Rough week over here.
He's mad at me, I"m mad at him, in a nutshell I think we're both too sleep deprived.
But last night and this morning really has put me over the edge.
Yesterday he left for work at 9 - he had a meeting last night and got home at 10. I was alone with LO for 13 hours (obviously). She slept about 2 hours of that, broken up in small increments. From about 6:00 on she wouldn't let me put her down so I never even got to cook myself dinner.
I talked to him at 8 and asked him to bring he home something to eat. Then I talked to him around 8:45 and told him to forget it as I was super tired and going to bed. He asked me to wait up for him so I did.....Well, wouldn't you know - LO was up FOUR times last night. So I think I slept maybe 5 hours broken up. HE got up with her at 7:15 so I could get a quick nap before he left for work.....and at 7:30 he brought her back to me claiming she was hungry. He took her back 10 min later but she was wide awake and cooed so loudly that I never got back to bed. When I woke up I expressed how tired I was and how hard yesterday was and he got all pissy with me. WTF?
Honestly I can't be all roses and sunshine all the time. I love my daughter more than anything but motherhood is HARD work. I havent slept more than 5.5 hours in almost 4 months, I'm exhausted, almost all the time. I appreciate that he lets me nap in the mornings, but he doesn't understand that this is not the same as sleeping through the night. And furthermore, I think his exhaustion today is from staying up and having a couple of beers when he got home last night. Not my problem. Fine if you want to do that, but understand you may pay the price.
Oh and all of this while I am working from home, so I also have to find time in my day to answer emails and try and stay on top of requests....
My husband has been a GREAT dad. However I feel his support totally went out the window once I went back to work. I feel like he's left me high and dry. And we're fighting all the time b/c I'm not always puppies and rainbows so he gets mad at me for being negative.Work has been hel! since I came back and I'm pretty convinced I am being managed out (we got bought out two years ago and I'm the only one left standing on my team) which upsets me to no end. I bring this up to him and he again gets annoyed with me thinking I"m being dramatic and negative.
I know I'm preaching to the choir on not sleeping and long days.... and I'm not looking for any sympathy - I just needed to vent about my husband.
To add insult to injury; today is our 4 year wedding anniversary. Oh AND I got my freaking period yesterday. second time since baby, and it is ridiculously heavy....
Good times over here, Good times.
"I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th
Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!
Molly Mildred born 03/31/13
TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast
Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"
Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN
Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle
Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized
1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!