April 2013 Moms

Mother-In-Law Annoyances

Tonight the ILs visited.  I like them overall, but they irritate me sometimes.  Examples:

I put DS on his playmat so she could watch him talk and play and told her about how much he hates tummy time, so of course she put him on his tummy.  He screamed bloody murder... and she says 'well he just needs to get over it.' 

Tonight after I fed DS and started burping him she starts telling me about how breast fed babies aren't supposed to have to burp.  I just responded with 'well this one does."

Then DS was a little fussy because it was late and he was tired, so she starts talking about how he's too spoiled and used to getting his way.  

As they were leaving DS started cooing and playing again.  She said about 3 times how he hurt her feelings because he fussed when she held him and was happy when I held him.  

I know these are all minor, it just gets on my nerves!  

What are your IL annoyances? 

Re: Mother-In-Law Annoyances

  • I get along with my ILs but every now and again they will say something that gets under my skin.  

    When they came out to visit, it was about the time that T would fuss for 2 - 3 hours in the evening.  The only fix was taking him for a walk.  I loved our walks since it was still somewhat cool out.  One evening, T was fussing and MIL had put him to sleep by walking around the livingroom.  I had come out of the bedroom and said that I was going to start dinner and if he woke up, then I would take him for a walk.  They argued by asking why I would want to wake him up, and to just let him sleep for the evening.  

    I did not want him sleeping through the time that he was normally awake so that he would sleep at night, but I was not going to wake up a sleeping baby either.  They just did not listen to the words I was saying.  I ended up getting frustrated and just leaving the room to start dinner.  They did not bother my about it any of the other nights during the visit though, so I think they got the message. Honestly though, I have the best ILs and feel bad for complaining. 

     Oh a side note, I hate it when people say that the baby does not like them because he cried when they held him.  He does not know how to not like someone right now.  It is just that his needs were not being met at that moment and maybe those needs included being held by Mom and the way he vocalizes it is to cry.  I do not know why that bothers me, but it does.  Maybe since it implies some negative about my son.  I get really defensive over it. 

    -K

     

  • Jeez, where do I start?!?!?! My MIL thinks he's hungry every time he fusses. I'm pretty sure she would over feed him if I let her. She has asked to give him cereal and water already. 

    She always says he's learned something new thats beyond what hes capable of learning. He apparently knows how to play patty cake from start to finish, yet he still seems to bash himself in the face with his own hands on accident. It's pretty amazing he has such control ONLY when playing patty cake and never does it in front of me. He's 14 weeks btw. By 18 weeks he will be walking. 

     She LOVES jamming a toy in his face right when he's about to fall asleep. 

    When she's trying to calm him down she says "nnnnoooowwwww" constantly. I have no clue about that one. 

     And of course he looks like everyone on her side of the family and nothing like me or my family.  

     

    Bradley Houston - 04.01.13
  • ktr722ktr722
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
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    Love my IL's! My FIL always says what a good mom I am. My MIL really doesn't criticize. It is more my grandmother in law. She complains that I put headbands on my LO and things of that nature. Both her and my mil always have problems with me asking them to wash their hands. MIL will do it and say that she just washed them when she was home. Grandmother complains until I just give her hand sanitizer. My response to everyone with a big smile on my face is my baby, my rules!
  • I feel bad complaining about them because they really are nice and have good intentions.  It's just annoying sometimes, ya know?
  • image mariahrb:

    When she's trying to calm him down she says "nnnnoooowwwww" constantly. I have no clue about that one. 

    This cracked me up. I am sorry you have to deal with this, but I love the way you wrote the entire post.  

    -K

     

  • I like my MIL for the most part except for the fact that she spoils her grandkids sooo much that it gets frustrating. For example, we were there a few weeks ago for a wedding and stayed at their house. Our nieces were also there and asked to watch a movie at 10:45 pm and of course then my DS1 wanted to stay up, too! She then made then Kettle Corn with MMs and gave then Root Beer. My DS1 is only 3 and does not need to stay up that late or have snacks like that at that time. It was annoying because I had to deal with his crabbiness the next day!

