Dads & Dads-to-be

Natural Birth

Do any of your wives plan on having a natural birth at a birthing center or a water birth? If so, do yall have any problems from other family members? My wife has looked into this for almost 2 years now and she has her heart set on it. The problem we are having is with our moms, hers a little more than mine. But neither think she can do, and all her mom does is gripe and complain and the birthing center and the midwife. The 2 people she was looking to for help, seeming how this is our first, have let her down. 
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Re: Natural Birth

  • When the time comes the best laid plans tend to change.  My wife ended up with back labor where she had to have drugs.  Others have no problems and can do a natural birth.

    I would have you and your wife sit down with both mothers and discuss why you are planning to do what you want to do.  But also be ready for anything.



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  • Ultimately, the person carrying the child and who gets to give birth has the final say in what they want.

     I will say to make sure you have a back-up plan, and know which hospitals are close, etc. We have friends who have tried the home birth but had breach babies and had to drive in for emergency C-sections. In one case, it's lucky both mother and baby survived, considering how much blood she lost.

    If you can afford it, an in-home Nurse Midwife is wonderful.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • image polooo26:
    My wife didn't even consider it. We used the hospital and drugs. It's a popular way to go for a reason. However, if you want to do something special I'll wish you luck, just be ready for anything and don't do anything to put your baby or wife at risk. I understand where the moms are coming from and I would probably have similar concerns. They're just trying to watch our for their own kids, do what you want in the end, but respect their concerns.

    I feel like natural birth is a little like playing a videogame on "Hard Mode". You can do it, you can get a sense of accomplishment from it, but in the end, you can win the game playing on Normal.

    Yes, I compared childbirth to videogames. Bite me, lurkers ;).

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • DW originally wanted to do a home birth but we decided against it because our insurance wouldn't cover any part of it.  As it is, L&D will be handled in the birthing center at our hospital.

    By the way, both sets of parents expressed concerns about home birthing when we mentioned it to them.  I think most people fear what they don't understand.  If you are going to move forward with home birthing, my advice is to sit down with the moms with a lot of information/videos on home birthing and really explain in detail what it entails and why you are choosing to do it.

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  • image LuckyDad:

    Ultimately, the person carrying the child and who gets to give birth has the final say in what they want.

     I will say to make sure you have a back-up plan, and know which hospitals are close, etc. We have friends who have tried the home birth but had breach babies and had to drive in for emergency C-sections. In one case, it's lucky both mother and baby survived, considering how much blood she lost.

    If you can afford it, an in-home Nurse Midwife is wonderful.

     

    We do have a back-up plan, the birthing center is right across the street from a hospital. And with having a Midwife its not a matter of affording it, doing it this way it was 1/3 the cost of the hospital. 

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  • image polooo26:
    My wife didn't even consider it. We used the hospital and drugs. It's a popular way to go for a reason. However, if you want to do something special I'll wish you luck, just be ready for anything and don't do anything to put your baby or wife at risk. I understand where the moms are coming from and I would probably have similar concerns. They're just trying to watch our for their own kids, do what you want in the end, but respect their concerns.

    The only reason its the "popular" decision is because hospitals and doctors have made us think its the best way. Every other place in the world it is more common to have a natural birth than one that has the woman rushed and drugged.  

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    kaylamarie16
  • image LuckyDad:

    image polooo26:
    My wife didn't even consider it. We used the hospital and drugs. It's a popular way to go for a reason. However, if you want to do something special I'll wish you luck, just be ready for anything and don't do anything to put your baby or wife at risk. I understand where the moms are coming from and I would probably have similar concerns. They're just trying to watch our for their own kids, do what you want in the end, but respect their concerns.

    I feel like natural birth is a little like playing a videogame on "Hard Mode". You can do it, you can get a sense of accomplishment from it, but in the end, you can win the game playing on Normal.

    Yes, I compared childbirth to videogames. Bite me, lurkers ;).

    Having a natural birth is more than doing it just because you can or to feel good about yourself. There are many benefits to a natural birth, and far less risks if done right.

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  • image futant462:

    DW originally wanted to do a home birth but we decided against it because our insurance wouldn't cover any part of it.  As it is, L&D will be handled in the birthing center at our hospital.

