn't just for DD's sake - it's how DH and I enjoy eating, and we really value the health benefits from it. My inlaws are exactly the same, and my parents are much more lenient food-wise. In my circle of friends, there's a huge range of eaters.... in one family, I've never seen the kids eat anything other than hot dogs and chips... and others are extremely food conscience... and the rest are somewhere in between. 

    When DD is with someone else, or is offered food while I'm with her, I've never refused. She's had a donut this way... some chips, a swig or two of lemonade, ice cream, etc, etc. The only thing I think I'd step in and intervene with if offered is soda or candy. Otherwise, meh. 

    I would love to be able to be this laid back about it because I truly don't believe it's going to be the end of the world, but it's so often for us. We have people stop by the house all the time, she's with the in-laws one day per week, heck even the old man that sits behind us in church brings her candy each week... what 1 year old needs M&M's at 10:30 am? 


    image


    Forever blessed through adoption! 7-17-11
  • I rarely have to stop people from giving my kids things because I'm not very strict with others. I figure if I give them healthy foods as a foundation, there's not much other people can give them to really dramatically alter their diets. I don't allow MSG or artificial sweeteners, period, so I have to draw the line at those. I know sometimes even then I'm considered a hard a$$. I remember watching my SIL give our 18 month old nephew some of her diet coke and thinking no way, no how for my kids.

    My family lives closer, but they're on the same page as us, so it's not much of an issue. They give the kids too much sugar, but it's in whole foods my mom's baking and I don't sweat it.  Our biggest source of junk is the baking brought to share with the class at Owen's school - all food colouring and cake mixes and icing from a can and artificial flavours. But I suck it up. I firmly believe in not making my kids feel singled out and different, because feeling deprived won't help them choose a mostly healthy lifestyle themselves. I try hard to make DS1's lunches really fun without resorting to unhealthy foods and it seems to work - he's thrilled for now with cookie cutter sandwiches while his friends eat Doritos.

    I think our circle is varied. We own a natural food store and I've gotten to know lots of people with young kids who are customers, so they're very much on the same page. On the other hand, I have lots of friends who eat a lot of fast food and never take into consideration the things we do (nitrates, chemicals, GMOs, whole grains, artificial colours, etc). It's a mixed bag.


    Owen (March 2007), Caleb (July 2009), Eliza (July 2011) and August (September 2013)




  • So my friends (I honestly have a limited number of mom friends, I need to make more!) seem to be on the same page as me.  I try to be healthy, without being crazy about it.  Sweets/desserts are a once a week treat - if even that much.  Of course DS is only 14 months so I'm sure there are challenges ahead.  He never had chocolate or sweets before 1.  Now every once in awhile.

    As far as our family - I've been educating them as I educate myself.  It's a work in progress for all of us.  Luckily for us, our parents really want to follow what we ask and respect our choices.  They are a little more lax than I like - a few french fries here and there, mini-cupcakes - but I try my best to remember these are treats.  DS is by no means eating these daily or even weekly.

     

  • We're pretty much on the same page as family, healthier than friends. Some in my circle are just lazy and make a lot of packaged think kraft Mac and cheese or hamburger helper. Another ones kids always ALWAYS have Gatorade to drink and junk for snacks. DS usually just has water to drink and homemade stuff, but I don't go crazy about him getting crap at other people houses, it's once and a while and since we don't keep the stuff at home he doesn't know to ask for it there.
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  • My family, very much so. My friends, not always, but who cares? My friends aren't generally feeding my kids, and if it's a playdate or something, I'm not going to freak out about a Capri Sun and Pirate Booty.

  • We are all on the same page. At play dates we see fruit, some pretzels, some water and juice. No one faints. And parties...cheese, wraps, pizza, veggie trays...we all figure it out.

    I can't imagine being so worked up about food that I had to walk around a party and see what my 5 year old was eating. She eats dinner at the cookout? Great. She has an extra cookie by the bouncy house? Fine. I can't imagine stressing.  

    Mom to Big Sister (2008) , and boy/girl twins (2010) Life is busy!
  • I'm probably just over the middle towards food nazi in my circle- I do much fewer processed snacks, but we all do pretty healthy over all. With family, I am the total health nut. My in-laws roll their eyes, but I really don't care. We see them pretty frequently and there are some things I won't be flexible about- soda or lots of juice, etc.
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  • KateMWKateMW
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    My good friends seem to be on a similar page, I definitely know people who are more strict and much less strict. My mom will let her have anything she wants 24hrs a day. LOL My FIL and his wife cook very healthy, so any time she's over there it's quinoa and veggies...she prefers to eat at home. :)

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  • I definitely have some friends who think we are crazy, and some or are more like us.

    I AM chill about some things though!  Like, I never take lunch places.  If we are at the zoo or musuem or ballpark, I just try to make the best choice I can in that place. 

    Baby Numbers 11.8.10 The Sequel on or around 10.13.12
  • image Hav=Fath:
    image joyfullyfound:

    When we're at home, we eat very healthy. No juice, processed stuff, sugary snacks, etc. Almost everything is homemade (though we do enjoy the occasional pouch, heh heh). However, this isn't just for DD's sake - it's how DH and I enjoy eating, and we really value the health benefits from it. My inlaws are exactly the same, and my parents are much more lenient food-wise. In my circle of friends, there's a huge range of eaters.... in one family, I've never seen the kids eat anything other than hot dogs and chips... and others are extremely food conscience... and the rest are somewhere in between. 