    Also she calls poop "poopoos" and that alone makes me want to cut myself.
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  • I do't actually have a lot to complain about when it comes to the inlaws... I do have a lot to complain about with my own family.

    The worse thing MIL does is just always ask if my son is alright when he is being a butt and not sleeping and just crying. A few times a day times so many days can get to a person, especially asking it in mid crying when the hairs standing on my neck are at their peak. It's like... if he wasn't okay I am not going to hold it in... you will know. lol

    Now GIL... oh my God. She has an opinion on everything, if I say I am having a bad day because of this... well 45 years ago she had a worse day... followed by an hour long story. She has to one up anything I say, sometimes agreeing with me... but always adding more.

    Just yesterday she commented on my facebook pictures saying she is missing his 'firsts'... I was in WV when he was born, she was in the waiting room, I had to wait 2 1/2 months before seeing my family at all, they missed a lot of firsts. SIL commented too and said my family deserved to see some of his firsts just like she saw some of his. It sucks having 3000 miles separate my family with my husbands, cause I already knew this problem where one side will get jealous when he is visiting the other.

    My mom has only annoyed me by saying she will be the grandma my kid doesn't know and just generally depressing about it. Also, she plops him in front of the tv when I ask her to watch him while I take a shower.

    My aunt annoys me because she revolves everything around the tv. She comes and takes him sometimes and watches Maury or something.. She has been known to dip pacifiers in soda to let them have a taste, I caught her and told her to stop. I told her she better not let him suck on a cheeto either, which she has been known to do too. Her forgetting she had Hep C and letting my son bite her finger made me irritated.

    The whole TV situation isn't a huge deal for me, seeing as I am only going to be here visiting for two more weeks, my son doesn't go near televisions when at home, cause we only have one in our room... unlike here where there is a tv in every room. Though, my little cousins kept sticking the tablet in his face saying he is watching Bratz or something... I came home from the gym and my two little cousins who are 6 and 8 had the tablet in his face.. like within arms length watching cartoons... I kinda blew up and told them all to stop with the tv/screens in his face or I will just use the daycare at the gym (They want to watch him and spend time with him).  

     
     
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  • image mariahrb:
    Jeez, where do I start?!?!?! My MIL thinks he's hungry every time he fusses. I'm pretty sure she would over feed him if I let her. She has asked to give him cereal and water already.nbsp;She always says he's learned something new thats beyond what hes capable of learning. He apparently knows how to play patty cake from start to finish, yet he still seems to bash himself in the face with his own hands on accident. It's pretty amazing he has such control ONLY when playing patty cake and never does it in front of me. He's 14 weeks btw. By 18 weeks he will be walking.nbsp;nbsp;She LOVES jamming a toy in his face right when he's about to fall asleep.nbsp;When she's trying to calm him down she says "nnnnoooowwwww" constantly. I have no clue about that one.nbsp;nbsp;And of course he looks like everyone on her side of the family and nothing like me or my family.nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;

    Oh I hate that about all my in laws..oh Ella looks like john Ella looks like Dana Ella looks like GMA Ella blah blah blah...I have the best in laws...but I flu cking get it she looks more like ur side stop throwing it in my five..saying it one time is enough
  • image jaime52005:
    image mariahrb:
    Jeez, where do I start?!?!?! My MIL thinks he's hungry every time he fusses. I'm pretty sure she would over feed him if I let her. She has asked to give him cereal and water already.nbsp;She always says he's learned something new thats beyond what hes capable of learning. He apparently knows how to play patty cake from start to finish, yet he still seems to bash himself in the face with his own hands on accident. It's pretty amazing he has such control ONLY when playing patty cake and never does it in front of me. He's 14 weeks btw. By 18 weeks he will be walking.nbsp;nbsp;She LOVES jamming a toy in his face right when he's about to fall asleep.nbsp;When she's trying to calm him down she says "nnnnoooowwwww" constantly. I have no clue about that one.nbsp;nbsp;And of course he looks like everyone on her side of the family and nothing like me or my family.nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;
    Oh I hate that about all my in laws..oh Ella looks like john Ella looks like Dana Ella looks like GMA Ella blah blah blah...I have the best in laws...but I flu cking get it she looks more like ur side stop throwing it in my five..saying it one time is enough

     My LO looks like me a lot yet she refuses to admit it. Annoying for sure. 