    By the way, both sets of parents expressed concerns about home birthing when we mentioned it to them.  I think most people fear what they don't understand.  If you are going to move forward with home birthing, my advice is to sit down with the moms with a lot of information/videos on home birthing and really explain in detail what it entails and why you are choosing to do it.

    We tried that with them. My mom accepts it, but just thinks my wife cant handle it. Her mom refuses to accept it even after watching the documentary that wife watched that helped her make up her mind.

    image
  • OP, if you and your wife have made an educated decision to home birth, great and more power to you.  There are pros and cons to all birthing methods and while MW and I have yet to go through L&D, we have a natural birthing plan that we hope we can adhere to.

    Concerning the Mom's, ultimately if the decision is made then they will have to go along with it, even if they drag their heels the entire time.  I would recommend staying away from videos that demonize certain birthing methods and just try to present unbiased, scientific information that clearly explains home birthing. 

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  • This link shows infant mortality rates in different countries. Most of the other advanced countries are lower than the US. 

    https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2091rank.html

     The following links talk about pros and some cons to natural births. But with everything you read we are doing this right. My wife isnt high risk, we are doing it at a birthing center not at home, plus its right literally right next to a hospital just in case. We have a certified midwife who has been practicing for 20 years. Most cases where natural/home births go wrong the midwife isnt certified and works more underground. When in a hospital and the nurses or doctors see a women in any kind of pain they push drugs which makes them more money. We would rather not have that kind of pressure. Some of the other links are side effects and risks of the 2 main drugs given during labor and of c-sections, which cases of are twice as high here than any other advanced country. Some of these links also cover common myths. Yes there are risks to a natural birth, but there are risks to hospital births also. Its your choice which risks you want to deal with. Either side of the argument can be made to look both good and bad. In the end its a preference.

    http://www.babycenter.com/0_birth-centers-alternatives-to-hospitals_2007.bc?page=1

    http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/07/26/hospital-birth-vs-home-birth.aspx

    http://www.betterbirth.com/home-vs-hospital 

    http://voices.yahoo.com/natural-birth-midwife-vs-hospital-birth-12048057.html

    http://www.everydayfamily.com/home-birth-vs-hospital-birth/

    http://chriskresser.com/natural-childbirth-i-is-home-birth-more-dangerous-than-hospital-birth

    http://chriskresser.com/natural-childbirth-v-epidural-side-effects-and-risks

    http://chriskresser.com/natural-childbirth-vi-pitocin-side-effects-and-risks

    http://chriskresser.com/natural-childbirth-vii-c-section-risks-and-complications 

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  • You do realize that most other Nations count infant mortality different then the United States and if you read the small print you will find this out.  Most European nations don't start counting infant mortality until they pass the 40 week mark no matter when they are born and even then they don't count until usually after 24 hours. I have read this information in the past including the UN report that has the foot notes stating that most other Nations don't report as accurate as the United States.

    As for my birth experience with my wife, they didn't push any drugs on my wife that she didn't ask for after induction because of high blood pressure.  They also waited until her heart rate and blood pressure was low enough before starting the process.  Once they broke her water she went right into back labor.  My son when he decided to come out went from barely crowning to in the doctor's arms in one push.  She had a bad enough 4th degree tear that it took the Dr over an hour to sew up and roughly 35 pads to help stop the bleeding (I was standing over the doctor's shoulder when she was counting them).  If she wasn't in a hospital her life would have been at a great risk from bleeding.

     My mom when she had my brother (her third) barely made it to the delivery room before she had him.  She could have had him at home and it would have been safe.

    I know of others who had major problems where either the child or the mother or both would have died if they were not in a hospital.

    In the end it is your wife's and your choice.  It seems like you have done enough research to make up your mind.  Just remember that when it comes to giving birth things change and can change in a hurry.



