December 2013 Moms

Tacky?

I was at a 4th of July picnic at a neighbor's last week, and I was talking baby showers with a new mom that was there.  She said she had a raffle at her shower, but instead of her guests buying tickets for the raffle, they received tickets in exchange for packages of diapers they brought to the shower.  Her baby is apparently six months old and she hasn't needed to buy diapers once. I guess the raffle item was a hefty gift certificate to Macy's or something like that.

I don't go to many baby showers, so this may be common, and I just don't know about it.  But is this tacky? This seems  like the baby shower equivalent of a wedding "dollar dance" to me. 

Thoughts?

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Re: Tacky?

  • I have no idea what a dollar dance is, but this seems like an interesting way to go about geting diapers. Then again, you could end up not getting anything BUT diapers... which is great if you don't need anything else, but not if you're like me and have given away most of the stuff from number 1 (we had preemie triplets born into our extended family about 6 months after our daughter) or it has been damaged (crib, stroller) or expired (car seat). I dunno. I think it just depends on the type of stuff you need.
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  • Thankfully I have never actually witnessed or participated in this "ritual".

    I think it's extremely tacky.


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  • I've never heard of this, but it seems like it's just a different type if baby shower game with a way better prize than most. I think it would still be ok as long as the host was the one to initiate it.
  • Seems tacky to me.

    "Dont fucking ever come out your face talking shit like that" -SG 1/12/2014
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  • I was at a baby shower and the host did this. I don't remember what the winner got, but I thought it was great. I didn't think it was tacky. The dollar dance is tacky, baby raffle is smart.
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  • Ew.

    Please don't require me to buy you more things.
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  • Eh.  I see where you are coming from, but to me it's not much different than getting an invitation to a shower that asks you to bring a book for the new baby (requiring you to spend extra $$ in addition to your regular gift)....at least in this case people have a chance to win something.  Plus I assume they aren't required to participate, right?

    Not saying I would do it, but it's not the worst idea I've heard of.

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  • image Nrg2020:
    I was at a baby shower and the host did this. I don't remember what the winner got, but I thought it was great. I didn't think it was tacky. The dollar dance is tacky, baby raffle is smart.

    I don't like the idea of asking guests to bring an additional gift (and specifying what the gift should be), even if they can somehow win a "prize" for participation. 


    I carry you with me into the world, into the smell of rain & the words that dance between people & for me, it will always be this way, walking in the light, remembering being alive together. - Brian Andreas 

    Lilypie Maternity tickers 
    image
    4 cycles of "TTC" - 2 intentional, 2 not so intentional.  4 BFPs.  No children.
    ~ Returned to trying in March - BFP 04.10.2013 - EDD 12.22.2013 ~ TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little boy.
    ~ Started TTC 12.1.2012 - BFP 12.20.2012~  m/c 1.2.2013
    ~ Surprise BFP 7.26.12 - Lost poppy seed* 8.13.12 <3 ~
  • image Nrg2020:
    I was at a baby shower and the host did this. I don't remember what the winner got, but I thought it was great. I didn't think it was tacky. The dollar dance is tacky, baby raffle is smart.

    Did guests bring smaller gifts in lieu of bringing a pack of diapers? Because honestly, diapers are expensive.  For a friend or distant family member, one pack might be all I want to spend on their baby shower. 

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    T1 Diabetes, PCOS
     
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  • image VCGolfNYC:

    image Nrg2020:
    I was at a baby shower and the host did this. I don't remember what the winner got, but I thought it was great. I didn't think it was tacky. The dollar dance is tacky, baby raffle is smart.

    I don't like the idea of asking guests to bring an additional gift (and specifying what the gift should be), even if they can somehow win a "prize" for participation. 

     It was just casually mentioned on the invite that there would be a baby diaper raffle. It wasn't mandatory or anything.  It wasn't some sort of super classy event. Just a laid back baby shower with the normal games. I never heard of it before, really had not attended many showers so it seemed of the norm to me. Maybe I'm way wrong? IDK.

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  • image superspecialsnowflake:

    image Nrg2020:
    I was at a baby shower and the host did this. I don't remember what the winner got, but I thought it was great. I didn't think it was tacky. The dollar dance is tacky, baby raffle is smart.

    Did guests bring smaller gifts in lieu of bringing a pack of diapers? Because honestly, diapers are expensive.  For a friend or distant family member, one pack might be all I want to spend on their baby shower. 

     It was actually a shower for someone who has low income and most people there as well work the same job and have a low income. Some people went in on larger items together and brought diapers. I remember she got a lot of clothes. I don't even know if everyone brought diapers, can't remember. 

