March 2014 Moms

Telling the Fam

My DH and I are very close with our parents and we want to tell them this weekend! Our first appointment at the doctor is not until 2 weeks from now. Is it too early to share? When are all you ladies sharing the news with your families?

Re: Telling the Fam

  • You have to do what is right for you and your family. I've had 2 miscarriages, with the first, we only told our parents. After the miscarriage, we told additional family members (who it leaked to anyway).And those who weren't told said their feelings were hurt (eyeroll to that).

    The second pregnancy, we told more family, but asked them not to share because of the risk of miscarriage. Well, some people were respectful, some weren't. And it was really hard because we had to un-tell people of our pregnancy. And it was REALLY irritating when people I didn't share my pregnancy with, so I never un-told them, called to find out how the pregnancy was going and I wasn't pregnant anymore. 

    The third pregnancy, we told family and let them know that if they tell others, then they have to be prepared to un-tell. That pregnancy resulted in DD.

    Now, my forth pregnancy, I am not "offering" the news that we're pregnant, but if people say "when will you give DD a sibling" I don't lie about it. And I tell them we're not telling everyone. DH, on the other hand, would yell from the rooftops...but knows whoever he tells, he has to un-tell if we miscarry.  

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  • I agree, go with what feels comfortable. We are still undecided about when to tell; hasn't sunk in yet for us. I for sure don't want to tell friends until we are past 1st tri. I'm antsy though to tell our parents and siblings, but will probably wait until after our appointment which is Aug 9th...ugh!

    Dx: Non-IR PCOS
    7/8/13 - Surprise BFP
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    Baby Girl K's EDD 3/14/14, Born: 3/8/14
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  • We told both sets of parents and siblings with our first pregnancy. We knew that ran the risk of them telling someone else, but it was nice that someone else knew...especially after I mc.

    this time we are doing the same. I don't go into my dr until around 10w, so we will wait a few more after that and then will be fine telling others as long as everything is okay!

    It's all personal preference and what makes you comfortable.  

    Started TTC January 2012
    BFP #1 1/26/13; EDD 10/5/13; MMC and D&C 2/26/13. 
    BFP #2 7/8/13; EDD 3/19/14; DD born 3/4/14 due to pre-e

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  • It's never too early as long as you're comfortable.  If you would want them to be there for you, and know if things didn't go well, then tell them.

    I told mine the day we found out.  We have yet to tell MH's family...I'm leaving it up to him and he is being lazy.

    Lilypie - (1UBe)

    Lilypie - (QaQg)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, Kayla Kathryn born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, Emily Kathryn born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!

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  • I'm nervous to tell our families. We had a miscarriage at 7 weeks discovered at 12 weeks and it really shook everyone in my family. I think we are going to wait until we have a u/s picture or a heartbeat sound recording we have a little picture frame with a sound recorder.
    "Once you are real, you can't become unreal again.  It lasts for always." ~ The Velveteen Rabbit
    *8.3.13*  mc @ 6-7 weeks {natural mc at 12 weeks}
    *3.14.14*  mc @ 5-6 weeks DnC {blood clotting disorder discovered}
    *8.7.14* mc @ 6 weeks DnC {uterine septum removed March '14)
    *3.17.15* mc @ 7 weeks DnC {genetic testing and benched indefinitely}


  • With DD I basically told the world before the stick was dry. I got pregnant in late April and decided to not tell many people, just a few close friends that knew we were TTC. Well that pregnancy ended shortly thereafter. I ended up calling my mom crying so he obviously found out. With this pregnancy I decided to do somewhere in between. So far our parents know and close friends and some extended family we saw last week out of state. I will be having an ultrasound tomorrow and will tell siblings and my grandfather after that. Facebook and coworkers will know sometime after first tri.

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  • hjw101hjw101
    100 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    I agree with pp. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. For us we are going to wait until after our first apt around 8 weeks.


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  • I'm not telling our family's (and most of our friends) until after 12 weeks. I want to wait until after the results of my CVS.

    Books read:  7/52

     

    " 'Cause you know what luck is
    luck is believing you're lucky
    that's all and showing just a little bit of faith"
     

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  • I can't seem to keep my mouth shut this pregnancy and in only 6 weeks lol. Hopefully it doesn't bite me in the butt. That being said my general rule is tell whoever, whenever just be prepared if you were to have a miscarriage god forbid, you would have to tell these ppl too. I would want my parents and close friends to know so I'm comfortable with telling them anytime
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  • I've never found one of your posts to be offensive in the least bit.  I think something weird is going on with the bump in general.  I wonder if they sent out the anti-snark rules reminder to all of the boards?  Also, the format looks totally different now, and I keep having problems opening the 2IF page.  For about a week, I get a message from my anti-virus software that it blocked a web attack every time I opened the bump.  I think something is just messed up and hopefully being fixed, I don't think it's you!

    Me: 42. DH: 46.

    1st Pregnancy: MC, 11/19/00.

    2nd Pregnancy: DS born 04/10/06.