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  • image polooo26:

    From Wikipedia: The World Health Organization (WHO) defines a live birth as any born human being who demonstrates independent signs of life, including breathing, voluntary muscle movement, or heartbeat. Many countries, however, including certain European states and Japan, only count as live births cases where an infant breathes at birth, which makes their reported IMR numbers somewhat lower and raises their rates of perinatal mortality.[24] In Germany and Australia, requirements for live birth are even higher.[25][26]

    IMR isn't a very good stat to look at for this discussion. This rate is influenced more by environment, not by how the baby was delivered. We need to consider perinatal mortality. This is when the baby dies at birth or very early on in life. I couldn't find rankings of this but found America is low. Not the lowest, but they are good. Countries that are lower might just be healthier countries. Japan for example, those people are just crazy and in a different league than us. I did find this article though: http://rt.com/news/brussels-infant-deaths-austerity-984/

    I think it's a nice example that illustrates factors that can lead to high perinatal mortality. The main reason is lack of health care (hospitals). It also shows that poor people have fewer options (home births/birthing clinics) and that can lead to a higher rate. And I hate to say it, but there are a lot of poor sections in America that probably no doubt drives up our perinatal mortality rate. If every person gave birth in a preferred hospital I would expect the rate to decline.

    That was my research.

     

    Dude...Wikipedia?  C'mon man you need to do better than that.  Encyclopedia Britannica that sh!t.

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  • A big part of why our infant mortality rate is so awful is we don't have universal health care.

     

    Yep, I went there.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • WTF are you guys talking about...mortality rates in Japan and all... The dude said they will be right next to a hospital and have a back up plan. OP, don't be deterred. If your wife and you are wanting to experience natural birth, go for it. I had my child naturally and it was the most awesome experience in my life. Nothing else comes close for me. Good luck and congrats!
  • image hopanka:
    WTF are you guys talking about...mortality rates in Japan and all... The dude said they will be right next to a hospital and have a back up plan. OP, don't be deterred. If your wife and you are wanting to experience natural birth, go for it. I had my child naturally and it was the most awesome experience in my life. Nothing else comes close for me. Good luck and congrats!

    We are discussing pros and cons. I personally think birth centers are AWESOME. Especially attached to a hospital. We wanted to go that route, but were just too high risk to qualify. We ended up with a C-section due to Giant Baby Syndrome.

    Yes, some babies are too big to push out, no matter what the hippies say. My wife would be dead if not for modern medicine. 

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • we actually were going to go to the leading birthing hospital in the state, but sadly if you are not high risk they won't take medicaid.
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  • our regular hospital takes medicaid but we didn't a regular hospital, well i didn't, my wife was only going to Winnie Palmer Hospital to please me, but since they don't take medicaid and she isn't high risk we go with her choice
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  • image FinsDad79:
    image LuckyDad:

    Ultimately, the person carrying the child and who gets to give birth has the final say in what they want.

     I will say to make sure you have a back-up plan, and know which hospitals are close, etc. We have friends who have tried the home birth but had breach babies and had to drive in for emergency C-sections. In one case, it's lucky both mother and baby survived, considering how much blood she lost.

    If you can afford it, an in-home Nurse Midwife is wonderful.

     

    We do have a back-up plan, the birthing center is right across the street from a hospital. And with having a Midwife its not a matter of affording it, doing it this way it was 1/3 the cost of the hospital. 

    Midwifes do not have the tools our the experiences to deal with problems that may arise. Birth is not a template, it is a unique thing woman to woman. I could not imagine my wife not being in a hospital to give birth. There are risks to birth, and when those risks become more critical and require medical attention, I  could not imagine a midwife being charged with the the health of my wife and child.

    I get the concept, but I would be a nervous wreck if even a small issue came up.

    image

  • image FinsDad79:

    image polooo26:
    My wife didn't even consider it. We used the hospital and drugs. It's a popular way to go for a reason. However, if you want to do something special I'll wish you luck, just be ready for anything and don't do anything to put your baby or wife at risk. I understand where the moms are coming from and I would probably have similar concerns. They're just trying to watch our for their own kids, do what you want in the end, but respect their concerns.

    The only reason its the "popular" decision is because hospitals and doctors have made us think its the best way. Every other place in the world it is more common to have a natural birth than one that has the woman rushed and drugged.  

    There is a reason why the likes of Madonna and that hack Paltrow come back to the states to give birth. Again, not slamming the concept, but rather being very aware of the risks involved with childbirth, having witnessed that firsthand.

