Blended Families

SD back from visitation

So SD was gone for a week. She has to spend one week with BM this summer, two next summer, and then it increases to every other week during the summer. We could not get around it. It was the only way the supervisition would get included in the CO, so we are just counting on BM screwing up before we get to the every other week part in a couple years.

Anyway, so we incorporated BM's week long visitation in with the 4th of July so that it would coincide with her weekend AND get the holiday so we would not have to give SD up more that necessary. Timing worked out great. And apparently, SD's grandmother was able to take off the entire week to be able to supervise. SD verified that her grandmother had not left her alone.

So overall, the visit went well. SD had a great time. They took her to the nearby wildlife refuge and she got to get up close with some birds of prey and snakes. She went to the Memphis Zoo. She went to the movies. All in addition to the 4th of July fireworks and picnic. So SD had a blast. I am happy for her.

I am also glad she is home! Oh, I could hardly contain myself going to pick her up. I will admit I cried more than once this week and balled like a baby when she left last weekend. DH held it in, but he was just as miserable. And the nights thay DH has been at work this week have been so lonely without her. We normally have some time for just us after DS goes to bed if DH is not home or is busy. We read a Bible story and normally end up in a long talk about all kinds of things. Oh, I missed that so much. I enjoyed time with just DS, but his conversation topics are kind of limited to monsters and dinosaurs at the moment.

Re: SD back from visitation

  • SpookoSpooko
    10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Second Anniversary
    I'm glad she's back and that nothing untoward happened. 

  • Yay for an uneventful visit!
  • I'm glad she's back!

    It is strange to have them gone, isn't it?  SD just left for BM's for a week, and it's already weird. 

    Bonus Mom to the Bean: June '06
  • I'm glad it went well!
  • I'm so glad she's back and everything went well!! I know I would have been a hot mess!
    BabyFruit Ticker


       Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers                            


    My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5 

  • Thank god it went well and she was supervised the entire time. I can imagine how glad and relieved you arenthat she's home and ok!
  • I'm glad things went well, she had fun, and most importantly, came home safe.
  • Are you on good terms with the grandparent who was present?  I'd be sure to thank her and tell her how much it means to you that she do that whenever she can. 
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • No, we are not on good terms with any of them. The grandparents are involved because they want to save their own face, not because they share a genuine concern for SD. SD has never come before BM to them and never will. They have consitently lied for her to the state, to the police, to the courts, etc. And BM's mom 'is like Mary Poppins' as their attorney put it when we had our hearing, so people believe them. But if she doesn't take off work for the whole week, then BM cannot have visitation. So it's not a matter of doing it out of the goodness of her heart or because she wanted to. She had to. Now that allegations of abuse are no longer privately contained in CPS files and have been announced in court, grandparents will do everything possible to make BM, and in the process themselves, look better.

    But in all fairness, our surface relationship is much better than many I read about on this board. We can all carry on polite conversation and enter each others' homes and be civil to one another for SD. If we happen to see BM without her mom present, she runs the other way whether or not SD is with us. If we see the grandmother, she does actually always acknowledge us and say hi to DS even if SD is not with us.

    Now, the grandfather is someone entirely different. It took him up until about two years ago to even be able to say he loved SD. He hated her until then because he hates DH. And it showed. Even as a toddler, SD could tell. Then when BM went off the deepend and grandparents were fearful of losing a relationship with the only grandchild still here, his feelings toward SD openly changed and he manned up and shook DH's hand and said thank you for being a steady and stable father to SD. But two weeks after that we allowed them to take SD for the weekend in a show a good faith, when BM wasn't allowed to see her, and they immediately called and told BM that SD was with them and met her. So I am pretty sure it was all an act. These grandparents are impossible to trust. They would hide a freaking body for BM if she killed somebody. That's how bad it is.

    Surface niceties are all we have.

    Sorry for the long spiel. Lol
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