Working Moms

WMs with 3+ Children?

I usually only lurk on this board, but I wanted to ask if any of you have 3 or more children?  If so, how does that work for you?  What are their ages?

DH and I currently only have 1, but the plan has always been 3 (with each about 3.5 yrs apart).  It occurred to me recently that most working moms I know usually stop at 2. 

Anyway, just curious for some input. Am I crazy for thinking 3?  DH and I both plan to work until retirement...

 

TIA!  

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Re: WMs with 3+ Children?

  • I think most people I know stop with two.  We are hoping for three or four.  We will see.  At this point it won't make sense for me to continue working with three.  It barely make sense with two.  I would return to work when the kids start school, but we are planning on having them close together.  With your spacing, it would work to keep working because daycare costs would be much lower.  I would look into a nanny arrangement that would allow your oldest to have a caregiver on school holidays and before and after school, while also taking care of your younger two.  It would also minimize driving and drop off, sick days, snow day hassels for you which I have to think will be paramount by the time three kids are in the mix.
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  • This will be me next year--I'm currently expecting #3 and am absolutely planning to return to work.

    For me, the decision is pretty easy for a few reasons...I love my job, work for a great company and have women bosses who really understand what it's like to be a working mom. I also make enough money that not every penny of my salary will be going to pay for school/day care (although for a little while 70% of it will be--sad but true). We also feel really great about our current child care arrangements (full time preschool and in home daycare which happens to be down the street & walking distance from our house), and are expecting that this baby will basically just fit right in. We have thrown around the idea of a nanny a bit but will likely just play it by ear and reassess next year once if we feel things are not working out.

    It also works for us because we also see ourselves as 50/50 parenting partners. There are ebbs and flows to each of our work, and we both recognize this and agree to pick up the slack. We also can afford some help and are not afraid to hire it--we have a house cleaner that comes every other week, and my retired mother in law LOVES doing laundry and will usually come over once a week just to do this for us. HUGE help (and we give her really generous gifts to thank her).

    So no--you are not crazy. But I think it is important to really be honest and throughtful about your ability to manage it all, your resiliance, and asking for help when needed.

    PS. I also usually work one day a week at home and get to enjoy the quiet house--this really helps me keep my sanity. :-)

    Edited: Also, my kids will be 4 1/2 and 2 when the new one arrives. So, basically two years apart each.

    Will baby #3 be another girl?


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  • image Stella2008:

    This will be me next year--I'm currently expecting #3 and am absolutely planning to return to work.

    For me, the decision is pretty easy for a few reasons...I love my job, work for a great company and have women bosses who really understand what it's like to be a working mom. I also make enough money that not every penny of my salary will be going to pay for school/day care (although for a little while 70% of it will be--sad but true). We also feel really great about our current child care arrangements (full time preschool and in home daycare which happens to be down the street & walking distance from our house), and are expecting that this baby will basically just fit right in. We have thrown around the idea of a nanny a bit but will likely just play it by ear and reassess next year once if we feel things are not working out.

    It also works for us because we also see ourselves as 50/50 parenting partners. There are ebbs and flows to each of our work, and we both recognize this and agree to pick up the slack. We also can afford some help and are not afraid to hire it--we have a house cleaner that comes every other week, and my retired mother in law LOVES doing laundry and will usually come over once a week just to do this for us. HUGE help (and we give her really generous gifts to thank her).

    So no--you are not crazy. But I think it is important to really be honest and throughtful about your ability to manage it all, your resiliance, and asking for help when needed.

    PS. I also usually work one day a week at home and get to enjoy the quiet house--this really helps me keep my sanity. :-)

    Edited: Also, my kids will be 4 1/2 and 2 when the new one arrives. So, basically two years apart each.

     

    This is a good perspective- Thank you.  DH and I also equally share in kid duties, and I have some flexibility to work from home as well...  I'll need to follow up with you after baby #3 arrives... ;) 

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  • We have three and it works.  The hardest part with the spacing is the baby needs to sleep and the big kids have activities.  But the baby adjusted, and it's really only that first year.  Ours are 9, 5 and 1 (going into 4th grade, entering K and a toddler).

