3rd Trimester

Have a wierd question.....

OK- I have an odd question. When I was younger I got pregnant and chose to give the baby up for adoption. When I went into labor the baby was breached so they had to do an emergency C section.

The fact that I was pregnant before is a secret to everyone except my husband and my 3 best friends. Can anyone help me with a reason why I will be doing a C-section again?

I suppose I could just go with the excuse of a breached baby again, but if I could get a different reason from the creative minds out here it would be great!

Or, even better a reason I can tell people now that I am planning a Scheduled C section? ITs a little tricky with my mom because she lives out of state and wants to fly in a week before I am due....  If I can give her a good reason why I am doing a c section it would give me so much ease!

 my Dr. said women who have herpies or some other STD can't deliver vaginally I could use that... he was joking of course, but I would almost rather tell my family that then tell them my other secret!

Any ideas would be appreciated.. please don't judge me, it was one of the hardest things I ever did.. even 15 years later I have no regrets!

 

 

 

«1

Re: Have a wierd question.....

  • First off, have you considered a VBAC?  Second, just say the baby is measuring big.  Or is breech.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • How did you have a c-section and your mom not know? thats a little strange to me. 

    As for lieing, I'd just say too big or breech. Both are valid reasons for a c-section.. 

    Joy

    Proud mom to:

    Cameron (Jan 11, 2000)
    Cassidy (May 5, 2005)
    Callen (August 23, 2013)

    My heavenly angels
    ~Caleb~ Jan 21, 1999
    ~Carys~ April 29, 2011
  • Breached baby I would say 

  • image cameronzmom:

    How did you have a c-section and your mom not know? thats a little strange to me. 

    As for lieing, I'd just say too big or breech. Both are valid reasons for a c-section.. 

    I agree with the c/s without parents knowledge being somewhat suspect.  

    Why are you having another c/s?  It's not necessary simply b/c of a prior one.  But why do you need to give anyone a reason?  Lying is only going to end up tripping you up down the road.

    Natural m/c Oct. 2005

    Dx: balanced translocation and LPD

    TTC since Oct 2011

    BPF 02/19/12, EDD 10/31/12, natural m/c 02/28/12 (4w6d)

    IVF (BCPs starting 10/30/12, ER 11/18/12, 5dt of 1 beautiful, healthy embryo 11/23/12)
    BFP 12/02/12, u/s @ 6w,5d showed 2 HBs! Identical twins!!
    Bed rest from 21w-35w due to short cervix, hospital bed rest from 23w-32w due to PTL
    Our rainbows were born 07/19/13 (36w, 5d)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I was 18, living with my girlfriends and my family all lived out of state...

     

  • You can try for a VBAC, and say that it ended up being an emergency csection.

    You can have a csection for a breech baby, one that is too big, or if you have placenta previa (where the placenta covers the cervix opening). There are other, more rare possibilities but those are the most common.

    image

    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to be over, it's about learning how to dance in the rain." -Unknown

    Married 3-1-08  |  Nathan 11-24-08  |  Kaelyn 11-30-10  |  Alicia  8-17-13


  • image a2003tiger:
    First off, have you considered a VBAC?  Second, just say the baby is measuring big.  Or is breech.

    This. It's been 15 years since the section. That's more than enough time to heal and go for a VBAC. But if you really prefer a section, then large baby or breech are great reasons...even if your baby ends up weighing 6-7 lbs. The U/S weight estimates are wrong a lot. I have a few friends/family who were told they were going to have 9-10 lbs babies and a section was recommended. In every single instance baby was nowhere near that big and OB would just shrug it off and say "well estimates can by off by as much as 2 lbs." It is a very common thing. You can say the this happened to you.

  • I don't see how it's anyone's business how you give birth or why, even your own mother. If a VBAC isn't an option for you just tell your mom your having a csection and that's that. Don't offer an explanation. It's your body not hers.
       image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image
    photo s622_zps5a9557e5.jpg photo 7ed57166-3187-446e-8404-f2ef169fe40f_zps238c4d05.jpg photo s620_zps504f3ce2.jpg
  • Wow...I agree with previous posts, why are you having a repeat C-Section now?  That should be the reason now (not just that you had one 15 years ago).  If you just want it scheduled to know when baby is coming, i would say measuring big, breach or blood pressure.
  • Not everyone wants a VBAC. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a repeat c-section if that is what you and your doctor are comfortable with. I'd just tell your family that the baby is breech. That seems like the easiest solution. Adoption is not an easy choice. Good for you.

    You're my blue sky, you're my sunny day


    image


    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Just say you have placenta previa. That's always a scheduled c/s. 

    a large baby is not a valid reason for a c/s, so I definitely wouldn't use that one.  

