Blended Families

XH promising to pay parents back.

We'll see about this.

I decided to send XH a letter telling him he has until end of August to get $100K in life insurance on DD.  Proof of insurance was due April 22nd, I haven't given him grief, but lets get this taken care of.

He fought back and ripped into me a little a couple of days ago. I refused to listen and ended the conversation. I emailed him and pointed out all that I was NOT asking of him in the CO, what is typically each parent pays half for that I did NOT require of him. I also reminded him of how much his children cost me personally and I got little or no appreciation and their lives continue to be wasted. 

This morning he called me and said that by Monday he will have the insurance set up and handled and I will have proof.  He also told me that he would be getting a loan (in order to build his credit) and he will personally pay my parents back. 

Okay. We'll see.  I am not holding my breath.

"he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval

Re: XH promising to pay parents back.

  • There will be an excuse Monday why he doesn't have the life insurance policy. I'm sorry he sucks, j.
    image
  • He didn't seem to realize that it was $100K. I reminded him to look at the CO.  He also said his lawyer said that it doesn't matter the dollar amount, just that he has the insurance. Um. No. Not when you agreed to by signing the CO stating you would have the CO.

    His lawyer by the way is an old friend who helped him with OWI 8 years ago. He's not a divorce or family lawyer.

    He also seems to think he'll be put in jail if he doesn't do it.  Which I'm going to let him think.  (Thank you XSD's mom and the Texas system).

    He brought up modifying the custody agreement. I haven't told him yet that I won't do it unless he has a lawyer right up the agreement. I'm not opposed, but I'm not going to do it unless it's legal and in writing. I'm not going to pay for something he wants.  He'll have to dole out the cash this time.  He won't want it to get to court, and I do believe we can agree, so knowing him, I'm pretty sure it will work out fine. I'm just tired of being the one to handle it all.  I'm sure his girlfriend will help him.

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • The best part - I'm hanging with family this weekend - I told Dad and Mom. They don't believe he will but mom really can not wait for the day he shows his face. She has a few things to say.

    My brother overheard and he asked if he could be present as well.  I'd like to be there too. I don't want to miss that. 

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • J please stop letting things slid. You need to be sticking to the COnso that when you have to file contempt you can show all that he did not do and that you stuck to the agreement. If he is supposed to pay half of copays then ask for it and keep track. Maybe you never ask file contempt but right now you are babying him maybe less than you used to but by paying his way you are in some ways still taking care of him. Stop doin it.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • I am not letting things slide or babying. That was the point of finally pursuing the life insurance. He does not have to pay half on medical expenses because I waved that in the CO. I know better.  He'll never pay it because he's still paying for the heart surgery XSD had 15 years ago. It's pointless. And I don't care to fight him forever in court trying to get everything I can from him, only to have him run off to get Texas, get a job under the table and never see a dime. I wisely picked my battles.  Medical wasn't one that I chose to pick. Especially when I have a career that typically provides really good insurance.  I'm fine in that department personally - unlike the other children's BM's were.

    I also know what he is capable of making, so it's unrealistic to ask for the world. I weighed my options and I am now making sure he follows the CO to a T.  I'm not cutting him slack or babying him at all anymore.

    Which is why I said if he wants to change the custody - he can pay for it and handle the paperwork. I think he expects me to do it.  But I won't do that either. I'm perfectly fine with the way that it is.

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • Glad to hear it. Sorry I thought differently, only looking out for you!
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • Yes

     

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • Yes

     

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • What custody change does he even want??
    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
  • He wants it to be more 50/50. 
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • image justj:
    I am not lettingnbsp;things slide or babying. That was the point of finally pursuing the life insurance. He does not have to pay half on medical expenses because I waved that in the CO. Inbsp;know better.nbsp; He'll never pay it because he's still paying for the heart surgery XSD had 15 years ago. It's pointless. And I don't care to fight him forever in court trying to getnbsp;everything I can from him, only to have him run off to get Texas, get a jobnbsp;under thenbsp;table and never see a dime.nbsp;I wisely picked my battles.nbsp; Medical wasn't one that I chose to pick. Especially when I have a career that typically provides really good insurance.nbsp; I'm fine in that department personally unlike the other children's BM's were. I also know what he is capable of making, so it's unrealistic to ask for the world. I weighed my options and I am now making sure he follows the CO to a T.nbsp; I'm not cutting him slack or babying him at all anymore. Which is why I said if he wants to change the custody he can pay for it and handle the paperwork. I think he expects me tonbsp;do it. nbsp;But I won't do that either. I'm perfectly fine with the way that it is.


    I agree with you here. We also chose to continue to provide medical insurance and expenses for SD because we know we will never see a dime from BM anyway. No point in fighting over something we are going to have to end up paying for anyway. Not to mention it woule have made her eligible for increased government benefits again.

    I think it was smart thinking, J.

    Why does he want more visitation when he doesn't take advantage of all he has now?
  • If I get this job, we will be living in the same city.  Right now we are 2 1/2 hours away from each other.

    He has been taking his weekends now, and has been stepping up, but I think it's for appearances for the girlfriend.  It will grow old and they will want to be toddler free I am sure.

    While I welcome him sharing the duty as a parent...I question the motives and if it will last.

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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