    3rd Pregnancy: CP, 03/11.

    4th Pregnancy: MMC, D&C 11/30/11, Genetic testing revealed Trisomy 4.

    5th Pregnancy: Ectopic, 2 doses of Methotrexate unsuccessful, surgery 4/10/12, right tube removed.

    Tried Letrozole January 2013-July 2013 (including 2 IUIs), all BFN.  After 2 1/2 years of trying for child #2, decided to "give up" after July cycle, based on AMA.

    August 16, 2013:  BFP our first month of "not trying!"  Still in shock.  Beta #1 (14dpo): 183.  Beta #2 (17dpo):  611.  Ultrasound 8/30/13: baby measured 6 weeks, 1 day, heart rate of 118 bpm! 
    Ultrasound 9/13/13:  8 weeks, heart rate of 176!
    Baby is due 4/26/14

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  • KC1212KC1212
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer
    member
    I've never been offended by anyone here and it would take a lot to do so :)
    When I got pregnant with DS I only told hubby and my mom. We didn't tell his family bc they gossip big time. I was starting to show by the time we spilled the beans (14 weeks) and I was showing at 18 weeks when I told my boss.

    For me personally - I would probably wait again til at least 12. But I like to be out of the second trimester.
    image

    Me: 27 DH: 33
    Married 6 years
    Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

    TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
    May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
    September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
    October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
    Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
    November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
    No longer benched per New RE/OB!
    Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
    Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
    March 2, 2014 First AF


  • Thanks, yeah, something weird IS going on!! I found it all to be very strange, especially the timing of it, and all of my posts from recent days have disappeared! Oh well... onward and upward! :)
    DH & I: 29
    TTC #1 4/2009 -  DD 2/5/10
    TTC #2 since October 2011
    2IF issues
    7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFN
    8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45  Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm! Anniversary  

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  • Now I'm really confused!  I don't see where you (MJC1116) asked how long to wait before telling people.  Yet, there are a bunch of replies from people answering that question.  No one prior to my reply mentions your actual question at all (about if you said something that offended people).  And the posters before me aren't people that I see on 2IF, at least not currently.  Also, when I repled to you last night, none of those previous replies were there!  What is going on?!!  Does the format look different to you?

    Me: 42. DH: 46.

    1st Pregnancy: MC, 11/19/00.

    2nd Pregnancy: DS born 04/10/06.

    3rd Pregnancy: CP, 03/11.

    4th Pregnancy: MMC, D&C 11/30/11, Genetic testing revealed Trisomy 4.

    5th Pregnancy: Ectopic, 2 doses of Methotrexate unsuccessful, surgery 4/10/12, right tube removed.

    Tried Letrozole January 2013-July 2013 (including 2 IUIs), all BFN.  After 2 1/2 years of trying for child #2, decided to "give up" after July cycle, based on AMA.

    August 16, 2013:  BFP our first month of "not trying!"  Still in shock.  Beta #1 (14dpo): 183.  Beta #2 (17dpo):  611.  Ultrasound 8/30/13: baby measured 6 weeks, 1 day, heart rate of 118 bpm! 
    Ultrasound 9/13/13:  8 weeks, heart rate of 176!
    Baby is due 4/26/14

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  • Now I'm really confused!  I don't see where you (MJC1116) asked how long to wait before telling people.  Yet, there are a bunch of replies from people answering that question.  No one prior to my reply mentions your actual question at all (about if you said something that offended people).  And the posters before me aren't people that I see on 2IF, at least not currently.  Also, when I repled to you last night, none of those previous replies were there!  What is going on?!!  Does the format look different to you?

    Me: 42. DH: 46.

    1st Pregnancy: MC, 11/19/00.

    2nd Pregnancy: DS born 04/10/06.

    3rd Pregnancy: CP, 03/11.

    4th Pregnancy: MMC, D&C 11/30/11, Genetic testing revealed Trisomy 4.

    5th Pregnancy: Ectopic, 2 doses of Methotrexate unsuccessful, surgery 4/10/12, right tube removed.

    Tried Letrozole January 2013-July 2013 (including 2 IUIs), all BFN.  After 2 1/2 years of trying for child #2, decided to "give up" after July cycle, based on AMA.

    August 16, 2013:  BFP our first month of "not trying!"  Still in shock.  Beta #1 (14dpo): 183.  Beta #2 (17dpo):  611.  Ultrasound 8/30/13: baby measured 6 weeks, 1 day, heart rate of 118 bpm! 
    Ultrasound 9/13/13:  8 weeks, heart rate of 176!
    Baby is due 4/26/14

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  • My DH wants to wait until our 6w appt, which is still 2 weeks away. The problem with that is that I've been extremely sick for the last week, and gotten sick in front of my mother, 3 sisters, and MIL. They all know something is up and I don't want to lie to them when they ask. I want to respect DH's wish to keep it between us and the Internet for the next two weeks, but I'm thinking it will be impossible. My boss/friends/extended fam will find out when it's impossible to hide. Which won't be long if this m/s doesn't stop soon.
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