    Bradley Houston - 04.01.13
  • I didn't realize until DS was quite older how much it bothered me when the IL family would say he looked just like DH. I would hear it from everyone in town when we visited and it really did bug me. Hello I delivered him! Now with DD everyone says she looks like me and DS, who looks more like me now.
  • image kreeper611:
    I didn't realize until DS was quite older how much it bothered me when the IL family would say he looked just like DH. I would hear it from everyone in town when we visited and it really did bug me. Hello I delivered him! Now with DD everyone says she looks like me and DS, who looks more like me now.

    Same here!  It really surprised me. The night I came home from the hospital, it was all about how the baby was exactly like the hubs.  I felt, from the get go, that he was identical to my baby pictures.  The MIL even showed me baby pictures of the hubs and I still did not see it.  I think people see what they want to see.

    -K

     

  • I hate when she calls DD "my baby"...its MY BABY!!!!
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  • I love my mil but sometimes wonder what she's thinking. DD is colicky and hard to soothe. If she gets over tired its game over. Anyway so I tell my mil that DD is tired so she puts her in the swing which is good then finds the loudest toy and jingles it over her head. Yes DD smiles at the toy then loses interest and is exhausted and mil wonders what's wrong. Or DD is tired crying and probably if given 5 more minutes of crying and fussing would fall asleep so what does mil do? Change her diaper and now she is wide awake and even more tired. Or we have been trying to soothe DD for a good hour and she finally falls asleep and mil pulls out her camera phone with a super loud flash and starts taking pictures of her and wakes her up. Or she is holding DD who has finally fallen asleep and she starts texting but neglects turning the volume down thus waking DD. Then when DD starts crying she says outloud what's wrong or hands her back to me and says she just doesn't have what it takes to calm her. Like I said I love her but she has clearly forgotten what to do with a baby or never had a colicky baby.
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  • I have a great relationship with my IL's and they are great people and help us out a lot. But sometimes she drives me nuts! Something is always too tight on dd either her diaper, clothes, headband, or carseat! The carseat one really makes me mad. She always tries to loosen it and while talking to dd says "mommy has this too tight on that baby.." I want to scream that it is a safety device and its supposed to keep her safe in the event of an accident not be a comfort/soothing device. I buckle her in like I learned from the carseat specialist at the hospital. Yesterday she bought dd new "bigger, softer headbands" ugh!

    We are going on a week long vacation with my IL's in 2 weeks. Last weekend I went to see my parents and stayed the night with them. MIL complained to DH bc her feelings were hurt that I didn't not invite her over to see dd while I was in town. I figured that since we are about to spend a full week with them that my parents deserved a weekend with dd. Guess she didn't see it that way. Drives me crazy! 

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  • Wow. It's a special kind of narcissist that makes a baby's behavior all about them. Boo!

    My MIL and I got along great before baby. But, then once I had the baby she acted like I had had him just for her!  I was recovering from a brutal labor/c-section and she was up at the hospital EVERY day! And after we came home, she wanted to come over EVERY day. And didn't bother to bring dinner, do anything helpful or change a diaper. She just wanted to sit on her romantic grandma throne and coo with baby (who was mostly sleeping at the time). She is not in touch with reality when it comes to babies.

    She's also one of those people that throws money around and thinks it "buys" her a ticket to the Baby Show. She doesn't really give of herself. Which drives me crazy b/c we do EVERYthing for her since she moved here.