    When DD is with someone else, or is offered food while I'm with her, I've never refused. She's had a donut this way... some chips, a swig or two of lemonade, ice cream, etc, etc. The only thing I think I'd step in and intervene with if offered is soda or candy. Otherwise, meh. 

    I would love to be able to be this laid back about it because I truly don't believe it's going to be the end of the world, but it's so often for us. We have people stop by the house all the time, she's with the in-laws one day per week, heck even the old man that sits behind us in church brings her candy each week... what 1 year old needs M&M's at 10:30 am? 

    Yeah, I think you're encountering it more often than me from what you've said in the  past, which is hard. It's only happened a handful of times for us, and I'm just like, "Aw, heck, let the kid live a little" haha

    Married October 9th, 2010. DD born March 11th, 2012. Baby Joy #2, EDD April 28th '14!!! 
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  • I have some friends who let their kids eat more junk than others.  They also buy more processed foods and less organic (they don't have the extra cash).  We really have such food issues that we are never going to line up with anyone else.  DS has TOO many food allergies and I truthfully let him eat stuff I normally wouldn't just because it is safe and because the allergies freaking suck.  If he wants crackers for breakfast as long as he will put sunbutter on them, fine.  He drinks 2 cups of OJ a day for calcium...whatever.
    O 10.08 & MJ 6.10
  • kmc217kmc217
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    I am fairly middle of the road too. My kids overall eat very healthy and when we are home I limit what my DDs call "snacky snacks" and mostly give nuts, fruit, veggies and hummus, yogurt (although I do buy kids Yoplait, gasp!), whole wheat crackers. But they also get about 4oz juice daily with breakfast, ice cream weekly and if we are out or at an event they can each have a treat although I will never let them have soda and they both know to ask me before they have a second cookie, cupcake, etc. I am probably stricter than most of my friends but I have some very lenient friends. One good friends DD eats goldfish, cereal bars and strawberries, that's about it. My mom is very good about feeding them the way I do. My grandmother used to try to sneak them treats all the time until she learned I would not send them over to her alone if she continued to give them handfuls of m&ms all the time. My ILs SUCK with food-- they never eat fresh fruits or veggies, love fast food, fried food and butter-- things my kids never touch. It is always a struggle when we are there because my kids will be happily eating cereal and bananas for breakfast and MIL will be handing them 3 donuts. Ugh.

     

    DD1 7/10/08  DD2 8/11/10  DS 7/2/13

  • I think so many of these food issues are class/socioeconomic issues. I mean, most people I know, and most people on this board, are educated, UMC yuppies. The stereotypes tend to hold true. I can't picture anyone I know eating Hamburger Helper or even Olive Garden. We're more a Trader Joe's/Nobu crowd.

    ... Of course, some people on TB are almost parodies of themselves with their pearl clutching over Goldfish and PollyO string cheese. I don't know anyone THAT extreme IRL.

    Also, the "preschool teachers who think Goldfish are a healthy snack are idiots" people: Your privilege is showing.
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  • I totally would eat Olive Garden.
  • We are all pretty much on the same page. Except for my evil MIL who constantly tries to push cake, brownies, ketchup and other random crap on her. 

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  • My family thinks I'm crazy.  My friends are more on the same page.  Well, I have friends that are on the same page and others who are more in the same chapter ;)  And others who probably think I'm crazy.  

    Yes, I've prevented DS from having things before.  Usually it's not a big deal.  It's like someone offers him juice and I just give him his cup instead.  When he was quite a bit younger I definitely blocked certain foods because he didn't even know what they were or that he was missing out on something.  Now I avoid certain things if I can, but usually I can't.  It's not that big of a deal.   

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  • image letranger:
    I totally would eat Olive Garden.

    Fo sho.

    And I am a food nut.  

    Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.  And by that I mean, I need to nom on some chain Americanized Italian food.  I'm not ashamed. 

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  • KateMWKateMW
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    image Nechie122:
    I think so many of these food issues are class/socioeconomic issues. I mean, most people I know, and most people on this board, are educated, UMC yuppies. The stereotypes tend to hold true. I can't picture anyone I know eating Hamburger Helper or even Olive Garden. We're more a Trader Joe's/Nobu crowd. ... Of course, some people on TB are almost parodies of themselves with their pearl clutching over Goldfish and PollyO string cheese. I don't know anyone THAT extreme IRL. Also, the "preschool teachers who think Goldfish are a healthy snack are idiots" people: Your privilege is showing.

    Well, DD's two favorite Italian restaurants in the world are Marea and Olive Garden...think on that for a second. The same child who has toured the kitchen at Marea has a regular meal at Olive Garden too. 


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  • KateMWKateMW
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    image letranger:
    I totally would eat Olive Garden.

    Soup, salad and breadsticks got me through my fertility treatments. Anytime I felt like crap from the meds, I went and had lunch there and read my book. 


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  • So I feel like what they eat is not as important as the attitude behind what they are eating. Too much restriction, just like too little, will lead to kids growing up to want those foods that are not as good. We def give buddy ice cream, french fries, chicken nuggets, hotdogs, etc. But he gets way more broccoli, apples, milk, whole grains, etc.

    The last thing I want is my kid to feel guilt over what he is eating. And when he gets a treat he shouldn't feel bad about it.  

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