    We are moving from private school to public which enables me to hire afternoon/early evening help.  That will enable me to breathe a bit and run out for errands at lunch time, get someone else to start homework, take care of snack, do the first drop for activities, etc.  I am not sure I would do three without some disposable income for entertainment, ability to pay premium for conveniences (like we are moving and instead of shopping for blackout curtains I decided DH will need I sucked it up and paid next day shipping) etc..

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  • I have 3 girls, ages almost 3, 18 months, and 1 month. Basically all 17 months apart, so 3u3 at the moment. I will return to work shortly. Our mornings were crazy getting two little ones to day care, but my husband has just retired and is now a SAHD. He is starting another degree program, and will plan to go back to work in 2 to 3 years. We are new to having 3 kids and this whole setup, but we are finding what works for us. No advice or anything really to give, just sharing that we are a three kid family too.
  • We have 5 (will be 6 next week) my oldest will be 8 in September and they are all about 1 1/2 years apart.  It works well for us, but it's not for everyone.  We wanted a big family, and DH is on board with realizing that parenting is 24/7 for BOTH parents.  We both work full time, and DH picks up seasonal work when possible, those times are a little rough because then most of the kids/house stuff falls on me, but we both know that it will pay off in the long run.

    We have in home care, and it works well for us with the school schedule, no need to worry if someone can be home in time for the bus, or if school is 1/2 day or holiday.

    DH also works nights and I think that helps a TON.  He is able to be with the kids in the morning, sleep in the afternoon and then I'm home at night when he's at work.  This make my work life more flexible because I don't have to take off for dr appointments for the kids, he can go to the concerts/shows/etc if I can't get the time, and we both can save our vacation time for real vacations.

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  • We have 2 for now and will have 3 come January. Honestly, I don't expect for the 2 to 3 to be as big of an adjustment. We will still have drop-offs for the older ones and same activities as now but also sometimes with baby in tow. It certainly helps that we will have a nanny again for the LO - so if any of the big kids are sick, off from school, etc. she can watch them. We also have a cleaning lady (just switched her from once every 3 weeks to once every 2 weeks). So my free time is really spent with the kids and cooking (and DH helps with that with grilling once a week). We do not have family nearby.
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  • We have 5 (will be 6 next week)

    I had no idea! Congratulations!!! Are you guys stopping at 6 (or is this as impolite to ask on the bump as it is IRL?) :)
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  • I have three, each about 2 years apart. I just cut down to PT (4 days/week including one from home) and will be leaving my job at the end of the year. This is just what works for us. Plenty of people do continue to work FT but I am ready for a change and I want things at home to be less crazy (they were crazy before #3, too). DH owns a business so even though he is super helpful when he's around, for some of the year just about everything at home falls on me. I have a 30 to 45 minute commute plus some evening events I'm supposed to attend and it just started to be too much. I'm too far away to easily handle doctor appointments and preschool events and that bothers me. I have an awesome job but it's not part of my "identity" and I am ready to try a new phase of SAH and/or look for something else that I could do just PT for awhile. I can't continue PT in my current role indefinitely.

    So, anyway, what does make it work for us is having in-home care (nanny) which is now cheaper than it would be to have 3 in daycare. It's a HUGE help. It's a giant PITA to find someone (we just went through a long and trying nanny search) but when you have someone good it makes everything SOOO much easier.
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  •  I think that it's just about finding a balance that works. It's the KEY! DH and I work Full time we have three kids. Ages 5.5, 2.5 and 3 month old. He does work nights so it's some what easier and we save money for not sending them to daycare. I recent decided that I will do part time and he will stay full time working. Just cause I want to spend more time with the kids. SO hopefully if other great job come a long and I feel its worth working full time again than I will go for it.  I say if you want three kids and work full time GO for it. There's a lot of mom i know with 3plus that work full time. 

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  • We have four and both work full time. It is hard sometimes. You have to let OCD tendancies go. Things are not going to be perfect at home with four kids and 2 working parents. You have to focus on the critical path everyday. You'll need a cleaning lady. You need some regular babysitters so you and hubby can get out and stay connected. The lifestyle is not for everyone. But I am a busy body so I love it and thrive in craziness. I love my job too so I try to make it all work because I don't want to leave my business. One of us plans on going part time in 5 years when we have a little bit more saved up. 
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