    The bolded part makes no sense to me at all.  My wife was in L&D for two days before giving birth. I wish she was rushed through that drama, actually!

    image

  • image LuckyDad:

    A big part of why our infant mortality rate is so awful is we don't have universal health care.

    Yep, I went there.

    Actually, it has much more to do with prenatal care in the minority community. Most of that is through vitamins and regular exams during the pregnancy. There are all kinds of clinics and services for that, but many of these mothers refuse to change their life styles while pregnant.

    Milwaukee has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the country, and it is demographically limited to poor, inner city black folks.

    Universal health care has very little to do with it.

    image

  • image hopanka:
    WTF are you guys talking about...mortality rates in Japan and all... The dude said they will be right next to a hospital and have a back up plan. OP, don't be deterred. If your wife and you are wanting to experience natural birth, go for it. I had my child naturally and it was the most awesome experience in my life. Nothing else comes close for me. Good luck and congrats!

    WTF????

    Good for you.  My wife was full epi and had to be in ahospital for two days being induced.

    Everyone is different, and considering he posted the question here ON A FORUM, he is going to get some responses he likes, and responses he doesn't like.

    Wow.......

    image

  • My wife did not want a natural birth, she chose to have our son at a hospital. 
  • image polooo26:
    So what is the mortality rate at birthing centers? It seems like everyone here has a story of how if they or someone they know went to a birthing center it wouldn't have ended well. No one has said that about a hospital.

    Most birthing centers try to avoid higher risk pregnancies. This includes if the mother is significantly overweight or over the age of 35, although YMMV.

    In our case there would have been time to rush to the hospital if we attempted a home birth. It would have been unpleasant, but an there was time for an emergency C-section.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  •  

    image ladyjenna13:

    Midwifes do not have the tools our the experiences to deal with problems that may arise. Birth is not a template, it is a unique thing woman to woman. I could not imagine my wife not being in a hospital to give birth. There are risks to birth, and when those risks become more critical and require medical attention, I could not imagine a midwife being charged with the the health of my wife and child.

    I get the concept, but I would be a nervous wreck if even a small issue came up.

    Where exactly are you getting your information on Midwifes from? CNM's provide essentially the same care as an OB, with the exception that an OB can perform surgery, and a midwife is generally better equipped to prevent those emergency situations from happening in the first place. Just speaking as someone who has recieved care from both an OB and a CNM.

    I personally prefer a midwife because more often than not they will go into much greater detail about nutrition, fitness, overall health, and preventative measures. They provide a much more personal experience than many OBs do. Some women like that approach, and some prefer to have an OB, which is fine, but there's no sense in making hugely false statements about how midwifes "do not have the tools or the experiences to deal with problems that may arise".

    Yes, a midwife can not perform surgery, but it's not like you're sh*t out of luck if you need a c-section performed, every hospital has an OB on call to perform surgery. Natural births with midwifes are performed at hospitals all the time. Just because you give birth at a hospital doesn't mean it can't be natural.  

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  • A mid-wife doesn't "need" to perform surgery as long as she has an OB for back up, which they all do, unless you are seeing a midwife that's "underground" so to speak.There are pros and cons to either a midwife or an OB, for example you better believe I'd rather have a midwife if I had an posterior baby or dealing with shoulder dysoctia. Being able to prevent a c-section for some people is just as important as being able to perform one in the first place, so that logic doesn't really add up. I'm not saying one is better than the other, but since the PP essentially is, and with uninformed 'facts' just thought I would point that out.

    I'm aware that the OP and wife will be at a birthing center, as will I when I give birth. And obviously every situation is different, but for mine, it will make no difference. It takes exactly the same amount of time for me to get to the OR from the birth center as it does to get to the OR from L&D.

    BTW, you might want to refrain from grading other people's posts until you can scrounge up a post that's not loaded with grammatical errors....

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Sheesh...people need to calm down in this thread.  All of you, take a deep breath, relax, and stare at the kitten.

    image

    Feel better? 

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  • image polooo26:
    image Khaleesi07:

    A mid-wife doesn't "need" to perform surgery as long as she has an OB for back up, which they all do, unless you are seeing a midwife that's "underground" so to speak.There are pros and cons to either a midwife or an OB, for example you better believe I'd rather have a midwife if I had an posterior baby or dealing with shoulder dysoctia. Being able to prevent a c-section for some people is just as important as being able to perform one in the first place, so that logic doesn't really add up. I'm not saying one is better than the other, but since the PP essentially is, and with uninformed 'facts' just thought I would point that out.

