Stay at Home Moms

Awkward about gifts?

Anyone else? The other day friends of ours asked us if we wanted a 2nd baby shower. Of course, we told them no. They're not really aware of etiquette I think, but we explained it's not really done for a second baby, especially so close to the first. Anyway, then they asked if we needed anything for baby 2. I said no.The answer is yes, obviously. But I always feel awkward telling people what we need or want so we always get random stuff that ends up being pretty useless. I just can't be like "yea, now that you mention it, I'd love the infant support insert for our Prince Lionheart Flexibath."
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Re: Awkward about gifts?

  • I'm the same way.  My friend threw a small baby shower for my girlfriend and me a few years ago, and it was so awkward I asked my mother to not throw me a bigger baby shower.  My bridal shower had just been a year before, and it seemed weird to invite people I didn't know well to give more gifts.  We bought what we needed ourselves, and were thankful for the gifts people gave of their own accord. 

     big brother 5/30/10  *  cp 4/27/12  *  little sister 2/25/13

  • We always tell people no gifts. But we mean it. It's partly because I have this pride thing about accepting things from people for my kid. I always feel like he's solely our responsibility. I'm not saying you don't feel that way. This is totally my own hang up. We purposely bought every last thing we needed for DS by like 22 weeks so that people couldn't buy us anything. We're jerks like that. I also don't like getting a bunch of huge plastic toys. So we're complete aholes.

    I'm pretty firm with friends to not buy anything. So then they end up buying clothes, which I know we'll use so it doesn't bother me. But for family, when they push, I say a small contribution to DS's education fund is more useful than anything they can buy and it goes over pretty well.

    Part of me being so jerky about not wanting gifts is because I'm a terrible gift receiver. Whatever I say always sounds so forced and unnatural and I feel like people think I hate what they give. DH, on the other hand, always sounds so genuine, even if it's like a pack of socks. So I'm totally awkward with gifts in a different way.
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  • If someone asked specifically what you needed I'd think they want to buy you a gift, so it's okay to make a suggestion. 

    W/ DD2 if anyone asked we said that we didn't need very much, just some new CDs and a double stroller that we would be purchasing. Most people gave gifts after the baby was here so they could see if it was a boy or girl  


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    E 09.08, V 08.11, J 04.11
  • Baby showers for the second baby are quite common these days.  They call them "Sprinkles" instead of "Showers"  and it's usually just for really close friends/family that are going to buy you something anyways.
  • image littlemermaid:
    Baby showers for the second baby are quite common these days.  They call them "Sprinkles" instead of "Showers"  and it's usually just for really close friends/family that are going to buy you something anyways.

    Oh we told them about the sprinkle phenomenon in our conversation, but I would feel super awkward having even that to be honest. It's actually true thought that we don't really need anything. There are some extras we want, but I just don't feel right telling someone what to buy us.

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  • I am very awkward about receiving gifts and attention about personal events. But I always makes a big deal about other people and their events ie engagements weddings, births.  When my friends gave me a shower I had a pit in my stomach and felt I had to give them something for giving me something. I probably will not have another shower being that we are covered in the boy and girl  issue.  I had friends drop off gorgeous hand me downs yesterday, that was all the gifting i needed.
    Blessed with double the love. C and J born May 2013
  • I love buying gifts, especially for babies.  My friends and family get baby gifts whether their first how many babies down the line.  It my way of showing I care and am excited about their new addition.  If they're asking for ideas, they want to buy something you could really use.  I don't think there's anything wrong with giving  them a general idea of what you could use.  (Like swaddles, burp cloths, clothes in small or bigger sizes, etc.)
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  • Unless it is my parents I am super awkward letting people know if they ask. My FIL asked if we wanted a stroller well my parents offered already but we could have used x instead.

    My FIL sent us 100 in baby memory stuff because we didn't tell him what we could have actually needed.
  • hocushocus
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    If someone asks if you need anything then I think it is fine to mention a few things (Oh we'll need tons of diapers of course. Or We'll need some new accessories for our stroller). While second baby showers are rare in my circle people usually do send gifts of clothing, books, diapers etc.
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  • If grandparents or aunts and uncles ask for DS I do give them specific suggestions. If a friend or extended family ask I say he doesn't need anything and that's the truth. He's so spoiled by our immediate family. Anything people want to give, I appreciate and thank them. It's just nice people are so thoughtful.

  • I was more awkward in regards to the bridal shower then the baby shower. It is not a pride thing, I just feel guilty when getting gifts. Probably because I did not grow up with a whole lot...I don't know. I am still very appreciative of course, especially when it is a handmade gift, I love those.

    I have been to a couple second baby showers, even for those close in age, and I don't really think anything of it. I like buying baby stuff. I wouldn't want one though.

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  • I always feel weird if someone spent way more on me than I did them. My aunt, for example, asked for a pair of slippers for Christmas. I got her a pair of slippers, a robe and a nice shower set. She gets everyone pajamas every year, but she got me a pants set, a short set and a sexier set. She got DH two superhero pants, an Iron Man fleece blanket and Iron man slippers. Then she bought us a new bedding set.

    It made my little gift seem paltry in comparison. 


    Ella the Mermaid 06/13/12 * Wesley the Pirate 09/08/14
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  • Well speaking for the side of the gift giver, if I ask what you need, then I would appreciate an honest answer.  I really don't like the idea of my gift being wasted or not used, so that is why I ask. 
  • I am super uncomfortable when people want to give gifts. My mom threw my baby shower and insisted I register so people have ideas. Out of the 40 people there, my mom was the only person to get anything off the registry, so we ended up with tons of clothes. So I was even more uncomfortable.
  • I feel like this would be a situation where you could have a really small and specific registry. Then if anyone asks you can just tell them the few things we would like for this LO are registered for at this location. Then those who really want to give a gift of some sort will have the opportunity and you don't have to feel like the gift grabby type. 

    I totally understand the awkward feeling that comes along with receiving gifts. I actually got married in a courthouse ceremony because I didn't want to do the bridal shower stuff. I am equally awkward when it comes to giving gifts- just so much anxiety I can't explain. 

  • My girlfriends threw me a sprinkle for DD. it was just the 6 of us and we went to brunch at this great little cafe. They each brought Something small and an outfit or two for DD. it was totally perfect and even though I felt awkward accepting at first I'm really glad we did it.

    When people asked what we needed or wanted, I was honest. My standard response was," that's so sweet of you to think of us! We've got all our baby stuff from DS but well need to stock up on things like wipes and baby girl clothes." That way people knew we would be grsteful for anything we got and I wasn't asking for things like a crib (which we actually do need). 

    Maybe it's just me but I really don't think people ask what you want/need just to be polite. If they didn't want to get you a gift they  wouldn't ask.


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  • image QueSyrah:

     

    Maybe it's just me but I really don't think people ask what you want/need just to be polite. If they didn't want to get you a gift they  wouldn't ask.

    I do agree with this.  I love giving gifts, and certainly don't want to buy something that won't be used.  I just feel awkward about receiving things.  I also feel like it is DH's and my responsibility to purchase the things we need for our children.

     big brother 5/30/10  *  cp 4/27/12  *  little sister 2/25/13

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