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  • Yes, I think it's tacky, since most showers that do this seem to expect a gift PLUS diapers.
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  • I went to a baby shower where there were 3 prizes for the people who were entered into the diaper raffle! A 75 Amazon gift card, a 50 gas card and a 25 Starbucks gift card!! I didn't bring a package of diapers, but after those prizes were awarded I had wished I did!

    I don't think it's tacky at all! And I'm the queen of thinking things are tacky!
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  • I've heard of it being done, but never actually been to one with a raffle.  I think if it's done at a smaller shower it's very tacky, but for a really large one where it's not going to be obvious if a guest chooses not to participate, it's not AS tacky.  I'd still never do it as a hostess or honoree, but I wouldn't be offended by it as a guest.
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  • I think it sounds like fun. Most showers I have gone to request the book and I like to bring a Sandra Boyton book because my kids loved them... But let's face it, sitting for two plus hours watching someone open gift after gift can get a little boring. I would welcome the excitement of a raffle. I would totally bring an extra pack of diapers for the sheer entertainment value. And of course it should be optional.
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  • yes, diaper raffles are generally deemed tacky
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  • image KateMW:
    Yes, I think it's tacky, since most showers that do this seem to expect a gift PLUS diapers.

    This is what I was thinking. If it's one or the other, then maybe I could see it being ok - but then there's the problem of telling people what to buy. Guests should be able to make their own gift purchase decisions, not be expected to buy one particular thing.

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  • I think this sounds horrid.
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  • mh89mh89
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    This was actually done at my first baby shower. My husband's employer hosted the shower and offered an optional diaper raffle for anyone who brought diapers. I thought it was a common baby shower game.. it was nice to not need to purchase diapers for the first few months and no one seemed offended.
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  • Tacky. Asking guests to bring anything is tacky.




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  • Seems pretty tacky to me.
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    Lilypie - (JzKZ) Lilypie - (DgGJ)

  • where I'm from it is extremely common to have a diaper raffle at showers...in fact I don't think I've been to a shower that didn't have one!

    ETA: I should add that it's optional of course.  And I've never had the money to bring both a gift & a pack of diapers, so I've always opted out, but it has never been weird!

  • image BoothBaby:

    Eh.  I see where you are coming from, but to me it's not much different than getting an invitation to a shower that asks you to bring a book for the new baby (requiring you to spend extra $$ in addition to your regular gift)....at least in this case people have a chance to win something.  Plus I assume they aren't required to participate, right?

    Not saying I would do it, but it's not the worst idea I've heard of.



    The book instead of a card request is also tacky... "asking" your friends to bring an optional gift and stipulating what it will be is tacky and puts some guests in an uncomfortable position wondering if they will be the only one to not participate.

    Raffles are for fundraisers which your baby shower is not.

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  • image jenniferbromley:
    I went to a baby shower where there were 3 prizes for the people who were entered into the diaper raffle! A 75 Amazon gift card, a 50 gas card and a 25 Starbucks gift card!! I didn't bring a package of diapers, but after those prizes were awarded I had wished I did! I don't think it's tacky at all! And I'm the queen of thinking things are tacky!

    You really don't think asking somebody to bring an extra gift is tacky? I'll never understand that.

    FWIW, if they had money to buy all the gift cards {which I'm sure were just regifted from something they had probably} why didn't they just give that to the MTB for diapers, instead of shaking down the guests for more? 

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  • esf60esf60
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    image KKDRAGONFLY:
    Tacky. Asking guests to bring anything is tacky.

    Agree. I've never heard of this diaper thing, but I even find it annoying when I'm asked to bring a book in lieu of a card. They both seem gift grabby.

     
  • image lisa1129:

    image KateMW:
    Yes, I think it's tacky, since most showers that do this seem to expect a gift PLUS diapers.

    This is what I was thinking. If it's one or the other, then maybe I could see it being ok - but then there's the problem of telling people what to buy. Guests should be able to make their own gift purchase decisions, not be expected to buy one particular thing.

    This! I would feel obligated to bring diapers plus a gift.
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  • I don't find it tacky at all. It's totally the norm here. I think I've only been to one shower where they didn't do it and that's because she was CDing. I've never felt like I HAD to, just did it when I could. I think it's a great way to help the mom with diapers and makes it a fun game.
  • I threw a baby shower once and did this.  It is generally considered to be tacky and grabby...I mean, people are already bringing a gift, and you're going to ask them to bring a pack of diapers so they can participate in a game? 

    I was so embarrassed to do it, but my SIL specifically asked for it.

    ::hangs head in shame::

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