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image Kate621:
    Not everyone wants a VBAC. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a repeat c-section if that is what you and your doctor are comfortable with. I'd just tell your family that the baby is breech. That seems like the easiest solution. Adoption is not an easy choice. Good for you.

     

    This. In all honesty we also are doing a RCS and when people ask why I tell them because that is what is best for us. In the end its none of their business. 

    image

    image

  • image BelhurstBride:

    Just say you have placenta previa. That's always a scheduled c/s. 

    a large baby is not a valid reason for a c/s, so I definitely wouldn't use that one.  

    Lying about a serious pregnancy complication?  Um, like I said earlier, lying is going to lead to a mess down the road.  Lying about a serious condition is not advised. 

    Natural m/c Oct. 2005

    Dx: balanced translocation and LPD

    TTC since Oct 2011

    BPF 02/19/12, EDD 10/31/12, natural m/c 02/28/12 (4w6d)

    IVF (BCPs starting 10/30/12, ER 11/18/12, 5dt of 1 beautiful, healthy embryo 11/23/12)
    BFP 12/02/12, u/s @ 6w,5d showed 2 HBs! Identical twins!!
    Bed rest from 21w-35w due to short cervix, hospital bed rest from 23w-32w due to PTL
    Our rainbows were born 07/19/13 (36w, 5d)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image lisarene77:
    I don't see how it's anyone's business how you give birth or why, even your own mother. If a VBAC isn't an option for you just tell your mom your having a csection and that's that. Don't offer an explanation. It's your body not hers.

    My thoughts exactly. No one needs to know the details. If you're having a C section and someone has the audacity to ask why simply say that it's the right choice for you and the baby and leave it at that. No one needs to know anything else.


    imageimage

    image

  • image CNYBride05:
    image BelhurstBride:

    Just say you have placenta previa. That's always a scheduled c/s. 

    a large baby is not a valid reason for a c/s, so I definitely wouldn't use that one.  

    Lying about a serious pregnancy complication?  Um, like I said earlier, lying is going to lead to a mess down the road.  Lying about a serious condition is not advised. 

    Well, I agree with you regarding the lying. I would just come clean, personally. But just like you usually yell at the masses for giving opinions on say, an early induction when that's not what the OP asked about I chose not to touch the lying part because, well, that's not what she asked about.  

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • EmR22EmR22
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper First Answer
    member
    image MissyCee:

    image lisarene77:
    I don't see how it's anyone's business how you give birth or why, even your own mother. If a VBAC isn't an option for you just tell your mom your having a csection and that's that. Don't offer an explanation. It's your body not hers.

    My thoughts exactly. No one needs to know the details. If you're having a C section and someone has the audacity to ask why simply say that it's the right choice for you and the baby and leave it at that. No one needs to know anything else.

    This exactly. Your body your choice. If you haven't told others of this chapter of your life I would just go with the truth of "I'm having a c section because that is what I choose/what is best for me."

     Being a c section mom I feel like I always have to justify it. Which is crazy. My body, my health history, and that is all people need to know.  

  • Good for you for your decision 15 years ago.

    Breech or Placenta Previa. But breech will be the simplest lie. PP will require explanation since its not as understood by those who haven't dealt with it. You 'll have to lie more with that one IMO. 

    No judgement here. I have done things I would do anything to keep from my parents - even still at the age of 34. 

    -K
    Mom to 3 girls ages 2, 4 & 6!
    image
  • image lisarene77:
    I don't see how it's anyone's business how you give birth or why, even your own mother. If a VBAC isn't an option for you just tell your mom your having a csection and that's that. Don't offer an explanation. It's your body not hers.

    This is where I am at. Tell her your doctor has said its the best option for you medically and that's it. There is no reason to have to get into details with her.  

    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

    image

    image

    July 2014 BMB Siggy Challenge
    View Full Size Image
    NTNP Since August 2014
    ***
    TTC for #3 in January 2016!

  • I think you should go with the breech lie.  Everyone knows what that is and won't require further explanation.  As for lying, I don't see why it's a big deal.  You made an incredibly selfless choice 15 years ago, and if you choose to keep that to yourself, no one should judge you for that. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I think you should go with the most "boring" (boring's not the right word but is all I can come up with right now) reason and say the baby is breech.  No need to make up something more dramatic.

  • Nicb13Nicb13
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    image MissyCee:

    image lisarene77:
    I don't see how it's anyone's business how you give birth or why, even your own mother. If a VBAC isn't an option for you just tell your mom your having a csection and that's that. Don't offer an explanation. It's your body not hers.

    My thoughts exactly. No one needs to know the details. If you're having a C section and someone has the audacity to ask why simply say that it's the right choice for you and the baby and leave it at that. No one needs to know anything else.