    And she whines that she "ONLY" gets to see him "MAYBE" once a week before she started keeping him 2 days a week when I got back to work. It's a real example of how attitude is everything. She is SO LUCKY she lives around the corner and sees him that much. The grandpas, who live states away, would LOVE to see him that much! I think she's getting her reality check now that she keeps him 2 days a week and he's awake and fussing more. :)

     She also gossipy and up our azz all the time. My mom moved here and is living with us temporarily. She attempted to "befriend" mom to USE her to find out information about us etc. She just isn't a warm and fuzzy person. I think I attributed more positive attributes to her than she deserved b/c she was so quiet for the handful of times I spent holidays with her when we were first married (she used to live out of state and now lives around the corner).

    All this being said, I just try to roll with things and keep my attitude in check by looking at the bigger picture. Which is, she's just annoying, intrusive & selfish, not dangerous or rude. DH handles the intrusiveness, so boundaries won't become an issue. I just wish she could think about DH and what he needs vs. herself sometimes.

  • My in-laws are amazing people, and I am really lucky to have them.

    However, DH has an aunt who has really ticked me off... she hardly ever sees DD but whenever she does, she insists on telling everyone how DD likes her the most and that she is my DD's "favourite". She pushes this on everyone - my MIL, my FIL, even to me!

    She came over to our house last month and asked if she could look around our new place. We had just moved in a couple months before, and I was happy to give her a tour. Then she called my MIL up and said how we look poor (because we don't have the fanciest furniture), and that if I don't stop grieving over the death of my father (who passed in February), that child services would come and take my DD away. I was FURIOUS. How dare she imply that because I miss my dad that I might not be taking care of my DD. My MIL did put her in her place, but I seriously don't want that woman around my daughter anymore. She offered to babysit one day... not going to happen!


  • Kate_CKate_C
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Answers 1000 Comments 500 Love Its
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    LOL at lovely's romantic grandma throne comment. That would be my mom in our household. My ILs overall are great. FIL drives me nuts with his fussiness and the fact that he gets upset when the kids want mom and dad instead of grandpa, but whatever. I'll admit I am secretly happy when DD instantly stops crying when the ILs hand her back to me...
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  • OK I'm going to go ahead and be debbie downer here... We lost my MIL suddenly while I was pregnant and I WISH I did have the chance to complain about her.  We miss her dearly and we are very sad our son didn't have  a chance to meet his "Grandma Linda".  
  • image TexasAggie06:

    Tonight after I fed DS and started burping him she starts telling me about how breast fed babies aren't supposed to have to burp.  I just responded with 'well this one does."

    Your response was perfect! 

    image TexasAggie06:

    Then DS was a little fussy because it was late and he was tired, so she starts talking about how he's too spoiled and used to getting his way.  

     

    Ha. My mom is that way. Baby Boy is a crappy sleeper. My mom has been making not-so-subtle hints at how she thinks he is spoiled since he was 4 weeks old. 

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  • image mariahrb:

    When she's trying to calm him down she says "nnnnoooowwwww" constantly. I have no clue about that one. 

    I first read that as "meow". lol Now that would have been weird! 

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  • I've lamenting previously about MIL asking if the baby needs some "extra formula" (he's EBF)... but yesterday she asked if he needed a little bit of juice. ........ juice. ....... wait, one more time: juice. I almost died.
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  • ktr722ktr722
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
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    image andertrr:
    OK I'm going to go ahead and be debbie downer here... We lost my MIL suddenly while I was pregnant and I WISH I did have the chance to complain about her. nbsp;We miss her dearly and we are very sad our son didn't have nbsp;a chance to meet his "Grandma Linda". nbsp;


    So sorry for your loss.
  • image BellaBean76:
    I hate when she calls DD "my baby"...its MY BABY!!!!


    This! Drives me absolutely nuts. Especially since they lived a half hour away and barely had two craps about the pregnancy. Except of course when my husband and I were keeping them from telling everyone about it because we were only 6 weeks. Then they called us everyday to tell us we were stupid, ridiculous, needed spiritual guidance, etc...
    Also, they don't listen. Everytime we ask them not to do something, if they want to they just do it. My MIL also is CONSTANTLY going through my diaper bad! That's my purse right now, wouldn't be shocked if she's checking how much money is in my wallet too.
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