    I'm aware that the OP and wife will be at a birthing center, as will I when I give birth. And obviously every situation is different, but for mine, it will make no difference. It takes exactly the same amount of time for me to get to the OR from the birth center as it does to get to the OR from L&D.

    BTW, you might want to refrain from grading other people's posts until you can scrounge up a post that's not loaded with grammatical errors....

    I only spelled one word wrong. If you could understand it then that's all you need.

    Here's a chill pill. Now go back to your board.

    Definitely more than one word ;-) and I'm not usually a grammar nazi, but then again I'm not the one 'grading' posts for whatever reason. If you're not up for having an informative discussion, that's fine, but maybe you should be popping that pill?

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • image polooo26:
    image Khaleesi07:
    image polooo26:
    image Khaleesi07:

    A mid-wife doesn't "need" to perform surgery as long as she has an OB for back up, which they all do, unless you are seeing a midwife that's "underground" so to speak.There are pros and cons to either a midwife or an OB, for example you better believe I'd rather have a midwife if I had an posterior baby or dealing with shoulder dysoctia. Being able to prevent a c-section for some people is just as important as being able to perform one in the first place, so that logic doesn't really add up. I'm not saying one is better than the other, but since the PP essentially is, and with uninformed 'facts' just thought I would point that out.

    I'm aware that the OP and wife will be at a birthing center, as will I when I give birth. And obviously every situation is different, but for mine, it will make no difference. It takes exactly the same amount of time for me to get to the OR from the birth center as it does to get to the OR from L&D.

    BTW, you might want to refrain from grading other people's posts until you can scrounge up a post that's not loaded with grammatical errors....

    I only spelled one word wrong. If you could understand it then that's all you need.

    Here's a chill pill. Now go back to your board.

    Definitely more than one word ;-) and I'm not usually a grammar nazi, but then again I'm not the one 'grading' posts for whatever reason. If you're not up for having an informative discussion, that's fine, but maybe you should be popping that pill?

    Which words did I misspell? Why are you still here?

    Once again, totally missed the point. I wasn't pointing out grammatical errors to be a snot, I was doing it to point out that it's disingenuous to "grade" someone's post--that actually contributed to the discussion--when yours weren't error free. Why am I still here? Well, why are you still responding to me?

    "Boo-hooo why can't they leave us alone?!?"

    Because I'm actually trying to provide the OP with some useful information. 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • image Khaleesi07:

    Where exactly are you getting your information on Midwifes from? CNM's provide essentially the same care as an OB, with the exception that an OB can perform surgery, and a midwife is generally better equipped to prevent those emergency situations from happening in the first place. Just speaking as someone who has recieved care from both an OB and a CNM.

    I personally prefer a midwife because more often than not they will go into much greater detail about nutrition, fitness, overall health, and preventative measures. They provide a much more personal experience than many OBs do. Some women like that approach, and some prefer to have an OB, which is fine, but there's no sense in making hugely false statements about how midwifes "do not have the tools or the experiences to deal with problems that may arise".

    Yes, a midwife can not perform surgery, but it's not like you're sh*t out of luck if you need a c-section performed, every hospital has an OB on call to perform surgery. Natural births with midwifes are performed at hospitals all the time. Just because you give birth at a hospital doesn't mean it can't be natural.  

    Not every midwife is a CNM. Many are not. My understanding is most CNM's were nurses first, then became certified at midwifery.

    I do agree with your point that CNMs will often have much more time to provide total care. Many OBs, especially at big hospitals, have to maintain a certain load of patients which makes it very difficult to provide much individualized care.

     As these topics often do, there's been a certain level of blending talk about hospital vs. birth center vs. home birth and natural vs. conventional birth. And to reiterate my personal view: Whatever a couple chooses to do for themselves is all good in my book as long as they don't try to judge others for making a different decision. 

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • Also, that chill pill is over half a pound! That's quite the hard pill to swallow! *rimshot*
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
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