    This post is kind of odd but I agree with this.

     

    image

    DS born 3/10/12 - DD - born 10/7/14!

     

    image image

  • No judgment here...giving a child up for adoption is a brave and heroic choice IMO.

    Honestly, you don't owe anyone anything here.  I think the easiest thing to do is to say baby is breech.  Nobody has any way of verifying whether or not it's true, and its something I would never question myself if a friend or family member told me.  But I agree with PP who asked if you've considered VBAC?

    Personally, I would much rather tell people my baby is breech than say I have herpes!  Especially when you don't have herpes:)

     Good Luck. 

     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • Hmm...this post is strange. I kinda have a feeling it's MUD, but whatever.

    Why would you even consider lying about have an STD, when you can use a perfectly good excuse that your baby is breech?

    I think that you did the right thing by giving your baby up for adoption, however; why would you want to keep that a secret from your family?

     

    image
    image


  • image cbm3228:

    I agree- just tell them that your doctor recommended a C-section b/c they think the baby will be on the larger side and be done with it. 

    Although the point of your post is not about your past, how did you get away without telling your parents?  Were you not on their insurance?

    Not everyone is as close with their families--physically or emotionally. If I hadn't called my family to tell them I was pregnant and sent them photos, I could easily keep it a secret. I have been out of the house and independent since 17. I was never on their phone plans, health insurance, or anything like that. They live in the Midwest and I live in So Cal. 

    It really wouldn't be difficult to hide a pregnancy and birth for people in similar circumstances.

    As for the C/S issue, I agree with the other posters. Just say your doctor is recommending it for medical reasons and you're comfortable with following the doctor's orders. 

    image
    image

  • image brandilc84:
    Hmm...this post is strange. I kinda have a feeling it's MUD, but whatever. Why would you even consider lying about have an STD, when you can use a perfectly good excuse that your baby is breech? I think that you did the right thing by giving your baby up for adoption, however; why would you want to keep that a secret from your family? nbsp;


    You really can't understand why someone might keep that from their family?

    You're my blue sky, you're my sunny day


    image


    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I think breech is a perfect excuse, so is saying the dr thinks your pelvis is too small for vaginal delivery.

    PS... I think its very admirable that you chose adoption, if it was the right decision for you and your baby, you have every right not to have any regrets :)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Lying is lame.  Just say that your doctors thought it was the best/safest option and leave it at that.  You do NOT owe ANYONE an explanation. 

    4/12/10 - Began TTC 8/2012 - IFV #1 - 18 follicles retrieved, 11 usable, 10 fertilized, 9 continued to grow, 2 tranferred, BFN :( 9/2012 to 10/2012- Treated for uterine infection 11/12/12 - Began IVF #2 12/19/12 - 2 embryos tranferred 12/24/12 - Tested Christmas Eve morning - first ever BFP!!! with a due date of 9/6 :) 12/28/12 - Beta #1 - 193 12/31/12 - Beta #2 - 624 1/7/13 - Beta #3 - 7544 1/14/13 - Beta #4 - 31,067 1/16/13 - IT'S TWINS!!!! Two healthy heartbeats! 8/22/13 9:51 and 9:52pm- Our precious Ashley and Kayla arrived in perfect health.  (Ashley - 6lbs 0oz, 18.5 inches.  Kayla - 5lbs 2oz, 17 inches.)

     

       image

    imageimage

    image
    image
     
  • High blood pressure, fluid levels dropping, big baby, breech baby 

    DS born 7/25/13 - 9lbs 15oz and 20"


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • image shara3333:

    High blood pressure, fluid levels dropping, big baby, breech baby 

    All lies.  Y'all are so comfortable being this dishonest?! 

    Natural m/c Oct. 2005

    Dx: balanced translocation and LPD

    TTC since Oct 2011

    BPF 02/19/12, EDD 10/31/12, natural m/c 02/28/12 (4w6d)

    IVF (BCPs starting 10/30/12, ER 11/18/12, 5dt of 1 beautiful, healthy embryo 11/23/12)
    BFP 12/02/12, u/s @ 6w,5d showed 2 HBs! Identical twins!!
    Bed rest from 21w-35w due to short cervix, hospital bed rest from 23w-32w due to PTL
    Our rainbows were born 07/19/13 (36w, 5d)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • swgdvmswgdvm
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    member

    Breech seems like the easiest.  no one will ask any further questions.  having had placenta previa, do NOT say that! You aren't supposed to exercise, lift anything etc... people will ask lots of questions.

    having said that, at this point in your life maybe you should get the weight off your chest and let your family/friends know. I think it might just be healthier to be honest.  you have nothing to be ashamed of (although, at 18, I totally get why you kept it a huge secret). 

«1
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards